I know I'm becoming a nuisance but

Inside Lovehoney
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More Newbie questions from "Ready to Play" aka "Newbie Who's Here to Irritate" who has more questions (and now an added critique.

I wanted to find a member whose little picture of a girl and her toy is cute but I couldn't remember what her name was. I posted and somebody gave me a link to her profile. All I want is to ask a simple question: where did you find that cartoon and are there more like that at the site?

I thought I'd be able to contact her if she refriended me and she did. But I still can't figure out how to get this question to her.

How can I do this?

After having been posting a bit I do have some thoughts: either I don't know how to use the features or this is not really a "forum" in the classic sense of the word.

With a forum you haves multiple axes of communications and discussions often with each other up and down the thread. It's very organic.

A Forum originally was the center marketplace in a Roman city. The place of markets, finance, etc.

The Disqus is an example of a structure that supports an online forum. Although obviously, since it's completely open it would not be a good choice as it would probably become overun with pervy men trying to hit on ladies. But the structure is great.

If I understand I can't be notified when someone posts. So they can't know when I may have answered their question or if no one is you have to keep going back to see if someone new has posted. It's tedious to keep having to go check a thread every time you want to know if there's been activitiy. If you go weeks without finding activity eventually you just quit checking. This must surely lead to some otherwise awesome threads dying.

The layout needs.to be.a nested structure where my response to someone drops right below who I'm responding to slightly indented. I respond to her she gets an email or text message notifying her with a link. She clicks on that link which takes her to a now new subthread one on one with me. She can respond to me and I get an email notifying me and I get taken back to the subthread and I can respond to her. Now we're actually having a discussion - something everyone can see and join or not.

Of course everyone can see this and so maybe someone responds both to me and her. This may be going on up and down the thread. Now we have a forum!

I wouldn't be such a bother about this but after having been here a couple of weeks I really think the Lovehoney Forum is a unique cyber spot where people can come and exchange info on sex toys, sex, and the quality of discussions is awesome. You have Pervs (all of us) but you don't have Preditors who drive away the folks who are needed for a vibrant lively respectful conversation that is going to be of any use to anyone other than some guy whose only intent is to get laid.

I really like that women get to feel safe here because then I actually get to hear what they have to say.

I give these last two paragraphs only to make the owners/staff know that the reason I'm bothering to say something negative is really because I think there's so much positive and its worth taking the bother to even think about it.

In the.meantime how can I pose my question to About Shades of Blue?

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Cor, War and Peace or what? That was a long post lol

But seriously, there is no direct chat option, it is just an open forum with multiple live threads.
If you want to contact someone directly the only way is to check their profile and see what threads they are currently posting on and post your question there, most people if they see a questio n to them will answer it, but you will have to check the thread.

There was a direct chat option many moons ago, but it was removed due to content I beleive, and I am sure it wont be coming back.

Hope this helps

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to see if someone has replied to your thread, click on the link from your profile. then you know which threads you replied to. after a while, people probably won;t reply to it anyway because it won;t be on the first few pages of the forum threads. I always just look back over the threads that have been answered since the start of the day.

You could literally just make a post entitled "Please can I ask forum member About Shades of Blue a question?" ?

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Great idea, so obvious I never thought of that, oops

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A way of knowing whether your thread has been responded to is that it will go to the top of the forum and be the first thread shown. Also it will say the most recent responders name.
I think it is more user friendly for the people that use it frequently. Like me. I check most threads that have been commented on so I would usually know if someone was writing to me directly. However people that don't use it as often wouldn't necessarily get the message so I do see you point.
That being said I would be heartbroken if the forum were to change! I love it just the way it is. And as you said it's wonderful as a woman to be able to discuss sex freely and safely. I think that is the most important thing and the forum is very successful in keeping to that.

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Just to add the person you are trying to contact has only ever made 7 posts so I'm afraid it does seem unlikely they will see your posts. Is there no other way you can find the pictures you are after?

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A direct OPEN chat feature or a direct CLOSED chat feature?

For the intent of this site CLOSED would be bad thing leading to your site being used eventually as a hookup site.

But an open chat capability fosters more openess and makes discussions dynamic, likely leading to more info, ideas and creativity for the users.

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It's not just that I'm after that picture. I want to get her sources and see if she might know a little more about how to get some of this genre of erotica.

I'm developing an interest but have little background. Thought she might help

But the funny thing is that it would be so easy to facilitate these kinds of exchanges between people and still have it such that they couldn't contact each other directly (which I think having read the rules is the intent of the current structure).

All you have to have is a "follower" function (which anyone can opt out of) post to do notification when she's posted. Then you're at an intersection where you can see each other and communicate if you wish. And it's in the open where all will see it thus maintaing the inability of the site to contact each other through the site.

Since the Lovehoney Forum is invitation only (if I understand correctly) you can easily control who's in and out and the inner dialogues are open but it is impossible to actually find someone through the site unless you're MI5 or CIA and into advanced coded messaging of some kind.

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Ready to Play, I get what you're saying, and mostly agree. The forum is a special cyber space, but has also very-very-very limited capabilities. Your analysis is spot on about threads dying just because going back to them becomes a nuisance, and I share the frustration about not being able to 'follow' or 'reply' or 'get notified' or even about the relatively uselessness of 'friending' someone. The way I see it there are lots and lots of functions that could be added to the forum to improve it, without including a much dreaded private or even public chat... 'Tagging' members and receiving direct notifications would be my top priorities.

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PS: the LH forum is not invitation only, only members can post and see pictures, but anyone (even non members) can see members' profiles and read all the threads and content. But the search functions (be it for members, or threads, or even the LH retailer site) are not quite properly functioning, if you ask me.

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This was an attempt to make a more lively and direct conversation amongst members... but it soon died too: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1292551-the-great-big-get-to-know-each-other/ - probably for the same reasons that you mentioned in your OP. :(

But you could try and revive it with your question if you want to.

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Does anyone know that if you google you can see what people are posting on this forum? I didn't until I stumbled across it!

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yeah the only thing that's private to members only is photos isn't it?

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Perhaps the great big suggestions thread is the best place to mention this?
I do feel the addition of direct chat (even if not private) would leave a lot more to be monitored and there is the possibility the quality of monitoring would decrease.
I do also think it would be a much less welcoming forum in that format.
I think it would be great if you could be emailed whenever someone 'quotes' your post though! As I do agree that it is very hard to contact someone directly x

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Use Google but search the actual image. May be less of a needle in a haystack. There is an actual search feature with a specific jpg etc.

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MysticalMayhem wrote:

The forum layout has come in to question a fair amount of times, and what people fail to realise that a forum runs with staff, moderators, techy people too. Lovehoney have one moderator at present and putting in any new features would mean more work for her.

She has content to deal with, forum moderation, approving and denying photos that get uploaded, and much much more. The other lady that works with testing and that side of things also has the power to moderate the forum but she's on maternity leave!

So if the forum were to change, it would need a whole re-structure which Lovehoney don't have the man power to do OR maintain. Unless they employ staff to do this, then the forum is most likely to stay as it is.

And most of us are happy with the current forum. It's not a hook-up site, it's a friendly community to ask questions and have a bit of fun or a rant and be ourselves without being judged. Most members that are regular here have Twitter accounts, but as I've found, there's no hooking up on there either, it's like an extended part of the forum!!

Anyway, as for the image you are looking at, it's like part of a meme or something. The only thing I can suggest, is search search search! Type in a discription of the picture in google image search and see what happens. For all we know the lady in question may have just stumbled upon that picture one day, there may not be a dedicated site to it.

I agree with the above really. If there was a chat side , I think it could get abused, probably not by the mature members but by possibly new members not grasping what the forum is all about .You only have to see the numbers of young single guys posting their introduction thread thinking it's a hook up site.

Yep if it's not broke don't fix it.

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Use google to reverse search the image?

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Personally I resent being called a perv; you may see yourself as one, but don't assume that others are just because of a common interest.

Oh and is anyone else finding this relentless pursuit a little ummm stalkerish?
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Hi I was me who linked you but after checking that's members profile they have only posted 7 times, so they obviously are not a frequent forumer or a silent one anyways. I know you did a thread asking but I'd guess the user hasn't seen it. I don't think LH intend to introduce chat for several reason which poor Jess has had to state a few times. I personally like the openness of this forum and would be against a chat option.

Sorry my friend but as mentioned above Google is probably your best bet.

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Hi Ready to Play

Welcome to the forum , and thank you for posting your feedback to us.

Unfortunately the chat option is something that will not be changing , we are a place for open discussions and anything said should be able to be said amongst all our members here :) 

We all have things we would change and would always help improve .. which is why we have this thread : http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/inside-lovehoney/251262-the-great-big-suggestions-thread/page-40/

Some people feel they like to share more information and link their accounts that may allow a more direct discussion , this is why we have this thread too: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/455270-kinky-twitter/

Please make sure you also follow the rules on personal information too ![yes|20x20](upload://lJMrTcqgi5lI1FOpb07OYOcv2YF.gif "yes")

The google suggestion sound good to locate the image , also have you tried posting on something Shades of Blue has been active on . The posts can be located on their page. 

Social media platforms can be a great way to locate something or a source too