You all - well most of you :-D , keep mentioning the Gspot . I thought that was regarded more as a myth than something that actually exists . I gather it is just inside my vagina on the front wall but , I'm struggling for words here , what does it DO , is it as sensitive as my clit ? and if so, since I can't actually enter myself, whats the best way to help it to help me along ?
I'm really self taught remember - in the dim and distant late 50s /early 60s , you know - the hasty touches got when you had a little privacy with your boy friend . I never had sex ' properly ' till our honeymoon , and believe me that was quite a shock when I saw his very erect cock and honestly wondered how he would manage to get it in me . Yes I knew that's what you did , but as to how ??? So we learned together - he was gentle and eventually we got to enjoy our sex life.
This feeling of wanting a sex life has really shaken me now , but I'm going to do my best to enjoy it . It's true , you don't know what you've got till you lose it , and since my 'bits' are prodding me into action - I'm determined to learn how to give myself pleasure .
OH - rosehip - an idiot's question for you - you said [quote]Glad to see you've ordered the Contour Vibe already. It's not a sharp enough bend to hit the clit while being used internally, but your egg will help with that.[/quote] Do I take it that you think I'll need to have the egg in while I'm using the Contour Vibe for my clit ?
Don't put yourself down, silver. These things are hard to describe and even harder to understand at first. Unless you can figure out some new way to use the Contour vibe (also known affectionately as the giant pink banana) that I haven't found yet, it doesn't do both internal and clit simultaneously. You'd need something like the Rock Chick for that. But an egg inside while you use the Contour on your clit would work well.
That's just one way of using it. You'll probably find more. I certainly did. :-)
To find your g-spot, try inserting the Contour shallowly and rotating it up so the tip is pointing towards the pubic bone. If that feels especially good, you've probably found the magic. :-) The Contour vibe is the best for me in that regard. Don't know about other women's experiences with it.
Some people say that the g-spot is connected to the clit. Women seem to react differently. Positions where the penis rubs along the front wall (like doggy) tend to have more g-spot stimulation, so you may have experienced it with your man. Not sure how to describe it. Will have a think about that over night.
I'll see if I can find something a little more educational. Basically, when a fetus begins to differentiate into either a boy or a girl, the same tissues will be used. What is the penis in the man becomes the woman's clitoris. The same tissue in a man that fills with blood and becomes erect will also be filling with blood in the woman and causing your labia to swell and open. And the part that becomes the male prostate will become the female g-spot.
It's really a shame that you aren't able to explore it with your fingers, because it really is easy to notice that way. The texture is completely different from the rest of the vaginal wall. Some women will only have a small g-spot, and will find it much easier to orgasm from clitoral stimulation. Others have a g-spot that's quite prominent, and those will be the lucky women who orgasm from penetration alone, without requiring the clit to be involved. And even if you aren't able to have g-spot orgasms, you'll still get a lot of extra pleasure from there. Since you clearly enjoy penetration, I suspect you won't have much difficulty.
I wish I could tell you how wonderful it is to read about your journey towards sexual empowerment. It's something I would wish for every woman - and for every man, for that matter. How could anything we do to our own bodies possibly be wrong?! It's crazy to think that could be true, and yet so many of us had it drilled into our heads that it was. I remember as a teenager once tearfully confessing to my female mentor at church that I liked to run my fingertips over my belly, because I liked the tingly feeling it gave me.
Thank god I'm out of the shame business. I don't intend to ever go back to that!
Actually I am not able to get to my G spot with just my fingers and I am not affected with lesser mobility. I am finding it pretty hard to get there as my wrists has to twist and I sort of cannot really press hard enough. and did not find it that way. The first time I hit gold was with toy! Partners fingers works better or a toy. My own fingers do nothing to me when G-spot is concerned. Mine is bit more up in te vagina and my fingers get there, but it puts the hand under too much stress. So toy can work perfectly fine too.
Suppose I'd better check in and say thanks to everyone for all the help and personal experiences you are sharing with me.
You really have no idea how much I'm learning , and how much confidence you are giving me.
OK - last night - remember no toys available as the Rabit was packed ready for going back. But I wanted to explore a bit . So I thought about position - and got a couple of extra pillows so I was propped up a bit - this meant I could stay on my back and my better arm would let me get to my labia and clit. [ I think I've a wedge pillow - so must look for that - it could help.
So went to bed [ and made sure I peed first :) ] got comfy , and started playing to get me aroused , once my nipples were, I kept one hand on them and the other went down . I managed to find my clit and it was very very soft , hardly there :-( but I persevered and slowly things happend - my labia became big and started to throb and my clit started to respond .
I was really enjoying this , and I just continued to stroke and move things and enjoy the sensations I could feel . Eventually something happened and I was aware that something was pouring out - not the way it used to when I was screaming for him to help me get release . It was a very different feeling - a nice feeling that had me deeply happy and content . I was still enjoying feeling myself , but at this stage with my husband, my clit would be intensly painful it it was touched - once I'd orgasmed he had to stop playing with me as the pain was honestly too much to cope with - I loved having the orgasm , I was totally out of control but play had to stop , or rather he had to stop stimulating me near my clit. He was still able to use his fingers inside me and we would slowly 'come down' .
Last night after I 'came' [ did I 'come ' ? - I honestly don't know - it was different from anything I experienced before ] I was able to carry on feeling myself without any discomfort - I was soaking wet so it was easy . I really really enjoyed it and eventually was ready to sleep - and I slept better than I've done for a very long time.
The postman has just brought me a brown box :-D I'll get some AAA batteries - that big pink banana looks sooooooooo inviting , the Love egg may get a try out before tonight :)
Thank you all for yout help - and maybe my posts will also help someone who is in a similar situation
Ok - bumping this for a bit of a confidence booster .
I'm enjoying both the toys .
The basic love egg is great - slips in with a bit of difficulty and I'm not sure of the position yet , found a slight snag last night - more of that later. Certainly having the control to hand is a godsend though having a wire attached to me feels a little strange
The banana has a curious effect for me - almost instantly the vibrations are felt and 'thrilling' , I'm trembling like a leaf then and it's almost too much BUT at the same time it doesn't go far enough - bluntly I don't come , but I'll persevere as I do enjoy it.
Now for the egg - I'm finding it incredibly good - I love the feeling and my bits do too . I find I'm tightening and releasing very rhythmically and I don't start the movements - very much as I used to react to fingers and his cock moving in me, and the sensation is most welcome . I usually start with the minimal setting and slowly build up . The only problem [ other than no climax which I don't really expect from it from past experience of sex] is that I can suddenly find the egg is coming out on its own which does seem to bring everything to a sudden stop and leaves me feeling sort of abandoned. Oh yes - I reinsert which takes me back to the beginning again and it's a little harder to insert as it's very very slippery , so am I and so is my hand .
Any advice about this ? I can actually walk about with it in so it can't be THAT much too small for me. Will excercises help me to hang on to it when I'm really moving with it and and utterly relaxed ? I find it wonderful in use - I'm relaxed and happy and enjoy the sensations it gives .
Last night I was using both and found myself gasping for breath , quivering all over wanting the release of orgasm and just 'not getting there' That sensation was not nice . I continued as long as I could but eventually I stopped the banana and just let it rest there and slowed the egg right back till I was relaxed again and then left it - reluctantly I'll admit. I'm a bit frustrated , and I suspect I'm pushing myself a bit too far and possibly more importantly a bit too fast .
I can suddenly find the egg is coming out on its own
When you orgasm, or when your body starts working towards and orgasm, the muscles 'bear down', and can push out anything that you have inside. It's one of those interesting sciencey things, some women will actually orgasm during childbirth, because the muscular action is pretty much the same. But yeah, that's perfectly normal, even if it was massive, and you could easily carry a pea around all day, those muscles could force it out. Actually, the better you become with the Kegel exercises, the more toned those muscles will be, and the stronger that 'push' will get. It is one of those sensations most guys approve of, as it intensifies the sensation for them - the purpose appears to be essentially 'milking' the penis - so it does have its up-sides!
Depending on what's most comfortable for you, you could try holding it in, or trying a position where you legs are closed and/or your pelvis raised to make gravity a factor. Just play aroudn with it and see what feels like the best way of keeping it in.
Sorry should have replied earlier... about the rock chic, yes it stays in place with me once inserted so it should be okay unles you're going to be running around or something it's shape can make it a little awkward to insert to start with but with a bit of practice and a little lube I got the hang of it after a couple of goes.
With regards to the egg slipping out, have a search on the internet for kegal or pelvic floor exercises. A few weeks doing those and the situation should vastly improve.
I'd say not to fret too much about the egg coming out, as BB says it's a natural thing, for some it's stronger than others. Personally I push out terribly and if having sex have to try and warn the guy so that he can manage to actually stay inside me. It can be incredibly frustrating if I push out at the wrong time..... It kinda annoys me but not a lot I can do about it. I try to practice with toys, forcing them to stay inside me as I cum against them, am not always that successful tho...
Just enjoy your journey, savour each experience, accept that some will be better than others but ultimately they're all good, the more you do it, the more you will get to know what works for you and what you enjoy and what you don't. Have fun x
Yep. Its the muscle tension before orgasm and if you do during orgasm. Also the push depends on how hard you orgasm, the harder the orgams, the harder your muscles clench and for longer although the push gets less evident after few seconds. At least in my experience. I can get a weak orgasm when I dont feel the inner clenching and makes me wonder if I do, while if I orgasm hard I could feel my vagina clenching for several seconds.
which does seem to bring everything to a sudden stop and leaves me feeling sort of abandoned. Oh yes - I reinsert which takes me back to the beginning again and it's a little harder to insert as it's very very slippery , so am I and so is my hand .