CockneyCutie wrote:
However, I don't know if it's his size and technique, or the condoms and/or lube, but my little ladyflower isn't happy after our sessions. I've had bladder infections twice as well as thrush, and am generally quite sore after and it's only been a month! [...] We're not at the stage where we can forgo the condoms yet, so any advice would be appreciated!!
Hello CockneyCutie and welcome to the forums! :)
Women have a very short urethra which is located very near to the anus. This means that cross infection of bacteria from the anus can easily make their way to the urethra, and the urethra isn't long enough to stop the bacteria making their way along it to infect the bladder. Those infections as well as thrush are much more likely to be troublesome if the surrounding tissues are stressed as you say yours are after intimacy.
Men have a much longer urethra which is located miles away from their anus. This is why they don't experience these conditions anywhere near so often as women.
In my experience, there are two basic things you can do to significantly reduce these problems -
1. Hygiene - To prevent organisms from travelling between your anus and urethra, both you and your partner must scrupulously wash your hands and your genitals both before and after sex. I know it's a pain, but in my opinion it's a lot easier and nicer than dealing with cystitis and thrush over and over and over again. Also your partner may be carrying thrush without realising it and repeatedly passing it to you even if you use a condom, so he should at least get this checked, and treated if necessary. And if there is any contact with your anus, then you must both stop and wash again before continuing with vaginal penetration. Believe me, your anus and urethra are so close together, the least little thing can set this off, so careful hygiene is absolutely crucial if you want to prevent these issues.
2. Respect Your Genitals Gently - You must tell your partner the moment sex starts to become sore, and he must withdraw immediately and stay out for the rest of the session. If he cannot orgasm in the time before you become sore, then you can give him an orgasm with your hands or mouth or thighs or in bunches of other ways. Your genitals can most easily remain healthy if they are respected and treated with care. Sex is supposed to be fun, and there are so many ways to enjoy sex without soreness that it seems silly to be sore when there are so many pleasurable alternatives. He can also learn to penetrate you more gently so that he can go on for longer without causing any soreness. But the most important thing is for you to communicate your soreness to him and to revoke his freedom of your vagina for the rest of that session. I suggest that you discuss this with him before you next have sex. Better then than in the middle when he won't know what's happening.
I've had loads of bladder infections and thrush and they really do suck fat sweaty hairy smelly donkey balls. They are relatively straightforward to prevent, but both of you need to take the proper care to prevent them. Your sex life sounds really enjoyable and I hope your lover is considerate enough to make the necessary adjustments, but he can't if you don't tell him what you need.
Good luck. :)
