So I had been talking to a guy for 8 months, we hadn’t met up and eventually things ended because we were finding it so difficult to meet up. I was told a few weeks ago he’s got a new girlfriend. But I saw him yesterday! I was visiting my friend and we got stranded and he was the only person who could come and get us (not that he knew I was visiting he got bit of a shock but played it cool). I thought it would be awkward but there I was sat in the back of his car with him and our mate chatting away, singing the same songs and he kept laughing at what I was saying, he kept looking in his mirror at me and smiling (our mate kept telling him off for not watching the road and our mate said this is NOT like him at all he‘s not even like this with the girlfriend.) he had a full on beard (gross! Sorry guys it’s a turn off for me) later he messaged and said how great it was to meet me and was it weird and on his 3rd message to me he was telling me how cute and beautiful I looked. I said despite his beard he looked pretty good too. A little while later he sends me a photo… he completely shaved it off saying he’d done it for me. Now from what our friend said him, the guys family and everyone else had been telling him for weeks to shave it but he was determined to grow it longer. We haven’t stopped talking since and he keeps sending a tonne of kisses and hearts (he never used to send me hearts or THAT many kisses in one conversation) I thought he’d wake up and regret it but nope he’s still talking, still sending kisses (which he didn’t do when we were just being friends, like not a single one, now he‘s sending like up to a dozen kisses and several hearts) while we were talking it was like old times and he said to me “Miss you so much now, what are you doing to me?!” and he kept saying how surreal and amazing it felt to actually meet me. He even told his friends and asked them to pose for a photo just for me! He mentioned once or twice he was being naughty and had messed me around and shouldn’t be messaging me to which I told him it was fine if I thought otherwise I’d tell him to shut the front door lol. Thing is now we’re both confused as to what we want. We both want each other. We’ve met now & it feels so much better and different but he’s got this girlfriend but it’s literally only been a matter of weeks. I know he wouldn’t see us both at the same time but what do I do? I want him back in my life is this wise? How do I help things lean towards him still wanting me? I know he hates a clingy girl and the reason we got on so well when we met was that I acted like I didn’t give a shit and he’s realised the clingy girl online isn’t what I’m like. So I’m thinking play it cool and just message him like we have been? I want this to go further, he’s amazing, just so amazing.
Well I think you are doing the right thing in being patient and playing it cool.I am not the type of person who would tell you to try and nick him off this other girl so I won't.
SO just be friends and keep tabs on him.I also wouldn't put your life on hold either and if another suitor happened to come along then accept the offer if he is your type.
mysteron wrote:
Well I think you are doing the right thing in being patient and playing it cool.I am not the type of person who would tell you to try and nick him off this other girl so I won't.
SO just be friends and keep tabs on him.I also wouldn't put your life on hold either and if another suitor happened to come along then accept the offer if he is your type.
that could work. I mean i'm not intentionally trying to steal him but now we've met we're finding it hard to stop what we had before she came along. We're flirting so much and he's back to telling me how gorgeous and beautiful i am to him.
He thought we'd never meet it's why we split in the first place but now we know it's possible we can't hold back and we're right back to how we used to be... totally falling for each other and wanting each other
mysteron wrote:
Well I think you are doing the right thing in being patient and playing it cool.I am not the type of person who would tell you to try and nick him off this other girl so I won't.
SO just be friends and keep tabs on him.I also wouldn't put your life on hold either and if another suitor happened to come along then accept the offer if he is your type.
absolutely +1 here 
if he is as smiltten as he claims to be, then you won't even have to try, all you have to do is wait. Although, I would say to point out that he shouldn't be like this if he has a girlfriend. By all means, give him a bit to figure out exactly who/what he wants, but whilst he is with her, stick to friendly, non-heart, non-you're-beautiful texting until he is single. If he continues whilst having a girlfriend, that is a red flag, because if you became his girlfriend, there is no reason he wouldn't go behind your back exactly the same.
popk1n wrote:
mysteron wrote:
Well I think you are doing the right thing in being patient and playing it cool.I am not the type of person who would tell you to try and nick him off this other girl so I won't.
SO just be friends and keep tabs on him.I also wouldn't put your life on hold either and if another suitor happened to come along then accept the offer if he is your type.
absolutely +1 here 
if he is as smiltten as he claims to be, then you won't even have to try, all you have to do is wait. Although, I would say to point out that he shouldn't be like this if he has a girlfriend. By all means, give him a bit to figure out exactly who/what he wants, but whilst he is with her, stick to friendly, non-heart, non-you're-beautiful texting until he is single. If he continues whilst having a girlfriend, that is a red flag, because if you became his girlfriend, there is no reason he wouldn't go behind your back exactly the same.
this is good and i know but we were talking so long, so intimately. This thing (from what i've been told by our mate) is a rebound. i mean i don't mean to sound bragging because i'm truly not but literally the day after we stopped talking he bought himself a kitten. He never wanted any pets. i think it made him feel a little better. He's so cute with the kitten she's gorgeous and absolutely dotes on her daddy, from day 1 she just follows him around the house looking up at him, or sitting on him for cuddles.
Anyway back on track I've been told it's a rebound thing and he knows he shouldn't be saying it knows he's being naughty but can't help it and neither can i. i only went back into it after he had started it and kept saying stuff because at first i was worried he'd freak
I'm not trying to criticise btw. It's just that currently there is a situation going on where an acquaintance of mine has a girlfriend, but he likes someone else and everyone knows apart from her. It's embarassing to see and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
HarlequinGirl wrote:
popk1n wrote:
mysteron wrote:
Well I think you are doing the right thing in being patient and playing it cool.I am not the type of person who would tell you to try and nick him off this other girl so I won't.
SO just be friends and keep tabs on him.I also wouldn't put your life on hold either and if another suitor happened to come along then accept the offer if he is your type.
absolutely +1 here 
if he is as smiltten as he claims to be, then you won't even have to try, all you have to do is wait. Although, I would say to point out that he shouldn't be like this if he has a girlfriend. By all means, give him a bit to figure out exactly who/what he wants, but whilst he is with her, stick to friendly, non-heart, non-you're-beautiful texting until he is single. If he continues whilst having a girlfriend, that is a red flag, because if you became his girlfriend, there is no reason he wouldn't go behind your back exactly the same.
this is good and i know but we were talking so long, so intimately. This thing (from what i've been told by our mate) is a rebound. i mean i don't mean to sound bragging because i'm truly not but literally the day after we stopped talking he bought himself a kitten. He never wanted any pets. i think it made him feel a little better. He's so cute with the kitten she's gorgeous and absolutely dotes on her daddy, from day 1 she just follows him around the house looking up at him, or sitting on him for cuddles.
Anyway back on track I've been told it's a rebound thing and he knows he shouldn't be saying it knows he's being naughty but can't help it and neither can i. i only went back into it after he had started it and kept saying stuff because at first i was worried he'd freak
if it is already as deep as you say, then give him an ultimatum. one week, does he want her or you. it's not clingy, it;s morally fair on all parties.
and my point is that no matter whether she is rebound or serious, she may also really like him and may believe he's really into her too. my point to just remain friends whilst he has a girlfriend is so it is fair on EVERYONE,
I guess but i don't want him to feel pressured because at the moment he's as confused as i am if not more so because now he's got this girl and he wouldn't want to hurt her. i worry if i push him he'll choose her over me.
We are still just friends at the moment but i know he will dump her if he wants more which he seems to want. He's so proud and happy he met me it's untrue he went out and was bragging to all of his mates that he saw me and how beautiful i looked etc and got them to get in a photo with him (he doesn't like solo photos) so they all posed for me and he was doing the face he pulled whenever i sent him a sexy picture. A kind face as if he's literally saying ooft! it was extra sweet of him to tell me how he thought i was cute, beautiful and gorgeous because as i told him a little later on, i was so rushed that morning i literally dry shampooed my hair and threw on the first lot of clean clothes i could find and it was nothing special but he insisted. he said he heard me singing away in the car... i wasn't particularly loud, i never am and i was like thank you but i wasn't aware you were listening i'm sorry i cant sing lol he insisted i sounded good and i was like oh and i heard you singing along too and he was like yeah i sound shit i know and i was like don't be daft you sound great (he really does sing well and it was cute just us two singing along with our mate just making convo every so often then telling him off for not watching the road, because he was too busy watching me! Our mate made sure i knew afterwards. He was like did you see him eyeing you up?! he kept laughing at everything you said too and he's never like that!)
I can tell how infatuated you are :) it is pretty lovely to read :) I understand you are officially just friends... but just friends don't tell you you're beautiful and flirt with you whilst not single, or at least morally they are not allowed to.
Just wait and see. Try to stay cool and try to believe that coolness yourself a bit. Like, just try and chill out a bit! :) just roll with it, and if he gives you compliments, say thank you, but don't initiate, because then you look like you're trying to steal him (I understand that's not what you're doing!).
If you're afraid that just by pointing out he has a girlfriend, so he needs to make a decision, will push him away, then you two don't know each other well enough yet. If he likes you enough, it would prompt him to choose, it wouldn;t push him away.
we even got talking about music and i told him this song that's my favourite and we were listening to it and he said he'd never heard it but he downloaded it and got back to me said he really liked it.
Just to clarify with all these signals... I'm not misreading it am I? SURELY this is more than just being friends. When we were friends even when we were both single there was no sending kisses or cute names or anything like that. He makes me feel wonderful and obviously i don't want this girl getting hurt but i can't help it we have such a connection we only met briefly and couldn't get over it.
Also he kept saying he wanted to come over and was going to after a drink with his mates but our other mate said it was best for him to not come over as this ex drug addict came over and he really hurt the guys family so it wouldn't have been a good mix so he stayed away to stay out of trouble. He's so protective its adorable but even though he couldn't come around he kept making sure we were ok (we tried to kick the other guy out but he wouldn't go and he was family of one of ours mates so we couldn't stop him as it was his mates house we were at, at the time)
popk1n wrote:
I can tell how infatuated you are :) it is pretty lovely to read :) I understand you are officially just friends... but just friends don't tell you you're beautiful and flirt with you whilst not single, or at least morally they are not allowed to.
Just wait and see. Try to stay cool and try to believe that coolness yourself a bit. Like, just try and chill out a bit! :) just roll with it, and if he gives you compliments, say thank you, but don't initiate, because then you look like you're trying to steal him (I understand that's not what you're doing!).
If you're afraid that just by pointing out he has a girlfriend, so he needs to make a decision, will push him away, then you two don't know each other well enough yet. If he likes you enough, it would prompt him to choose, it wouldn;t push him away.
Possibly but we've never been in this situation before it's not something we've spoken about either so i can't know for sure. i dont think he would but I'm a worrier. He's always told me (well for as long as he's been with her) that she'll never stop us talking he won't let it happen (even before we met and were just friends barely speaking.. well in comparison to how we were and are now)
and thanks i really am infatuated with him and i feel he is too? I'm trying to keep it cool i'm just worried i'll mess up and lose the opportunity.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but you really need to chill out :)
you sound like you're going around and around in circles in your head thinking about every little detail. yes, it sounds like he likes you, and yes, it clearly means a lot to you, but this is what I am reiterating about you needing to know where you stand and where this girlf stands.
If you build this all up and then he chooses her, where will you be then? Just enjoy it and don't overanalyse! I don't mean to pry, but have you had a relationship before?
popk1n wrote:
I don't mean to sound harsh, but you really need to chill out :)
you sound like you're going around and around in circles in your head thinking about every little detail. yes, it sounds like he likes you, and yes, it clearly means a lot to you, but this is what I am reiterating about you needing to know where you stand and where this girlf stands.
If you build this all up and then he chooses her, where will you be then? Just enjoy it and don't overanalyse! I don't mean to pry, but have you had a relationship before?
lol i'm also an over thinker its annoying and i try not to but it's not as easy. and yeah i have had but nothing like this.
HarlequinGirl wrote:
popk1n wrote:
I can tell how infatuated you are :) it is pretty lovely to read :) I understand you are officially just friends... but just friends don't tell you you're beautiful and flirt with you whilst not single, or at least morally they are not allowed to.
Just wait and see. Try to stay cool and try to believe that coolness yourself a bit. Like, just try and chill out a bit! :) just roll with it, and if he gives you compliments, say thank you, but don't initiate, because then you look like you're trying to steal him (I understand that's not what you're doing!).
If you're afraid that just by pointing out he has a girlfriend, so he needs to make a decision, will push him away, then you two don't know each other well enough yet. If he likes you enough, it would prompt him to choose, it wouldn;t push him away.
Possibly but we've never been in this situation before it's not something we've spoken about either so i can't know for sure. i dont think he would but I'm a worrier. He's always told me (well for as long as he's been with her) that she'll never stop us talking he won't let it happen (even before we met and were just friends barely speaking.. well in comparison to how we were and are now)
and thanks i really am infatuated with him and i feel he is too? I'm trying to keep it cool i'm just worried i'll mess up and lose the opportunity.
"she'll never stop us talking"
tbf if my boyfriend was talking to another girl like he is to you, then frankly I would feel I was within my rights to request him to stop talking to her, as I wouldn't want him being all gushy calling someone else beautiful.
He can either talk to you whilst with her and not flirt, or flirt with you without her. He can't paint her as a bad guy for wanting him to be faithful :/
HarlequinGirl wrote:
popk1n wrote:
I don't mean to sound harsh, but you really need to chill out :)
you sound like you're going around and around in circles in your head thinking about every little detail. yes, it sounds like he likes you, and yes, it clearly means a lot to you, but this is what I am reiterating about you needing to know where you stand and where this girlf stands.
If you build this all up and then he chooses her, where will you be then? Just enjoy it and don't overanalyse! I don't mean to pry, but have you had a relationship before?
lol i'm also an over thinker its annoying and i try not to but it's not as easy. and yeah i have had but nothing like this.
have you told him this intensity? might help him scooch along a decision a bit faster.....
popk1n wrote:
HarlequinGirl wrote:
popk1n wrote:
I can tell how infatuated you are :) it is pretty lovely to read :) I understand you are officially just friends... but just friends don't tell you you're beautiful and flirt with you whilst not single, or at least morally they are not allowed to.
Just wait and see. Try to stay cool and try to believe that coolness yourself a bit. Like, just try and chill out a bit! :) just roll with it, and if he gives you compliments, say thank you, but don't initiate, because then you look like you're trying to steal him (I understand that's not what you're doing!).
If you're afraid that just by pointing out he has a girlfriend, so he needs to make a decision, will push him away, then you two don't know each other well enough yet. If he likes you enough, it would prompt him to choose, it wouldn;t push him away.
Possibly but we've never been in this situation before it's not something we've spoken about either so i can't know for sure. i dont think he would but I'm a worrier. He's always told me (well for as long as he's been with her) that she'll never stop us talking he won't let it happen (even before we met and were just friends barely speaking.. well in comparison to how we were and are now)
and thanks i really am infatuated with him and i feel he is too? I'm trying to keep it cool i'm just worried i'll mess up and lose the opportunity.
"she'll never stop us talking"
tbf if my boyfriend was talking to another girl like he is to you, then frankly I would feel I was within my rights to request him to stop talking to her, as I wouldn't want him being all gushy calling someone else beautiful.
He can either talk to you whilst with her and not flirt, or flirt with you without her. He can't paint her as a bad guy for wanting him to be faithful :/
no i had said i was worried she wouldn't want us talking and he was like "why would she we havent met i won't let her stop us talking, i'll never let her or anyone else stop us talking" now we've met she may feel differently i'm gonna let him think things through though he's obviously as confused as i am if not more
let him by all means :) just don't wait forever :) x
Wow i can't really give advice but if it was me I'd probably be doing what you are but the guy I was seeing was amazing too wouldn't help myself.
Just keep things calm as the others have said hope he picks you you're definitely not misreading any signs so don't be worrying there
Kirsty92 wrote:
Wow i can't really give advice but if it was me I'd probably be doing what you are but the guy I was seeing was amazing too wouldn't help myself.
Just keep things calm as the others have said hope he picks you you're definitely not misreading any signs so don't be worrying there
popk1n wrote:
let him by all means :) just don't wait forever :) x
oh no lol i won't wait forever I just think he needs some time to clear his head. His mate even said when we first split he's finding it hard because he doesn't know what he wants and from what he's said he's finding it hard after meeting me but i feel the same. i was doing ok too and then we met and now it's like... so different. we're just right back to how we were and that's how i wanted it since the day it stopped
You sure Kirsty92? i worry and i've often misread blatant signals that actually mean nothing. Apparently a tongue down my throat and a hand on my arse doesn't mean a guy likes me (from the past)