I want to give my boyfriend his fantasy...

Sex Tips & Talk
1

So I wonder if anyone can help...

My boyfriend and I are trying to wake up our sex life and try new things as its got a bit dull recently.

I called him and asked him to tell me his fantasy, what he wanted me to do to him etc and he said he wanted me to be in charge, to hurt him / punish etc -

I have bought a cock ring and a butt plug - I want to try new things because I think it will suprise him but I am very new to the other stuff and don't know where to start with a dominating or in charge role. Its the talking that I'm nervous about.

Any ideas? I want to give him the time of his life.

Thanks!

2

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16308

This is a really good beginning kit for a small price...... Might help. :)

3

There's some good tips in here. .. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/767180-sub-dom-relationship

4

add this to WT and you have a great night of hurting him and a way to punish him if he does not comply

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28270

5

Have you tried some nipple/anal play, spanking, biting etc? That's always a good place to start.

I personally like this, http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28270 as it can be used gently as well as to cause pain, so you can both enjoy it and discover how much pain you're comfortable with.

For nipples, you can try something like http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=24237 Always start with adjustable ones until you figure out what pain/pressure works best for you.

Or you can always go for a beginner's kit like this one
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25727 which is on sale just now

I'd recommend looking at Lovehoney's bondage guides to give you an idea of where to start (:

6

+1 biting... it is free, intimate, and can be playful or painful (your call)

Best thing I can tell you is don't be nervous (have a safe word); confidence is part of what he is looking for

7

Thanks so much - So much stuff out there. Is it still possible to be dominate and not aggressive? I'm not aggresi ve in my nature and he is usually the one taking care of me - it makes sense why this would be a turn on for him...

8

No no no, don't be agressive..... just be yourself.... but tie him to the bed.....

You don't even need to be hard/physical.... just let me moan and groan and plead and don't do what he says! :)

9

WT is right, you don't have to be agressive. Always be yourself and just do what comes to mind. Take charge, that's all.

10

There are many different ways to do this none is more right than any other. Here's something we play out quite often...
Mistress sets me jobs and tasks to do, we do this all the time and she marks how well I've done on my tasks any poor performance gets marked in my punishment book.
Every so often we will Have a 24/7 D/s session (family and work prevents it being more frequent).
Here she will dress smart hair up high heels so she is taller than me. (I always hope it's wet look)
These sessions will start with more tasks and assessments then I will have my punishments from the punishments book this usually involves cane/whip/crop/flogging/other hitty things
Sometimes I have to beg to be punished other times beg for her to stop and sometimes I'm not allowed to make any noise. We use blindfolds cuffs bars bondage tape gags earplugs etc etc.

Once punishment is over then I must earn my redemption by satisfying Mistress' every and any need. And if I do well enough then I will have a reward. Sometimes the reward is an orgasm sometimes it's that I'm allowed to caress her bum or boobs for 3 minutes say or i've been rewarded by being allowed to give her an all over massage.

she is very creative in all the above and no 2 sessions are ever the same

It's probably a good idea to have a decent conversation with him and find out what kind of things he has in mind. We agreed on names I must call her Mistress or Goddess she calls me whatever she wants but not my real name. She has a list of things i will in no way be comfortable with including blood and scat. We have a safe word which means absolutely stop now. We have an agreed method of letting me know when she is has switched back into wife mode and we always debrief afterwards.

I think the key us communication and imagination really.

Domination and submission is different everyone and you just need to find out what it means to you :)


Oohhhh and have fun :)

11

You could demand he do certain things to you? Adds some dominance. That's usually what my domination starts with. I 'top' him too and lightly spank and rub his backend

12

Thanks all! really helpful

13

Hi bellebopeep, make kneel in the middle of the bed, tie his wrists to his knees so his ass is up and for you to play with. Put on his nipple clamps or clothes pegs will do. Add a couple to his ball bag and flick them a few times. Then milk his prostate see how much he likes that. Enjoy

14

this is on a great of at the monent...

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/special-offers/2679/

if you guys havent dne anal pay before, be careful with butt plugs etc - these things take time to build up to.

the other side of it is to concentrate on you - have you got an outfit or boots or something like that?

15

I know that a script sometimes isn't ideal, however knowing what you are going to say and practising this before hand in a mirror in some very sexy heels will help you to gain more confidence in yourself.

'My name today is Mistress Bella. You are not to speak unless spoken to. Under no circumstances are you to cum without my permission. If you disobey me you will be punished. The safeword is ........... .Now stand still so that I can look at you'. (Make your own safeword)

Cuff his hands behind his back, stroke him lightly and maybe some light kisses whilst moving arond him.

Ask him questions. If he gets it wrong then slap him lightly (or a little harder if he wants it)

'What is my name?' 'What is your safe-word?' 'How do I look?' 'Do you want me to touch you?' 'Would you like me to have sex with you?' 'What do you want me to do with you?'

He must answer 'Yes Mistress', 'No Mistress', and please and thank you.

Treat him if he answers well.

You don't have to be aggressive, just confident. Even if you don't feel it, you can act it. You can go in to blindfolds and cuffs, spankers and whips, but it is you that he wants. A sexy outfit, good shoes, sexy lipstick.

Get in to the mind set of 'He is here to please me, I don't care if he enjoys it or not'. Of course taking the control away, and some light punishment is what he will enjoy.

Also, make sure you sit down and talk about it afterwards, discussing any issues, bad points, good points etc. Just have fun. And remember you can always laugh about it.

16

that is something i havent thought about is what to wear? i dont want to look ott.

Gg I Like the idea of tying him up in the middle of the bed. he'd like that

17

jessybunny SO useful. Thankyou ! x

18

bellabopeep wrote:

that is something i havent thought about is what to wear? i dont want to look ott.

OMG this is so hot would love my Mistress to wear this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26213
19

Sum Sub wrote:

bellabopeep wrote:

that is something i havent thought about is what to wear? i dont want to look ott.

OMG this is so hot would love my Mistress to wear this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26213

Wow Subby that is awesome

20

Gentle giant wrote:

Sum Sub wrote:

bellabopeep wrote:

that is something i havent thought about is what to wear? i dont want to look ott.

OMG this is so hot would love my Mistress to wear this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26213

Wow Subby that is awesome

Wet-look isn't usually my cup of tea, but that does look good.

Though now, I've been looking through the wet-look stuff, and came across this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26778 (There's also a teddy in the same style http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26780 )

Really, I would recommend something that you think is sexy and that you think you look good in - that'll help with the confidence part, when you know you're looking irresistable.

Clothing can also be introduced into the dynamic, depending on what you want to do, as a potential way to show your dominance is having you clothed and your partner naked. You could tell him to strip and, if he takes too long, you can punish him in some way - whether that'd be a smack or denial of some sort.