Never tried or discussed it with my partner. Weāre at the start of our journey and taking it steady but its something Iāve always been aware of from watching Porn. Sometimes i think Iād love to try it but then think it may just be a fantasy which in reality I may not enjoy. Certainly curious but feel weāre a long way off!
Iāve always wondered that when āreal lifeā couples are doing this whether itās done in a vanilla way or whether the women verbally takes charge and speaks down to their man? Apologies if this is too graphic a question. If so, delete!
We donāt do the speak down/domination thing. I wouldnāt say it is vanilla, as we do talk filthily, and I do take control in a vanilla type of way (if you get what I mean)
It depends both on the partner and the mood. Generally Iām not one to talk a lot, I prefer giving short orders.
Sometimes we have vanilla pegging sex, while other times itās more kinky (combined with bondage, sissification, humiliation, chastity, nipple clamps, impact play etc).
Thanks @Ian_Chimp we did read some stuff together. I even showed her the famous pegging clip from some American TV show but could tell straight away from her reaction it was a bit too much which is fine as weāve tried and enjoyed plenty of new things recently which weāre more than happy and satisfied with!
As people have said, itās a very personal thing and depends on what your relationship is. One of the things that may be off putting is when looking online the porn around that is heavily skewed towards that sort of dom approach and often focuses on size rather than mutual fun.
The XR University video / podcast is really good for exploring the latter.
Whatever way you go, communication is important to make sure its fun and not harmful.
Thank you @FindingLibido - very astute observation. I donāt think weāre anywhere near ready to think about that and Iām very sure my OH wouldnāt be comfortable in this. Iāll leave this one on the shelf and see how the land lies in a few years I thinkā¦
I did exactly the same. It was an idea we tried and it went horribly. We later revisited after some thought and watching the XR University video and with a little experimentation and some false starts along the way itās now part of our options. Itās something you can explore on your own to find what works for you so if and when you do go ahead youāre in a better position to explain what works for you in terms of position etc.
Hehe think it was a different American show. Not technically a comedy. I havenāt seen it but itās a bit like a new ally mcbeal sex in the city sort of show. Google USA TV series show with pegging might come up with the clip
Thereās nothing sexier than watching OH seductively putting on the harness and teasing me telling me what she is going to do with me never fails to arouse me
I feel like I would want to try this and like the sound of missionary position and stuff like that but the wife isnāt keen at all. When I kind of suggested it in a joke she questioned my sexuality ?
I know not sure where itās come from as sheās put a butt plug there and tried her dildo once. And when she wanks me off she often puts her finger in there. But she says itās to weird
Sounds like itās the āfuckingā act sheās having a problem with, then - the idea of her taking the āmaleā role. Not sure what the answer is to that one, as it would seem to be her own part in it she finds difficult to get on with. Even so, itās a pretty low blow for her to reflect these inhibitions onto you and make it somehow āyour faultā.
I know obviously donāt want to push her and keep at her if it makes her feel abit weird but Iāve tried to say to her before be bit more open minded as itās just us two in the bedroom and we arenāt hurting anyone we are just trying new things to enjoy each other. But then I get is what we do as in normal sex not enough for you
The old āAnal = Gayā tripe. A bit of an education job needed there!