My other half could have run a mile the other day when I showed him the dual ring cock ring with strap that I bought the other day. he hasn't ever done any form of bondage before and I'd like to get him to try - any idea as to how to get him to warm up to the idea?
Alot of people start with the usual mild blind fold and handcuffs, they are both very common things, and almost everyone has them.
So id suggest offering to handcuff him and blindfold him, while you pleasure him, this has worked for me in the past and developed into alot of other parts of bondage play.
Hope this helps xx
Don't bring it out suddenly and go "ta dah" and want to try it there and then. We used a paddle for the first time this past week and I found the secret was to bring it out after lovemaking when you are both relaxed and just have a look at it and discus how you could use it another time. Of course, it might seem a bit intimidating for him, so why not look at getting something first like Morbidia says such as cuffs or a blindfold, but for him to use on you?
Best of luck X
blindfolds are always a good start. sit him on the bed, put the blindfold on him and tell him youare going to do whatever you want to him and he isnt allowed to stop you
make sure you only do things you know he likes the first time, make sure you keep the trust there, and tickle and tease him til he is begging for you and cant stop himself grabbing you
then maybe ask him afterwards if he wants to reverse the roles next time. try things at your own pace and make sure you have ways of communicating where the boundries lie and you will be getting or giving spankings in no time!! x
I'd agree with everything said here, but what about a sit-down and chat before whipping out the toys? It really depends on whether you guys feel comfortable communicating in such a way (and, for some people, it would be pretty intimidating to instigate a sex conversation!). But really, if you're comfortable to do such things, it shouldn't be too difficult to chat about it.
Perhaps when you next have some time alone (and you know you won't be distracted/ neither of you are busy), and things start to heat up a little bit, you could bring into the conversation fantasies that you'd like to bring into the bedroom. Start off with small things (not necc. BDSM related activities if he'll get spooked easily!) and make sure he can communicate to you things that really turn him on. Perhaps if he sees clearly that this sexual experimentation is a two way street (and you're not planning on just strapping his cock up and whipping him senseless), and you're on an equal footing, it may help him relinquish some control.
If you choose a more common and less intimidating toy, like a blindfold, bring this up in conversation. Ask how he'd feel about a blindfold, and if he seems unwilling, you could ask what exactly it is that bothers him. If he doesn't feel comfortable talking about it, then I'd say leave the topic (but I'm sure you'd be able to judge the situation) and come back to it some other time.
princess_nympho wrote:
My other half could have run a mile the other day when I showed him the dual ring cock ring with strap that I bought the other day. he hasn't ever done any form of bondage before and I'd like to get him to try - any idea as to how to get him to warm up to the idea?
yeah i can't imagine that was the most gentle introduction to bondage lol! i agree with what all the others have said! talk about it and ease him in! External Media
My gut feeling is that vanilla people are pretty put off by locks. You can get velcro cuffs from here - they are soft, comfortable and almost escapable. Coloured rope is pretty harmless as well. Take it slow.
You don't want to hurt him and put him off in the future. Cheap handcuffs can overtighten.
KinkyWolf wrote:
My gut feeling is that vanilla people are pretty put off by locks. You can get velcro cuffs from here - they are soft, comfortable and almost escapable. Coloured rope is pretty harmless as well. Take it slow.
You don't want to hurt him and put him off in the future. Cheap handcuffs can overtighten.
I'm not sure which cuffs you're referring to, but perhaps the Tracey Cox Beginners Soft Bondage kit? I'd recommend it wholeheartedly, even if you're just looking at the restraints. It's very well made, comfortable and non-threatening - certainly worth a look.
And bondage tape - very good if you want to see if it's for you.
I introduced my OH by using scarves ... not thick knitted ones but soft satins, organza etc, def not threatening, don't waste money on things you won't use again and adds a personal, gentle touch to the first times!
I have no chance of getting my hubby into this as much as i would love him to be into it he will not partake.
GeOrDie_bOy wrote:
I was quite lucky that my GF was up for trying bondage and jumping in at the deepend so to speak. We did still take it slow however and started with handcuffs and blindfold, then worked our way onto leg restraints, then a gag and then whip. We have yet to try the hot wax!
Take it slow and talk to your partner, perhaps make a game out of it. Loser is handcuffed and teased for 5 minutes?
hot wax is fun! External Media
care in the community wrote:
I have no chance of getting my hubby into this as much as i would love him to be into it he will not partake.
not even if he found you tied up and willing? External Media
luckil for me my partner was more then willing when i first brought up the subject, we're not fanatics who do it everytime we have sex, but very often we involve bondage and S&M in our play
'tis fun! :]
DesignDude wrote:
care in the community wrote:
I have no chance of getting my hubby into this as much as i would love him to be into it he will not partake.
not even if he found you tied up and willing? External Media
Oh now that is a possibility but how does one tye themselves to a bed hehe
My bloke always said he wasn't keen and couldn't understand how being tied up was fun. But I just produced the handcuffs and tape and he loved it.
care in the community wrote:
DesignDude wrote:
care in the community wrote:
I have no chance of getting my hubby into this as much as i would love him to be into it he will not partake.
not even if he found you tied up and willing? External Media
Oh now that is a possibility but how does one tye themselves to a bed hehe
I've been able to tie myself up using slip knots before...it's tricky (particularly the second hand) but not impossible!
Another alternative is the velcro bodage stuff you can get on LH that makes it easier to tie yourself up in a variety of ways:
Door restraints: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=5202
Starter kit: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=5212
In terms of bondage for him it might be better to be a bit cunning go for more "spontanous" bondage using non purpose-built items....e.g:
- if he wears a tie you could loosen it and lift it over his eyes to make a blindfold
- stockings make nice blindfolds and restraints and it's quite a nice visual for him if your wearing them then slowly roll them down your leg before using them to bind his hands
- dressing gown ties (silky ones in particular) make pretty good restraints
- belts: can be used on wrists and pulled tight (plus if it's the belt he's wearing that you use, the excitement and anticipation of you removing it should really turn him on!)
Hope these ideas help :)
xxKPxx
KittyPurry wrote:
care in the community wrote:
I have no chance of getting my hubby into this as much as i would love him to be into it he will not partake.
In terms of bondage for him it might be better to be a bit cunning go for more "spontanous" bondage using non purpose-built items....
I find that one of the big problems with some "spontaneous" activities, is that suddenly springing them on a partner with little or no prior negotiation can deny that partner adequate opportunity to decline consent. And in my experience a lack of explicitly expressed consent can only ever end badly.
Communication, negotiation, and consent are huge things in my life, and I find that meticulously focusing on them can only ever be beneficial to each of us, not only in our sex lives, but in all aspects of life.
Would you want your partner to disregard your explicitly stated disinterest in an activity? If a partner isn't into an activity and explicitly declines their consent to it, then unless you're willing to transgress their consent I'm afraid that should be the end of it.
There's nothing stopping you from keeping talking about it though, if it's important to you.
all this bondage sounds like a gud idea ill get my partner to give it a go i think ?