Oh honey @Orgasm_Chaser I wish there were more I/we could do.
Please don’t apologise about letting it out here - it’s a safe space and it doesn’t matter if your post is 2 sentences or 200 sentences, you are what’s important.
xxx
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Thanks hunny. I was going to post when that happened with me dressing up but I’d not joined for long. I suppose it’s all come out now xx
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@Orgasm_Chaser I am sorry for your situation and hope the advice you get here helps . All I can add is years ago I had to break up with the most wonderful partner in sex and life I have ever had . She felt the need to go out partying with several “friends” that were beyond a bad influence . They kicked her out of their car at 1:30 AM in a very rough part of the city and I had to race on my motorcycle (armed) to rescue her . The second time that happened I had to tell her to move out . Her friends also brought drugs into her life . I still miss her 38 years later , but staying with her would have killed me . May you find a solution that takes the stress level way down for you . Good luck !
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@Orgasm_Chaser we can’t make people love and respect us if they don’t want too, he has to make the decision, but no matter how much you tell yourself you love him, he is using you and has no respect for you on any level judging by what you have told us.
You have been brave enough to share the details on here, now it is time to respect yourself and move on. Look after yourself and your boy with your mum’s and friend’s support and you will come out the other side and you will be a happier more content person. As you can see on here so many of us believe in you, so time to believe in yourself. Wish could help more but hope everybody’s words help, everybody has your best interests at heart - big virtual hugs and kisses - stay safe, stay sane and be true to yourself x
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@Orgasm_Chaser look at the long list of cons you have told us, and the one pro…you love him. He doesn’t seem like he’ll ever change and be a decent partner and father. You have MS, he should be looking after you and your boy, not you looking after a 5 year old and a 30+ toddler. There is a man out there who will look after you and your boy, but you won’t find him with the on/off ex on the scene.
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@Justthe2ofus2007 you have hit the nail on the head. I’ve said before he wants to live a single life but also come home to a family when needed
Thank you everyone for your words of advice. I’m no angel. I have a nasty tongue when I’m angry I will take the blame where it’s due and I’ll be the first to admit where I’m wrong but I can’t possibly be blamed for the whole relationship breakdown. Where I’m genuinely at fault… Yes but not everything. He thinks he’s the only one thats suffered because he’s lost everything. The house, the dog. I gave him the dog… Which he’s not really bothered about. The house… which I bought everything in and paid all the bills… That’s material shit. I’d give it all up to be happy again.
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One last reply for you @Orgasm_Chaser, you need to change the title of this and your viewpoint… be positive, take control, break the thread and see that it is you that is rejecting him for what he is!! You may love him, but you need to turn the table and reject him for once and all, do not let your ‘love’ for him confuse you. Take care x
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@Orgasm_Chaser I do not envy you the position you are in or the decision you are being forced to make ,However you deserve so much better than this and when you finally make the break final then you can concentrate on you and your child and leave your ex to get on with his own life on his own.Get the dog back though. 
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I agree, if he can’t look after his kid, i wouldn’t trust him with a dog.
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Oh @Orgasm_Chaser I am so so sorry to read the horrors that this man has put you through. I can only reiterate the advice of everyone else, you’d be so much better without him. He is emotionally abusive, he is gaslighting you and he is putting your physical and mental health at risk.
If you do absolutely nothing else (completely fine) I’d really recommend getting an STI check if you haven’t already. If he’s been shagging about (and sounds like he’s been doing it unprotected if he’s gotten a new habit of pulling out before ejaculating), you really need to make sure he’s not brought anything with him from the others. You don’t know where he’s been.
I know it seems like there are no other options out there and if you’re anything like me you’ll be weighing up is no sex actually better than sex with the ex? And I think it’ll take a change in your perspective to realise that it is. I’m not going to preach at you, you’re older and wiser than me with more life experience and a child. What I can say is that my ex was similar, narcissistic, selfish in bed, slept with many many other women behind my back, everything turned into my fault etc. and I went through the same cycle of taking him back because I didn’t think I could find anyone as good and didn’t want anyone else. It took me until now (9 months & sex with 2 other men later) for the fog to clear about how toxic that relationship was and how I am so much better off without. I’m not having sex, I am single but that truly is better than the emotional rollercoaster I couldn’t escape from when I was still shagging my ex. Was constant getting my hypes up and getting disappointed. Sounds like this is similar for you. You’ll get there in your own time, however long it takes!
Another piece of advice is to lean on your friends and family more. If you’re in for the evening with no plans you’ll be thinking about him. Get out of the house, do something to take your mind off him. It’ll make distancing yourself a bit easier.
I hope things pick up for you soon honey and you find someone who treats you well because you deserve it. XX
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I think today has completely took it out of me. I think an early night is in order. Thankyou everyone. Much love 
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@Orgasm_Chaser keep your friends close. They’ll look after you. Hope you have a relaxing night.
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Thankyou x
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Sorry, not had a chance to be on the forum most of the day @Orgasm_Chaser but your post definitely needed a response. I feel very strongly for you but basically I’m going to reiterate what a lot of others have said and be pretty blunt.
If you read what you’d written above but from another member of the forum what would you think and what would your advice be? It is not a difficult decision at all, it is absolutely a heartbreaking one. This man is without a doubt using you and emotionally abusing you and is suffering no consequences for doing so.
From what I’ve read and advice you’ve given on the forum you are a wonderful person and deserve so much better. This person has steadily destroyed your confidence and self respect leaving you emotionally completely drained.
You say your 5 year old is very protective of you and that’s brilliant but no 5 year old should be in the position where they need to be. Think what it’s doing to him seeing how upset Dad makes Mum.
Both you and your Son need to make a clean break because at the moment his Dad is not suffering any consequences so has no reason to change his behaviour. If he goes away, gets clean and makes the effort to be a better Dad then that’s wonderful and be supportive of him becoming a proper Father and having a good relationship with your Son but I’d still not go back into the sexual relationship.
Much love x
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Hope you sleep well @Orgasm_Chaser an early night is well deserved! Like others have said, lean on your family, friends and forum friends xx
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I’m trying to find the best words to say this, while yes it’s positives how you love him and how he makes you feel but the picture you paint is hardly positive. It’s very toxic and negative in truth I think the best way to put it is he is your addiction. The same way he is addicted to drugs and control, your addicted to him.
Breaking that and leaving something so toxic is never easy, I know first hand. My ex wife and I were like that, I loved her and so I put up with everything. Even when she falsely and it was proven falsely accused me of abuse I still loved her. Was standing in court trying to defend my self and be allowed to go back home and still was wondering if we could work.
Took a lot of time and therapy and in truth being with someone who actively shows really love for me to heal and realize just how bad thing were.
So ya, I think while it will be hardest thing for you that you have to stand strong and draw your line. Cut him off, if he changes great if not you are free of the toxic relationship. The last thing i’ll say is no matter how hard it is think of your son, is this the type of relationship you want him seeing and associating with love?
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So sorry to hear about your problems @Orgasm_Chaser . You have had a lot to deal with and you need to put your son and self first . You have been very kind to me and I wish I knew how to advise you . You deserve somebody who will love and cherish you and your son in the way you both deserve . Sending you all my love xxx
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Your all right. I know that deep down it’s never going to work as much as I would like it to. Still after 11 months of toing and froing not one issue has been resolved. Swept under the carpet/ agree to disagree. We can’t talk about any of what’s happened because it explodes. @Peitho your right aswell. If I was reading this about someone else I’d be like wtf. After everything he’s put you through. Child/ family or not how can you stay in such a train wreck of a relationship.
@Enchantress29 I’d never thought of it as an addiction. 3650 days on a drug is a very long time. Maybe it’s time to see the Dr see if they can offer support. Thanks for the realisation
@VanillaWithSprinkles not just a pretty face babe. I’ve had an sti test waiting at drs for about 6 weeks. I’d called my nurse. Explained situation shed put it in a brown envelope behind reception to keep things discreet but 1 kids were off school 2 I still kinda believed he wore a condom like he said. 3 I’m embarrassed/ scared. I’ve asked him tonight and yes he pulled out. Bare back with however many there were. I feel sick, disgusted with him/ myself so I’m going to first thing when lil man is at school. So thankyou aswell for the realisation. I would have never guessed it. N he said I’m thinking too much into it. Prick
Thankyou everyone who’s commented even if not knowing what to say but to sent love. I wonder if LH stock amnesia pills FFS lol
Anyway guys new day tomorrow. No more crying (yeah oreyt then lol)
Much love to you all x 
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Virtual hugs!
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