Hello everyone,
I really find the idea of my wonderful Gf going out on the pull with her friends. Getting dressed up so she looks even more sexy, then flirting with and dancing with loads of guys. I'd basically love to see her acting really slutty!
Anyone else have the same thoughts/feelings?
1st post lol so be gentle
lol ignore the 1st one, mistake in it :-p great first post!
Hello everyone,
I really find the idea of my wonderful Gf going out on the pull with her friends incredibly horny. Getting dressed up so she looks even more sexy, then flirting with and dancing with loads of guys. I'd basically love to see her acting really slutty!
Anyone else have the same thoughts/feelings?
1st post lol so be gentle
Eeeerrr to some extent. I love when shes dresses up a little bit naughty with me there. I get to show off!. So I do like knowing shes being 'desired' but at the end of the night shes all mine!
I'm not comfortable with her doing it with her mates, not for any selfish insecure reasons ( I fully trust her) but because it attracts attention she doesnt want and I don't want her to feel pressured, upset, scared or anything else negative because shes recieved unwanted attention. The world can be a dangerous place and I don't want her in danger.
Thats fair enough :-) i wouldnt want my gf to do anything she didnt want to/felt uncomfortable doing either!
And the world can be an awesome place too ;-)
It can indeed!
See, im a tad different, Im a bit like WandA, and his ideas of his OH, i like dressing up, cause my OH is always calling me beautiful, so i feel if i dress up,and people are "desiring" me, and then i want him to feel like he can show off, and be pleased that i'm all his, but he just doesnt like me dressing up, as being with drunk guys dressed like that, from my experience causes ordinarily nice guys act like jerks,lol.
Also, what WandA said about feeling pressured and getting unwanted attention, is also something i'd personally be concerned about, had alot of bad experiences.
x x x
In responce to hedamora's comment, my boyfreind also likes the idea of me acting slutty with other guys. I have not as yet tried it but the idea sounds fun! I suppose in a sense having this sort of a fantasy means that you have alot of trust in your girlfreind. For example trusting that the guy that she has been acting a slut with will be left and forgotten at the end of the night. I must admit when my boyfreind first told me about his fantasy for this sort of thing i was a bit shocked, but what the hell its a bit of fun and us lucky ladies get to flirt with other men knowing we still get to go home to our boyfriends and have given them an amazing time.
xxx
i think it a bad idea and could back fire on both of you.
nuffin wrong with getting dressed up and going out and having fun, the only person that should be the attention of your flirting is your boyfriend, do this often enough by flirting with other guys and u'll be labelled a prick teaser and slut.
then, what happens at the end of the night and you have been flirting with a guy who has been giving u loads of attention and buying u drinks etc and then when it is time to leave you dump him and he see's u walking out with ya fella, booze + jealousy = a fight
and also what happens if the guy u have been flirting with turns out to be a bigger adonis that your boyfriend, whats saying u dump ya fella and hook up with the adonis instead.
recipe for disaster either way, if u love your fella or girlfriend then tsick with them of u'll get your fingers burnt
dai
dai wrote:
i think it a bad idea and could back fire on both of you.
nuffin wrong with getting dressed up and going out and having fun, the only person that should be the attention of your flirting is your boyfriend, do this often enough by flirting with other guys and u'll be labelled a prick teaser and slut.
then, what happens at the end of the night and you have been flirting with a guy who has been giving u loads of attention and buying u drinks etc and then when it is time to leave you dump him and he see's u walking out with ya fella, booze + jealousy = a fight
and also what happens if the guy u have been flirting with turns out to be a bigger adonis that your boyfriend, whats saying u dump ya fella and hook up with the adonis instead.
recipe for disaster either way, if u love your fella or girlfriend then tsick with them of u'll get your fingers burnt External Media
dai
Hmmm a few things;
"nuffin wrong with getting dressed up and going out and having fun, the only person that should be the attention of your flirting is your boyfriend, do this often enough by flirting with other guys and u'll be labelled a prick teaser and slut."
Surely the only people who can decide who she should be flirting with are her and her partner? While it may not be acceptable to you in your relationships, bear in mind that every relationship has it's own boundaries and they can only be set by the couple - if they are both secure and comfortable then it is no on else's business. Not everyone subscribes to the same relationship 'formula'
Secondly, this whole 'labelling' thing makes me sad. What year are we living in people? I decided a long time ago to stop worrying about that. I am responsible for my own happiness, I will not let it be dictated by others ignorance and bigotry. I am aware that people do and will judge - but I refuse to be governed by it as it is sexist and outdated. I know that my sexual choices are mine and mine alone - it is not me in the wrong, but those so concerned with other people business that they are wasting their own lives away.
(Before anyone also judges me - I am actually in a monogamous relationship and marrying next year - before that I was in a monogamous nine year relationship so I don't say these things in some kind of 'self defence' - not that I'd need to defend my actions if my circumstances were different.)
"then, what happens at the end of the night and you have been flirting with a guy who has been giving u loads of attention and buying u drinks etc and then when it is time to leave you dump him and he see's u walking out with ya fella, booze + jealousy = a fight"
Now I do agree with this in part - more because I do not believe it fair to mess other people around for the sake of your own sex games, without their understanding of what's happening and consent. You also need to be safety-aware. It isn't right that men - drunk or otherwise - feel they can 'expect' sex in return for an evenings conversation/dancing/few drinks. But the fact is, some do - not all, the vast majority of men are decent, fun people. There will always be a few jerks though. Ditto women - I'm not man-bashing (as it happens I'm rather fond of them! External Media)
There are ways to deal with this though - be sensible and fair. EG: Agree it's OK for men to look, even a little 'fun' flirting etc and talk, but flirting with intent is off-limits and agree to politely turn down drinks and 'own up' to being with someone. (yes a fella might still 'kick off' but as this is pretty normal behaviour it could happen anytime if the bloke is a big enough wank-stain) Basically, using common sense and using your head while being fair on others reduces the risks. I've been out plenty of times in the past, not encouraging a guy at all and he's got shirty - some people always will regardless of what you do.
"and also what happens if the guy u have been flirting with turns out to be a bigger adonis that your boyfriend, whats saying u dump ya fella and hook up with the adonis instead."
Hang on! Just because a couple likes the thrill of flirting or involving others does not mean they are more likely to cheat or run off with someone else. It is usually the thrill of being desired and some extent of exhibitionist tendencies - not the same as wanting to cheat.
If they have a good trusting relationship why assume this would be an issue? Maybe you or someone you know has had a bad experience but please do not judge everyone else by that standard.
Ultimately, if she is going to go off with someone else then she will do so anyway, game-playing or not. It is the people involved that cause these situation that cause these problems not the games. A faithful loving person wouldn't cheat or leave any more in this situation as they would on a normal night out.
"recipe for disaster either way, if u love your fella or girlfriend then tsick with them of u'll get your fingers burnt"
True, some do. As do some people who don't play these games. As do some that stay in all the time. It might surprise you to know just how many people do things like this all the time with no ill-effects.
Yes, you need to talk it through lots and be careful but if you both like the idea there ARE ways to be safe.
I'm just saying, there is no one 'right' way to have a relationship. There's a whole world of stuff out there that may surprise you, but those involved are perfectly happy.
Hedamora wrote:
I really find the idea of my wonderful Gf going out on the pull with her friends incredibly horny. Getting dressed up so she looks even more sexy, then flirting with and dancing with loads of guys. I'd basically love to see her acting really slutty!
Anyone else have the same thoughts/feelings?
Is this anything like your fantasy?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold#Cuckoldry_as_a_fetish
bigbrownblowjobeyes wrote:
dai wrote:
i think it a bad idea and could back fire on both of you.
nuffin wrong with getting dressed up and going out and having fun, the only person that should be the attention of your flirting is your boyfriend, do this often enough by flirting with other guys and u'll be labelled a prick teaser and slut.
then, what happens at the end of the night and you have been flirting with a guy who has been giving u loads of attention and buying u drinks etc and then when it is time to leave you dump him and he see's u walking out with ya fella, booze + jealousy = a fight
and also what happens if the guy u have been flirting with turns out to be a bigger adonis that your boyfriend, whats saying u dump ya fella and hook up with the adonis instead.
recipe for disaster either way, if u love your fella or girlfriend then tsick with them of u'll get your fingers burnt External Media
dai
Hmmm a few things;
"nuffin wrong with getting dressed up and going out and having fun, the only person that should be the attention of your flirting is your boyfriend, do this often enough by flirting with other guys and u'll be labelled a prick teaser and slut."
Surely the only people who can decide who she should be flirting with are her and her partner? While it may not be acceptable to you in your relationships, bear in mind that every relationship has it's own boundaries and they can only be set by the couple - if they are both secure and comfortable then it is no on else's business. Not everyone subscribes to the same relationship 'formula'
Secondly, this whole 'labelling' thing makes me sad. What year are we living in people? I decided a long time ago to stop worrying about that. I am responsible for my own happiness, I will not let it be dictated by others ignorance and bigotry. I am aware that people do and will judge - but I refuse to be governed by it as it is sexist and outdated. I know that my sexual choices are mine and mine alone - it is not me in the wrong, but those so concerned with other people business that they are wasting their own lives away.
(Before anyone also judges me - I am actually in a monogamous relationship and marrying next year - before that I was in a monogamous nine year relationship so I don't say these things in some kind of 'self defence' - not that I'd need to defend my actions if my circumstances were different.)
"then, what happens at the end of the night and you have been flirting with a guy who has been giving u loads of attention and buying u drinks etc and then when it is time to leave you dump him and he see's u walking out with ya fella, booze + jealousy = a fight"
Now I do agree with this in part - more because I do not believe it fair to mess other people around for the sake of your own sex games, without their understanding of what's happening and consent. You also need to be safety-aware. It isn't right that men - drunk or otherwise - feel they can 'expect' sex in return for an evenings conversation/dancing/few drinks. But the fact is, some do - not all, the vast majority of men are decent, fun people. There will always be a few jerks though. Ditto women - I'm not man-bashing (as it happens I'm rather fond of them! External Media)
There are ways to deal with this though - be sensible and fair. EG: Agree it's OK for men to look, even a little 'fun' flirting etc and talk, but flirting with intent is off-limits and agree to politely turn down drinks and 'own up' to being with someone. (yes a fella might still 'kick off' but as this is pretty normal behaviour it could happen anytime if the bloke is a big enough wank-stain) Basically, using common sense and using your head while being fair on others reduces the risks. I've been out plenty of times in the past, not encouraging a guy at all and he's got shirty - some people always will regardless of what you do.
"and also what happens if the guy u have been flirting with turns out to be a bigger adonis that your boyfriend, whats saying u dump ya fella and hook up with the adonis instead."
Hang on! Just because a couple likes the thrill of flirting or involving others does not mean they are more likely to cheat or run off with someone else. It is usually the thrill of being desired and some extent of exhibitionist tendencies - not the same as wanting to cheat.
If they have a good trusting relationship why assume this would be an issue? Maybe you or someone you know has had a bad experience but please do not judge everyone else by that standard.
Ultimately, if she is going to go off with someone else then she will do so anyway, game-playing or not. It is the people involved that cause these situation that cause these problems not the games. A faithful loving person wouldn't cheat or leave any more in this situation as they would on a normal night out.
"recipe for disaster either way, if u love your fella or girlfriend then tsick with them of u'll get your fingers burnt"
True, some do. As do some people who don't play these games. As do some that stay in all the time. It might surprise you to know just how many people do things like this all the time with no ill-effects.
Yes, you need to talk it through lots and be careful but if you both like the idea there ARE ways to be safe.
I'm just saying, there is no one 'right' way to have a relationship. There's a whole world of stuff out there that may surprise you, but those involved are perfectly happy.
i take that as a personal dig at me, it is a discussion forum and i have just pointed out a few of the down sides of what could happen, i am not saying it will, just trying to point out that certain 'rules' as such should be established before things do go tits up and the wrong outcome happens.
anyone else wanna digwhile they are at it External Media
Ah I should have known...
Yes I disagreed with what you wrote - I also agreed on some points if you read it right. Because there was no leeway, it was 'it WILL only be this way' Which simply is not true! It is not a dig at you, but you have to accept that on a public forum you will not always agree with other people - what is the point of a discussion that only reflects one side?
Certain point you make could be taken as a dig at those girls involved in this kind of play - you made them/us sound like right 'sluts' (your word) for not conforming to your kind of ideas.
I've nothing against you - I just didn't think all of what you wrote was true or fair. I totally respect that it is your opinion, but that does not mean I cannot disagree with it.
I've no issue with you, promise.
Read my other posts, I don't so personal attacks thanks.
Also I only used the direct quotes to break-up the reply - it was a very long post and I was trying to make it clear and readable.
If I could be bothered I'd type a long response, so instead I'll say "What BBBJE said! "
Dai I don't think you should take it as a personal dig, I think the extended response comes as a part of the discussion that you were involved in and also a response to what seems to be a definative statement. You can't make strong statements like those mentioned and not expect people to counter them.
ok, i wasnt labelling anyone or any body, perhaps the context i put my points across was wrong but i was trying to name some of the bad things that could happen, if i had put the plus sides aswell i would have been here all day.
guess we'll agree to disagree
Lubyanka wrote:
Hedamora wrote:
I really find the idea of my wonderful Gf going out on the pull with her friends incredibly horny. Getting dressed up so she looks even more sexy, then flirting with and dancing with loads of guys. I'd basically love to see her acting really slutty!
Anyone else have the same thoughts/feelings?
Is this anything like your fantasy?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold#Cuckoldry_as_a_fetish
I was just wondering if anyone had tried cuckolding?
My boyfreind is into it and i was wondering what people thought of it?
xx
dai wrote:
ok, i wasnt labelling anyone or any body, perhaps the context i put my points across was wrong but i was trying to name some of the bad things that could happen, if i had put the plus sides aswell i would have been here all day.
To express points respectfully, it isn't necessary to present all sides. What works in my experience is to express opinions as opinions with "I think" or "I feel" or "I find" or "In my experience" in front of them, instead of as categorical facts. Even if you feel your opinions strongly, they are still just your opinions, and others may have different ones because their experience may differ to yours.
In my experience expressing opinions clearly as opinions is much more respectful than expressing them as fact when they aren't. This is a problem I've come across a lot, and I know it isn't easy to modify word choices, but again in my experience I think the beneficial results make the effort to do so worth doing. :)
Oh, and I also agree with what BBBJE said. :)
Lubyanka wrote:
dai wrote:
ok, i wasnt labelling anyone or any body, perhaps the context i put my points across was wrong but i was trying to name some of the bad things that could happen, if i had put the plus sides aswell i would have been here all day.
To express points respectfully, it isn't necessary to present all sides. What works in my experience is to express opinions as opinions with "I think" or "I feel" or "I find" or "In my experience" in front of them, instead of as categorical facts. Even if you feel your opinions strongly, they are still just your opinions, and others may have different ones because their experience may differ to yours.
In my experience expressing opinions clearly as opinions is much more respectful than expressing them as fact when they aren't. This is a problem I've come across a lot, and I know it isn't easy to modify word choices, but again in my experience I think the beneficial results make the effort to do so worth doing. :)
i'm a lorry driver ffs, i might not be as literate as some of you, i might not have the correct aires and graces to adopt the correct internet etiquet, if i was blunt and not as diplomatic as some then its a bit late in my life now to start worrying about things like that.External Media
dai wrote:
Lubyanka wrote:
In my experience expressing opinions clearly as opinions is much more respectful than expressing them as fact when they aren't. This is a problem I've come across a lot, and I know it isn't easy to modify word choices, but again in my experience I think the beneficial results make the effort to do so worth doing. :)
i'm a lorry driver ffs, i might not be as literate as some of you, i might not have the correct aires and graces to adopt the correct internet etiquet, if i was blunt and not as diplomatic as some then its a bit late in my life now to start worrying about things like that.External Media
Well, I suppose you can decline to try to behave respectfully and blame us for objecting, or you can try and we can help you.
I don't know where you got from anything we said here that literacy, airs, graces, or etiquette were required. As far as I can tell we were talking about human beings behaving respectfully with each other, but if that isn't important to you then so be it.
I've known lorry drivers who were respectful, and I have also known lorry drivers who were jerks. I disagree that this is an issue related to profession.
