Funniest/best/worst thing you’ve done in a job

@SteelA1 thought some of @WillC’s anecdotes on here might give you a chuckle :crossed_fingers:

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Im pretty sure @WillC is on some kind of watch list after all these confessions :joy::joy:

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@MsSubExperimenter @zombifiedguy

Nooo, i’m an angel! All those anecdotes are true though! :slightly_smiling_face:

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In my job I see a lot of people’s names and some of the ones I come across are just “Why? Why would you do that to your child?!”

There are some fun place names too :joy:

@WillC is an angel… his halo just lives around his ankle :wink:

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True! :wink:

The name one reminds me, the butcher’s was just off a market place and every Wednesday there was a stall selling off-cuts of carpet. The guy had a navy blue transit van with M Hunt Carpets in big white letters written on the side. Some wag used one of those white sticks shops used to use to write on their windows to add IKE to the M! :rofl:

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Jees I have a few. One that sticks in my head right now;

While I.was studying I worked as a salve for asda. I put up with some amount of crap off my manager cause he knew I hated it there but had to be there.
Eventually I went down management training and he became worse as a person, a teacher and just because he knew I was going to be his boss some day. He was highly jelious of me and also because I didn’t take his crap and answered him back when he was being stupid.

When I got turned down from a job as a section manager because he didn’t like one of my interview answers that was the final straw.

I worked in the warehouse and had been there close to 4 years by this point and had saved the company thousands of pounds and made them thousands.
We in the warehouse knew of a few wee hiding places where stock could "vanish"if we got an inspection etc to save the managers getting into trouble.

So said manager went back to given me hard to and all the jobs of the day, so i started to plank fish from the fish counter in said hiding places. I got chinned for this 2 years after I left by one the guys I worked with because the smell was that bad they had to call environmental health in one time

He also was a keen cyclist and had a £8k carbon fiver cycle bike. He parked it near where we parked our forklifts to charge, it went missing a few times, was out up above the corridor etc, who h you can only get to with the forklift, which always had no battery at 4.45 when we wanted to go home :thinking::man_shrugging: dunno how that happens.

On a side note, not me. But someone took a poo in one of the hiding holes, that was nasty and we never found out who, but I applaud them

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@WillC I promise you this is true but years ago I had a friend who’s name really was Mike Hunt.

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One that still makes me laugh was when I was working at a shop that sells industrial cleaning equipment . I was mechanic there . We had the old shop next to our new shop . The old shop was not very well lit . We kept our old paperwork and manuals in a very tight mid building room . At the time all the office workers were in the new building and the service shop was in the back of the old shop . The senior most modest religious secratary was over looking for some old paperwork , but the single light was burnt out . She was bent over and I was passing through at a rapid rate and did not see her . My crotch collided with her subtle buns , starting to knock her over . I had a reflex reaction. to save her from a fall . Which was to grab around to stop her from falling . Alignment of my hands ended up catching her by her ample tits and pulling her back against me . An uncomfortable few seconds and we both started laughing until we almost collapsed . The rest of the time I worked there , I would ask her if she wanted to go look for old files ? Always got a big smile out of her .

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Love it @Oldman

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I believe you! :joy:

That’s amazing @Oldman :joy:

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That’s a proper ‘Carry On’ moment there @Oldman :joy:

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Thanks @MsSubExperimenter , I have many stories from my years as a fireman , rescue diver . At the same shop I was referred to as “the unfriendly customer specialist” . Usually a good discussing the problem would defuse the problem . However one time about lunch time I came back from a field service call and all the office girls had tears or were crying and looking super scared . The bosses and all the other people were out to lunch . I asked the same lady what was going on and she pointed to the back shop and said there was a very large man that was very mad about the machine he had recently purchased . As a foot note I was in my prime as a body builder and having played football and wrestled in high School along with hanging out in biker bars I was not unfamiliar with physical activities . I have always had a mind set as a protector of women and kids . I went back and told him we should talk outside . As soon as I removed him from the building , the secrataries called the police . We had a very short discussion and he swung on me . He was about 6’ 5" and myself 5’8" , I deflected his punch and took him down to the pavement and used some wrestling moves on him and put him in a choke hold the police were no longer allowed to use . He got sleepy about the time I heard the police sirens . The police seemed surprised that I was not injured and commented I could not use that hold . I mentioned that I could , being an emergency medical technician if I took it too far , I would bring him back . Shortly after getting the handcuffs on him he came to . We had a longer discussion and the police wanted to know if I wanted to press charges , I declined for myself , but a simple assault for verbally assaulting the girls in the office was fitting . The office girls were alway nice to me , but it sure seemed they went out of their way to be extra nice to their defender for some time afterwords .

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A true gent and hero! :clap::clap::clap:

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Many many moons ago a spotty teenager working as an agency worker (me) I was asked to open a newly installed roller shutter door about 30 high as a lorry wanted to be loaded I dashed over and proceeded to press the button smiling to myself how helpful I was and how quick I responded to the request , unfortunately I did not secure an internal door in the main door and as it got to the top it swung open and jammed right at the top crunch bang clatter completely knackered the whole door , the site manager came out and gave me a round of fools for the damaged door that I had caused and sacked me on the spot ! The next day they sent someone to my house to ask me to go back I decided against it if they can do it once they can do it again so thought better of it But I will tell you this I have not done it since lol

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Had a fair few roller shutters not raised high enough when i worked in the steel mill, cue lorry taking it with it! :rofl:

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Many years ago there was this fella who worked in a Hospital morgue, he was known for his sense of humour and antics. Every now and then the Police would bring new recruits to the morgue to look at the deceased as a way of introducing them to seeing a body, that was done so that they would not be so distressed when they attended a real scene.
One of the Police officers used to play a trick whereby he would place himself on a table in the fridge, as he was being pulled out for the recruits to see he would sit up scaring the recruits. One day as he was laying waiting to be pulled out, he heard some one say “It’s cold in here” The officer removed himself from the fridge and proceeded to run as fast as he could whilst screaming. The mortician had placed himself in the fridge next to where the officer would be laying prior.
Not directly involved but I thought i’d share as it was indirectly work related. I would not be able to tell personal funny experiences here.

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Hmmm funnest there’s a few, which wouldn’t be allowed in today’s health and safety culture

  1. wrapped someone up from the shoulders to knees in wrapping clingfilm… Left him there
  2. someone welding, snuck up behind and froze his rear with a co2 fir extinguisher.

But the funnest, still brings tears, on overtime sweeping up and pretended to hit someone on the bum with the plastic shovel, he turned around and said hit him properly, so swung it like I was hitting a home run, the shovel stopped and he flew forward a couple of feet! He couldn’t sit down for hours :joy::joy:

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I have lots of little ones from working on bars and retail that I need to remember :thinking:

Sometimes I can’t help myself with a bad joke and already grumpy customers do not appreciate them :joy_cat:

A lady was returning a jumper made of netted material because it had a hole in it and I pointed out that it had lots of holes in it :smiley_cat: she wasn’t impressed.

A guy asked for shallots, I showed him, we didn’t have many left and obviously I had to say “sorry that’s shallot” and he wasn’t very happy :man_shrugging::yum:

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In the best category I have several . I was a volunteer rescue person while I was a machinist and my coworkers knew it . A very good friend was taking his pills before the start of the shift ( he was about 100’ away from me ) but in view . He always took his vitamins and pills with coffee , which means the hot acidic drink strips the lubricating layer from your throat . I was tying in with the overnight shift at my machine and noticed he abruptly got up from his chair and looked like he was coughing . Then he was making some erratic movements and started heading for me . I met him about half way . Pointing at his throat , I summarized he was choking . Gave him repeated heimlichs and alternate back blows . He is about 6’ and maybe 260 and I was lifting him off the ground . As I am doing this I am running through my next steps to try . I was impacting him very hard with back blows and he was almost to the point of passing out when with. a mighty back blow the pill came out . He recovered very quickly and was quite thankful . I was just glad I did not have to go to a mechanical device to clear his airway or cut his neck for a tracheotomy . A mineral vitamin had wedged in his throat to pin the flap to his lungs closed so coughing did zero good . The next day he called me up and asked if I liked Sammy Hagar , and I said sure ( he had been to over a half dozen concerts ) . He asked if my wife and I would like to go to his concert the following weekend , I told him let me check with my wife . Hell yeah we would like to go ! I said what time should we pick you guys up ? He said he only had two tickets . I said , no you go and he said he and his wife talked it over and said if I had not been there , he would not be alive to go . In rescue work people always wanted to give us something to repay us , I always tell them your tax dollars paid for my training and most of my equipment . On the other hand you do not want to belittle them . It was one of the best concerts I have been to .

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