As the title suggests, is there someone in your vicinity that you have seen (or know personally) that you would gladly like to spend a little "time" with (no names please).
Do you stare at them on the quiet? do you catch them looking at you? Do you fantasize what you would say to them and what you would do?
Its just human nature being attracted to other people so hopefully this will be an interesting thread.
I must be weird then, i need to know someone very well to develop sexual attraction, and love them to want to do anything sexual.
Sure i can see really good looking people, but it just doesn't register to me as wanting to sleep with them or do anything physical, unless i get to know them and fall for them as a person.
VirginAngel wrote:
I must be weird then, i need to know someone very well to develop sexual attraction, and love them to want to do anything sexual.
Sure i can see really good looking people, but it just doesn't register to me as wanting to sleep with them or do anything physical, unless i get to know them and fall for them as a person.
Same, I'm actually physically atracted to very few people
I can see where you are coming from girls as I believe that ladies take more time to look at a man sexually, whereas men are more an instant visual I would 👍 sort of creature when it comes to attraction. In answer to the first question, yes I find many people sexually attractive but have always prided myself in the fact that I have never been unfaithful in any relationship I have had the privilege of being in.AmyA wrote:
VirginAngel wrote:
I must be weird then, i need to know someone very well to develop sexual attraction, and love them to want to do anything sexual.
Sure i can see really good looking people, but it just doesn't register to me as wanting to sleep with them or do anything physical, unless i get to know them and fall for them as a person.
Same, I'm actually physically atracted to very few people
Yep, actually happened just today. Someone I've spoken to before (randomly in the vets of all places) I got to see briefly for a moment today today and I kinda have that "hmmm what if" thoughts but maybe not overtly sexual but more of a "what if I got the chance to know him more... which could lead to xyz".
I think women do need to know someone at least a little bit to be able to think that way about them, though of course some celebs are on the instant fantasy list without having to know them in person.
Bennyboy69 wrote:
I can see where you are coming from girls as I believe that ladies take more time to look at a man sexually, whereas men are more an instant visual I would 👍 sort of creature when it comes to attraction. In answer to the first question, yes I find many people sexually attractive but have always prided myself in the fact that I have never been unfaithful in any relationship I have had the privilege of being in.AmyA wrote:
VirginAngel wrote:
I must be weird then, i need to know someone very well to develop sexual attraction, and love them to want to do anything sexual.
Sure i can see really good looking people, but it just doesn't register to me as wanting to sleep with them or do anything physical, unless i get to know them and fall for them as a person.
Same, I'm actually physically atracted to very few people
I'm not even sure, for me, if it is even a case of needing to get to know them. I have never had a sexual attraction develop as I get to know someone, if I don't find someone physically attractive I just can't imagine getting down to it with them (and as I say I don't actually find myself physically attracted to many). Has anyone become more physically attractive to me once I have got to know them? I don't think they have, that's not to say I don't love them but I just can't imagine anything physical. Maybe I'm somewhat asexual or perhaps just shallow 🤷♀️Or just weird is a popular option!
Bennyboy69 wrote:
I can see where you are coming from girls as I believe that ladies take more time to look at a man sexually, whereas men are more an instant visual I would 👍 sort of creature when it comes to attraction. In answer to the first question, yes I find many people sexually attractive but have always prided myself in the fact that I have never been unfaithful in any relationship I have had the privilege of being in.AmyA wrote:
VirginAngel wrote:
I must be weird then, i need to know someone very well to develop sexual attraction, and love them to want to do anything sexual.
Sure i can see really good looking people, but it just doesn't register to me as wanting to sleep with them or do anything physical, unless i get to know them and fall for them as a person.
Same, I'm actually physically atracted to very few people
I'm afraid you can't speak for all men. You may well be an instant visual sort, but lots of men aren't. My husband needs to know someone very well before he could even think of shagging them.
KinkyMira wrote:
Bennyboy69 wrote:
I can see where you are coming from girls as I believe that ladies take more time to look at a man sexually, whereas men are more an instant visual I would 👍 sort of creature when it comes to attraction. In answer to the first question, yes I find many people sexually attractive but have always prided myself in the fact that I have never been unfaithful in any relationship I have had the privilege of being in.AmyA wrote:
VirginAngel wrote:
I must be weird then, i need to know someone very well to develop sexual attraction, and love them to want to do anything sexual.
Sure i can see really good looking people, but it just doesn't register to me as wanting to sleep with them or do anything physical, unless i get to know them and fall for them as a person.
Same, I'm actually physically atracted to very few people
I'm afraid you can't speak for all men. You may well be an instant visual sort, but lots of men aren't. My husband needs to know someone very well before he could even think of shagging them.
I can concurr with KinkyMira here .
For me there is a very big difference to say have a flirty encounter with somebody and the want to go to bed with them .
However on the subject there is a lady about 3 doors away who has taken a shine to me. But thats were it ends as she is happily married and so am I . I think one can certainly like someone without taking it further .
No not really when I’m with someone my focus is on them not other people
Next door have got quite a sexy window cleaner! I have often daydreamed about an encounter with him when I've noticed him there on his ladder but daydreaming is as far as I'd ever go.
Yes my mind certainly wanders to think about what I might do if I wasn't married .
AmyA wrote:
Bennyboy69 wrote:
I can see where you are coming from girls as I believe that ladies take more time to look at a man sexually, whereas men are more an instant visual I would 👍 sort of creature when it comes to attraction. In answer to the first question, yes I find many people sexually attractive but have always prided myself in the fact that I have never been unfaithful in any relationship I have had the privilege of being in.AmyA wrote:
VirginAngel wrote:
I must be weird then, i need to know someone very well to develop sexual attraction, and love them to want to do anything sexual.
Sure i can see really good looking people, but it just doesn't register to me as wanting to sleep with them or do anything physical, unless i get to know them and fall for them as a person.
Same, I'm actually physically atracted to very few people
I'm not even sure, for me, if it is even a case of needing to get to know them. I have never had a sexual attraction develop as I get to know someone, if I don't find someone physically attractive I just can't imagine getting down to it with them (and as I say I don't actually find myself physically attracted to many). Has anyone become more physically attractive to me once I have got to know them? I don't think they have, that's not to say I don't love them but I just can't imagine anything physical. Maybe I'm somewhat asexual or perhaps just shallow 🤷♀️Or just weird is a popular option!
For those who need an emotional connection with a pertner before sexual attraction can occur successfully, that would be described as Demisexual.
If sexual attraction happens very rarely or under very specific circumstances that could be described as Gray Asexuality.
Bennyboy69 wrote:
I can see where you are coming from girls as I believe that ladies take more time to look at a man sexually, whereas men are more an instant visual I would 👍 sort of creature when it comes to attraction. In answer to the first question, yes I find many people sexually attractive but have always prided myself in the fact that I have never been unfaithful in any relationship I have had the privilege of being in.AmyA wrote:
VirginAngel wrote:
I must be weird then, i need to know someone very well to develop sexual attraction, and love them to want to do anything sexual.
Sure i can see really good looking people, but it just doesn't register to me as wanting to sleep with them or do anything physical, unless i get to know them and fall for them as a person.
Same, I'm actually physically atracted to very few people
Sexuality and gender are two different things, you can't generalise how affection occurs between different genders. Stereotypes exist because of sitcoms, very few people actually fit into those stereotypes, they just happened to be funny some point long ago in the past on TV, whereas now they are often just considered lazy writing.
Mmmm I appear to have upset some people on here with my original post?
Let me know if you are one of the people?
To elaborate on the original post in saying men are more visually stimulated than women, would you agree that the countless millions invested and spent on fashion, lingerie and makeup are a twofold in one making the person buying them feel good and to stimulate the visual sense in someone of the opposite sex, as most money is spent on female items of the aforementioned items then it is fair to say that it is to stimulate mens visionary senses or am I completely wrong.
I am not saying because you use or were these things then you should be subject to any unwanted attention just in case anyone thinks that I think women are just to be sexualised for the pleasure of men.
To really get what I am about please read my profile page.
Bennyboy69
Yes, being single/unattached I find that I get sexually attracted to a lot of men, though I usually focus on one at a time. There is a certain someone who has just joined my pub quiz team who I would be VERY interested in spending some alone time with.
Bennyboy69 wrote:
Mmmm I appear to have upset some people on here with my original post?
Let me know if you are one of the people?To elaborate on the original post in saying men are more visually stimulated than women, would you agree that the countless millions invested and spent on fashion, lingerie and makeup are a twofold in one making the person buying them feel good and to stimulate the visual sense in someone of the opposite sex, as most money is spent on female items of the aforementioned items then it is fair to say that it is to stimulate mens visionary senses or am I completely wrong.
I am not saying because you use or were these things then you should be subject to any unwanted attention just in case anyone thinks that I think women are just to be sexualised for the pleasure of men.
To really get what I am about please read my profile page.
Bennyboy69
I dont think you have upset anyone . Perhaps just different views which is what a forum is all about.
IMO I would say looking good makes you feel good regardless of the gender. It can also act as a confidence booster especially if you get complimented in the process .
My view on your second part ie. to get dressed as a visual impact for the opposite sex. Well to be honest in my younger days I was perhaps niave enough to think that. But now I think its for his/her partner's benefit and not for anyone else.
And Yes if you look good you will get some unwanted attention . I can certainly testify to that . Its how you handle that unwanted attention .And to be honest until recently I havnt been handling it to well . But I am getting better.
Hi Alicia, whilst I agree I am not the most open and affectionate person its something I have been working on and I am affectionate when I am 'interested'. By the same token I wouldn't say I am unfriendly or cold towards anyone just because I don't 'fancy' them, at least I don't think I am, I am just as keen to develop friendships as romantic relationships, yet I am never going to type of person to be touchy feely with friends. What I'm saying is I'm giving off strong enough not interested vibes to make anyone think I don't want to be friends.
I would say though that having anxiety makes nearly all interactions intimidating, I have got better but I'm sure at times in the past my nervousness and shyness (believe it or not!) could have been mistaken for cold indifference. As I say, that's a work in progress!
I would have to say no. Of course i can acknowledge that someone is acctractive, but i am comfortable enough to admit that with bith genders. Do i stare? Hell no, i would be worried of them or anyone else seeing that and thinking i was creepy. Would i spend time with them if i could? Fudge no, i have a wife and 3 kids nothing is worth risking that.
I find that my main attraction to people is on a personality/ deeper connection. It's not a sexual attraction but a loyality and emotional one.
Sorry should have said NOT giving off a strong enough not interested vibe to make them think etc etc...
My focus is solely on my partner when I’m
With someone, I kind of switch off from sexual attraction to others. In the past I have had a few friends who I was deeply connected to and would have loved to maybe been more than friends in the past but things change and people change. I must be the odd one out as a man here as I need to be mentally attached and have some form of connection before I even consider a cuddle, I don’t even flirt with someone when I’m single unless we have a history or were extremely close friends.
KinkyMira wrote:
Bennyboy69 wrote:
I can see where you are coming from girls as I believe that ladies take more time to look at a man sexually, whereas men are more an instant visual I would 👍 sort of creature when it comes to attraction. In answer to the first question, yes I find many people sexually attractive but have always prided myself in the fact that I have never been unfaithful in any relationship I have had the privilege of being in.AmyA wrote:
VirginAngel wrote:
I must be weird then, i need to know someone very well to develop sexual attraction, and love them to want to do anything sexual.
Sure i can see really good looking people, but it just doesn't register to me as wanting to sleep with them or do anything physical, unless i get to know them and fall for them as a person.
Same, I'm actually physically atracted to very few people
I'm afraid you can't speak for all men. You may well be an instant visual sort, but lots of men aren't. My husband needs to know someone very well before he could even think of shagging them.
I’m the same although there may be an attraction getting sexually involved is way down the. I have to know them and trust them. With big issues will sexual abuse in my past It takes time for me to trust.