There’s loads of threads on this here, the search function is great.
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Both.
Gentle when we’re upstairs in the bedroom. Usually cowgirl or doggy.
Rough when we’re downstairs and she bends me over the kitchen sink and pegs me hard and deep.
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Welcome to the forum! 
Can you recommend one please?
Would love OH to do this to me but just cannot ask her. Would be one step too far. Will have to stick with solo private insertions.
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Next time your OH is giving you a blow job you could try and ask her to put a finger in you and go from there or is that also off the table
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