Hi BBG... you're totally right about rebellious Catholic girls :D
Also, my rant was just a big rant. I was very ranty today. I can totally see how ingrained fear and guilt could hold someone back from enjoying sex, I'm just on a real anti-church buzz at the minute. The more reading I do on sex and sexuality, the more irate I get that I live in Ireland!
Ah well Miss Sparkle, it is most apposite that you make such a generous and open offer to learn the secrets of licorice, or lick-or-itch as they say in Japan.
Fact is, our resident sex slave has just died. We were hosting a dinner party for 10, and as a bit of post dinner entertainment our sex slave injected a 2 litre mixture of cream soda and sherbert up her backside, closely followed by a tight fitting butt plug. She then proceeded to pogo around the dining room to the Sex Pistols, the idea being to see how far she could shoot the butt plug.
Unfortunately the butt plug fitted a bit too tightly and she exploded instead, making a right old mess of the table cloth and draping her intestines around the necks of the closest guests. Needless to say, everybody then passed on the cheese and biscuits course and we had no option but to withdraw to the conservatory and leave the cleaning up for the naked maid in the morning.
So we do indeed have a vacancy for a sex slave; all the usual benefits, private health insurance and 25 days holiday a year. If you would consider taking up the position (fnarr fnarr) then we shall indeed induct you into the secret realm of licorice.
Alternatively, listen to BBG. Sound advice. But then you would never know, would you...
@ Shellyboo. There is a method to our madness as the above demonstrates; and of course you couldn't find much on Google otherwise it wouldn't be secret, would it!!? Tch! Irish women!
hey bbg - i have tried and it is definately getting better - i will keep you updated
Mr and Mrs Naughty - what a fantastic offer you have made - a girl could not refuse. I am presuming that i would start work for you once your advice has been given, and i have taken that advice used it and ah the desired results!
i look forward to hearing from you!
Miss Sparkle,
You would of course need to be interviewed first. Please publish a CV by return stating why you feel you would excel in the position, highlighting any particular talents you feel may be relevant.
Name: Miss Sparkle
Qualifications: Life experience in many situations!
Experience: Threesoms (2g 1b)
Anal , boob jobs, bj's , masages etc
bondage
Sex toy collection and the ability to use everyday objects as a sex toy
Hobbies: Sex
reading about sex
Watching sex
Taling to others and hopefully helping them re sex and related topics
trampolining and blowing bubbles
Previous jobs : Till girl @ supermarket moving upto a supervisor to an acting manager
French Maid
nurse
admin assistant
Lingerie model
claims negotiator
About me: i am punctual, well presented and always want to do the best i can . Very
hardworking. Always willing to try something new!!
Hope that helps
Mmmm - you sound yummy miss sparkle - how'd you like to cum and work for me instead?
OMG - I love trampolining and blowing bubbles! It's such a coincidence.
Just come over to my gaff instead, Miss Sparkle - you won't have to do any work, we'll just lounge around drinking cocktails, maybe do some trampolining and bubble-blowing, and continue the investigation into the libido-boosting powers of licorice
Don't scoff too much liquorice with shellyboo - it can give you high blood pressure. Good for treating genital herpes though...
*scarpers*
shellyboo that sounds fantastic i do love the cocktails and bbg also a great offer - i think i should change careers!
how great would it be to just go around and visit loads of people, bouncing, blowing bubbles drinking cocktails and having lots of sex
i also really want to learn to roller skate - imagine the sex fun you could have on skates!
Now look here you lot; we have first dabs on Miss Sparkle so bugger off and find your own!!! LOL!
Miss Sparkle, the CV looks most promising, when would you be available for a practical interview? It should only last the one night, bring whatever you think may be appropriate with you. When you are finally exhausted we have made the Tantric Room available in the East Wing, overlooking the rollerskating rink ,where you can rest and mull over the previous nights pleasures. We can then make the Rolls available to you to take you home after your tantric massage and Taoist multiple orgasm lesson.
We look forward to hearing from you in the near future.
The Naughties.
BBG wrote:
Don't scoff too much liquorice with shellyboo - it can give you high blood pressure. Good for treating genital herpes though...
*scarpers*
Yeah, you better run. There will be no cheeking the Overlord.
Nyaaaa - you can't catch me - I can vanish at will
BBG wrote:
Nyaaaa - you can't catch me - I can vanish at will External Media
Fair enough - your loss though ;)
* develops sudden inability to de-materialise*
BBG wrote:
* develops sudden inability to de-materialise*
LOL. Thought so.
i will be available this weekend or next week, actually i am free most of the time! i have my bags packed and ready!
Miss Sparkle, next weekend sounds good for us. Perhaps you could give us some idea what you intend to do to impress us during the rather lengthy talent demonstration phase of the interview, and whether you need any special accessories or items of furniture made ready for you. Also, which rooms will you be needing to show off your talents?
i do not want to give too many details away and spoil the surprise. i can supply most of my own items but i will require a table, trampoline, a large quantity of jelly nd also if you have a room with some sturdy hooks in the walls, i will need to be able to suspend myself from these so they need to be strong.
Miss Sparkle,
Yes, we can make all of your requests available, however what flavour jelly do you need? Well, all now seems arranged; certainly we can't wait for your demonstration. All you need to do now is tell us how to contact you so we can give you directions to us. Obviously we can't give you details on here, otherwise that BBG and Shellyboo will try to gatecrash and we'll have to get security to have them disembowled with a rusty screwdriver and their innards hung on the gates of the estate as a warning to other interlopers.
We await your contact details,
Aha! Gotcha!!
miss.sparkle@live.co.uk
and ahs to be orange jelly everytime
