Objection read. You said the words, I just pointed it out and told you to do better.
I’m sure there are plenty of threads about body parts, are they as negative as yours? Let me know and I’ll say it there too 
3 Likes
Thank you , i dont like to get involved in this type of conversation but after laying in bed this morning with my OH snuggled up to me stroking me saying i love you , your body is so gorgeous and lots of other things (and he didnt want sex 
) i thought it was time to get my point in . Im off to prepare our healthy dinner for tonight now , yes im a housewife but i made that choice and i consider myself very lucky to be in a position where i can do that 
basically just getting that out there before anyone comes back on my dated sexist comment from my previous post
1 Like
@Lovingsex I totally agree with you and don’t normally comment on conversations which could be considered very personal and certainly not wishing to upset anyone. Although older than you and your partner we seemed to have followed a similar path, married at 19 and still together and in our mid forties we decided to be more adventurous in our sex life. We still enjoy a cuddle and hubs still says he loves me and I am being silly over my own doubts on my confidence. Maybe this is why we have similar views? x
2 Likes
Yep I think so mid 40’s married at 19 2 children by 20 and struggled through with what ever life threw at us , now it’s just us and after a lot of hurdles we are stronger than we have ever been and rekindled what out teenage years were like (just not as often 
haven’t got that energy anymore) it’s all about love trust honestly and knowing someone will catch you when you fall and loving every part of each other , he has twice as much to love now
2 Likes
@Lovingsex so so true and we had 3 children very quickly and all that life threw at us and we have come through that and over the years we are now stronger although not saying it was easy. I am certainly not as flexible 
as I was and love your comment “ he has twice as much to love now”. That is certainly true with me! You are certainly right about love, trust and honesty and having someone to catch you. x
3 Likes
I don’t like my naked body…especially my breasts and will always wear underwear for intimacy…my partner at the moment has never seen me naked.
I always wear a bra and usually tights which get ripped or a bodystocking sometimes an outfit too.
3 Likes
I’m starting this all over. I shouldn’t have said I want to see her naked. All I’d really like is to see her nether region. She hates her legs and I understand that so crotch less pj bottoms would be fine and I think she’d go for that.
But even if not I’m good with what we have now. From other threads I see I’m a pretty lucky guy.
Also realized that even though I’d like to please her more from giving her oral, who can argue with someone who climaxes from giving me head!
To clear the air on a few things, I absolutely do not consider men superior to women, either in a relationship or at work. Once I fired a highly paid guy on the spot for a misogynistic comment about a gal on the team.
I’ve learned a lot from this forum. The differences in likes and dislikes is amazing. Some sad things too like ED issues and those longing for sex in ways their partner doesn’t go for. Things that make my desire insignificant.
I do come from a time where sexist jokes were more common. But they weren’t all degrading to women. Try this one:
God says to Adam and Eve “before I send you off I’ll grant you each one wish. Adam go first”.
Adam says “I want to be able to pee standing up”.
Eve says “I’ll take multiple orgasms”.
I think I’m good to go.
My GF is on a trip right now and we had a really good phone call last night. Actually a FaceTime call where during part of it she had her camera aimed at one her breasts and mine at my pecker, albeit not erect. If down she calls it a pecker and when up a cock.
I think she is going to be up for a crotch less pj bottom.
We spoke some about her reluctance for me to see her pussy and go down on her. When I pressed her on her liking her clit sucked when she’s nearing a climax, and this must have come from past experience, she said yes. When I then asked why more oral in the past compared to now, she said well my pussy isn’t the same. I don’t think she can explain this or if I suspect it’s because she’s more “foldy” there she’s embarrassed to say so. I told her with my hand it feels fine to me. I also told her I don’t think there’s much in the way of her actual vagina because she’s the first woman I’ve ever been with who when getting on top gets me in hands free and quickly. Admittedly quite a few years were with the women mentioned below who had large inner lips.
At some time when going down on her I’ll need to ask that she helps by spreading her self with her hand. Above her vagina is a bit foldy. This was the case with two previous partners who had quite large labia minors (Inner lips) where spreading help was good.
We also talked about using our hands together and she said great.
On a different topic, we talked about more talking during sex. She’s also up for that.
We also talked about how to find my prostate with her finger because frankly I don’t even know if that would be exciting. She said but you like me playing around the rim but at the last putting my finger in. I said yes I like it but it could just be exciting because it’s a taboo thing.
So things are looking good. We often wonder how many other 77 year olds do and talk as we do. We do know you won’t break FaceTime from 77 year old “parts”.
Thanks again for the helpful advice.
The vagina is inside, the vulva encompasses the lips. Don’t describe her as foldy 
2 Likes
What did you learn (if anything) about what she needs if she is to be comfortable showing you more of herself?
I still see a lot of focus on ‘parts’ and a determination to see something she is withholding from you (for whatever reason) I also see a fair bit of comparison of those parts with other woman’s (even without seeing hers) i hope these things weren’t actually said to her as even if you were positive no one wants to feel they are being compared, she needs to feel likesge is your only concern at that time.
1 Like
Think this point is so important in terms of repairing the situation, making the effort to ensure the message of love does not have a ‘…because I want or need’ attached to it. I’m not saying that is the case for OP at all here of course, just think it is very important to separate from the sex side in terms of self esteem and body image.
Saying and doing the right things because you feel them, without expectations for personal gain, is such a powerful gift we can give.
@oresteb17 I do have to remind myself you are older than me, and subsequently there is like a generation difference with a lot of the replies coming back to you based on words used/language etc.,
Life is so different now from when I was a teenager in terms of views and what was acceptable, and I’m 30+ years your junior. That you are 77 and asking for help and assistance is a big thing in itself, and I think you have done it in an honest way too - taking some kicking’s along the way.
I would just like to say well done in terms of looking at this stuff, and wanting to make a difference for you and your partner. Your post and replies have been with honesty and worded in your language, which I think may have given people a false impression in places.
Final thing I will finish on, there is a lot of good advice around talking and listening to understand where your GF is at and what might work for her. I’d like to refer back to the quote that opens this reply - making an effort to show what your GF means without any expectation is an incredible way of maybe making some amends around the past.
The past cannot be undone, but sounds like you are keen to show that you have changed.
2 Likes
Sorry if this ends up long, but I need to square some things away here.
First about “parts”. For starters it’s a lot about parts with her too. She loves my penis. There you go - used one clinical term. If I come back from the bathroom last with just my sleep shirt on she’s eyeing my pecker my whole way to the bed We always begin with passionate kisses but she’s often the one to break it off and head straight to business. She’ll allow me to mess with her to begin with but is usually only putting up with this wanting to get straight to my cock. Even when she’s finished me off, she likes to stay there for awhile. What can I say, she loves my cock, both looking at it and pleasing me.
As mentioned we both like passionate kisses and cuddling after.
We both love each other and never hesitate saying so in front of others. Always close off phone calls with I love you without concern if with others. Something I’ve noticed other couples don’t.
We’re also playful. Often putting a hand down the others pants in the kitchen. Especially teasing if we do this while just us in the kitchen with company in the dining room or living room.
Regards the word foldy. Yeah, likely not a good word but at the time couldn’t think of another way to say it.
No, I don’t ever vocally compare her to previous mates. She knows some things because she knew some of my former wives/girl friends. As I knew her first husband quite well.
I try hard to treat her lovingly. If she’s feeling poorly she loves it if I make dinner and bring it to her in bed. She doesn’t drink coffee but likes when I bring her tea in the morning.
Yeah, I’m a bit old school but because I have a well equipped shop she loves me fixing things she brings back from estate sales. But I also do pretty much any sewing needed.
I’m a big advocate for women and would never view my partner as anything other than equal nor any other woman.
I’m a social liberal. Pick your letter out of LGBTQIA? Can’t say I get trans but to each his own. In fact one grand daughter’s husband is a trans man.
Being old does require an effort to use non offensive words. It’s hard to shake words and expressions used for years. Blew me away when someone I know doesn’t like the expression “getting lucky”. I do want to be sure I don’t impart offensive attitudes which I’ve been accused of here.
Meanwhile I like my partner’s parts but most importantly her brain. She is smarter than me. Will admit I don’t like that she beats me at ping pong.
Hope I’ve cleared up at least some issues.
1 Like
Just to be clear, my question as to did your conversation tell you anything about what she needs in order to be more comfortable showing you her body was not a dig, it was a general question, as your descriptions of conversation and actions often come back to focus on what she does for you and I wonder whether it’s that she deflects conversations about what you can do for her by her saying she just enjoys pleasing you or if it is just how you are relaying the conversation or are you not hearing something she is saying. If she deflects for some reason and finds it hard to talk about what she wants and needs (which is ultimately what you need to get to the bottom of, pun intended, for her to be able to show you what you want to see) then some form of therapy or counselling may be the only answer, if you can’t encourage her to talk to you about it.
Hmm. If I haven’t mentioned this it could be she really doesn’t care about me satisfying her in other ways because she climaxes from going down on me. It’s incredible how excited she gets. Never experienced anything like it. I mean she goes at it to almost losing her breath. To say nothing of her wonderful sounds. In other words she can satisfy both me and herself by doing me.
That said, while she’s down on me I usually have a finger or two in her. During our last conversation I asked if she liked this. She said yes which confuses me somewhat because she doesn’t like 69. Says it is too distracting. She can’t concentrate on me. Thinking more about this it dawned on me that she does like oral on her to the point of in fact distracting her from what she’s doing to me. But not so with a finger in her.
So, I don’t need 69 although it is a comfortable position. It is encouraging to know she does enjoy getting oral making it worthwhile to figure this out. In the dark even though she may think I’m not enjoying what I’m finding there, probably complimentary words might help.
As far as PIV she loves being on top. And she also loves leaning foward so a breast is in my mouth. Problem is we both have big bellies and this literally takes my breath away. I think she knows this is what discontinued our PIV her on top so perhaps she won’t take offense by asking her to lean back, especially if I put the reason on my big belly.
Back to the naked issue. Fully naked is out. Legs are out. I’ve by accident seen her legs and there is no way I could say anything positive that go over as anything other than an outright lie and make things worse.
From her recent maybe on a modified pj bottom, this might be possibility. We’ll see (pun intended).
Regards therapy we’re too old for that. Our sex is great and can easily be happy with what we have. Besides, she’s a retired health care nurse and knows a lot about talking about issues.
Thanks again for the thoughts. From this and other threads I’ve picked up a lot of good info.
To be honest i am not sure what you expect from someone who’s nearly 80, we all get older and our bodies age, none of us are perfect.
You admit you’re as obese as her, so why not both exercise and diet together and encourage her by paying her compliments?
Some of your comments about her on here come across as cruel (especially her legs) i dread to think what you make her feel like if you’re as “honest” in her presence. You may not say what you think outright, but people can sense these things.
5 Likes
I feel so upset for your gf, the way you describe her to complete strangers is disgusting and I’m sure she would be so upset if she was to ever read what you think of her body.
6 Likes
I honestly do not think there is such a thing as being too old for therapy, there is always something to learn about ourselves.
I would perhaps question nature of the post and the complications around what you are looking to achieve? Especially considering what you are trying to access is between her legs, and that appears to be a ‘no go’ for both (I think @WillC and @JoCat have said what I feel around that. Even if not said directly, theres an energy, an awkwardness around things that are unsaid).
Maybe, on that basis though, why would trained and experienced counsellors go for counselling?
I should imagine her skills massively help in terms of talking openly with you, but there appears to be past trauma around her size. I say past, and then consider the comments around her legs, which could possibly be more recent, or at least reinforcing her beliefs and thoughts.
It would give you an incredible opportunity to explore whats going on for you too, and maybe understand more about yourself too.
2 Likes
I’ve been reading through this thread since it first popped up, and I’m actually really upset for your partner, especially with how you’ve described her, it’s really upsetting to read.
I think it’s important to remind you that you’re not entitled to seeing all of your partner, no matter how long you’ve been together. She’s clearly set boundaries on what she’s comfortable with you seeing. You don’t get to see it simply because you’d ‘really like to’.
If she doesn’t want to show you all of it, she doesn’t have to. You’re not entitled to seeing her body.
7 Likes
“GF won’t let me see her naked”
Not surprised…and from what you’ve posted and said are you?
4 Likes
I agree with the comments made here. Other than truly thinking I want to please her more I am being selfish at the same time and inconsiderate of her feelings.
Given 80 is not too far away for us, taking care of each other as we encounter increasing medical problems is paramount. In the whole scheme of things my desire is paltry.
I’m also realizing that from reminiscing about past relationships I’ve built this sort of composite image in my head of all the women in my life. But one simply can’t have it all in one partner. I know there are positive aspects of other men (not sexual) in her life that I don’t have but she’s smart enough to realize you can’t have everything you want in one person.
So, I’ll delete this thread if I can. Sorry for ever posting it and just dug myself in a deeper hole as it has gone on.
Again, the comments about me are deserving. I will keep them in mind.