People can be so cruel, happy you're now working here Cazz like sine says it's our gain :) xLovehoney - Cazz wrote:
sinenomine wrote:
That's absolutely dreadful, Cazz. For how long did you put up with that behaviour? I can't recall ever hearing of such an unpleasant couple of colleagues. Eat or throw away your lunch? I'm so glad you got out of there as you did - and truned the tables on them!
Their loss is our gain, and you're greatly valued here as I'm sure you know!
:) xxx
It went on for around 4-5months then I handed in my notice.
x
I can't believe you were able to put up with that sort of treatment for 4-5 months Cazz, it must've been awful. So glad that you got out of that job and found LH. I bet it's a much nicer place to work :) One of my friends is having an awful time at her job at the moment and desperately wants to leave, and I feel like her perfect workplace would be Lovehoney. She's always been a bit too open and honest about sex things for most people, but hopefully that wouldn't be a bad thing in the LH workplace :P
Sending everyone who has to work this week happy thoughts :) x
Something else you may need to look out for as well once it is reported and dealt with . This is engineered/constructional bullying . This isn't the easiest to spot but never the less is workplace bullying. Its all to do with placing a colleague under as much pressure as possible to force the into leaving. This can happen in a few ways. Some examples below that I dealt with as a Union rep in a high street bank .
Unfair workloads that are going to be difficult to handle .
Lumbered with all the rubbishy unpleasant jobs.
Being given all the unpopular shifts.
Being kept apart for you closest work colleagues.
Toilet visit denial ( I kid you not)
Sub standard training for a new procedure and then expected to carry this duty out. This one in particular was very difficult to prove.
I am not saying this will happen to you but you many need to be wary of some of the under hand tactics. The person you are reporting may try some of these as retribution.
Lovehoney - Dani wrote:
Swallowing my pride and leaning on him was still one of the hardest things I've ever done, but by god I can't imagine how I would have recovered if I didn't step away at the time I did. The way they treated their staff was utterly vile, even when the union got involved there was so little they could do to help us - a few of my closest friends who worked there all have thankfully moved to greener pastures but still battle with various side effects. Many of us continue to seek therapy.
Your work is your livelihood. You absolutely cannot afford to place your mental health under that kind of stress, or place a dollar value on your sanity. There is nothing more demeaning than feeling sick about the day ahead every single time you wake up. I am relieved to hear you are getting out of there sooner than expected. Better days ahead and I can only hope these bullies get their comeuppance.
I really appreciate you sharing your experience Dani. I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. I'm glad you're somewhere way better now and I hope you're healing from the trauma. The comments from you and Cazz have helped me to feel less guilty about depending on family for a while. I now expect to be able to leave in 3 months (possibly less) instead of 6 now and I'll be talking to my union rep soon to see if there's anything I can do to make my remaining time in this awful place more bearable.
Stuburns wrote:
Chin up Ruby and all my other forum friends that are in this situation. If I could I would happily offer my services to sort these bullies out for you all x
Thanks Stuburns, it's always nice to hear that there are good people out there who will stand up for those that need it.
mysteron wrote:
Something else you may need to look out for as well once it is reported and dealt with . This is engineered/constructional bullying . This isn't the easiest to spot but never the less is workplace bullying. Its all to do with placing a colleague under as much pressure as possible to force the into leaving. This can happen in a few ways. Some examples below that I dealt with as a Union rep in a high street bank .
Unfair workloads that are going to be difficult to handle .
Lumbered with all the rubbishy unpleasant jobs.
Being given all the unpopular shifts.
Being kept apart for you closest work colleagues.
Toilet visit denial ( I kid you not)
Sub standard training for a new procedure and then expected to carry this duty out. This one in particular was very difficult to prove.
I am not saying this will happen to you but you many need to be wary of some of the under hand tactics. The person you are reporting may try some of these as retribution.
Now that you mention it, I can see this is already happening - she's putting me on late shifts, making sure that I don't get to work on any projects that my friends are working on, forcing me to do all the tasks she knows I hate and my workload has hugely increased to the point where all my colleagues agree that it's unfair and unmanageable. It's getting harder everyday to cope with going in and even though I'm somewhat a morning person, I'm finding it really difficult to get out of bed on work days now.
Was about to say about Cazz that their loss is our gain! HA!
But all this advice is great! Just alot better than the way i wrote it ealier haha!
Hope all goes well with your union rep, keep us posted with how you get on!
She'll realise what goes around comes around :)
I'm happy you are able to shorten the time you need to stay there and I'm glad you have a union rep to talk to. They will or should certainly help you out. X
Its So unfortunate and agonizing on many levels that this type of behavior goes on in the work place. There has been some great guidance/support given already. I would certainly say, to speak with citizens advice, or anyone else you can think of, build up a good foundation (if things get even worse) which I hope they dont.
A spy pen/dictorphone etc is also a very good idea. She is obviously doing this to a few people, and have done it to people in the past, as you have already mentioned. So there are some grounds you can go on there. Have you thought of going `above her` there is always some one `higher up` A governing body perhaps?
Bullying = abuse and that can not be accepted nor should it be tolerated. Make a call, write a letter, go speak with some one personally, see where you stand, what your rites are etc. You could speak with her personally, ut obviously this has not worked, if some one else had before your self. She seems major insecure and angry, to be taking it out on employees..
You do not need to tolerate this at all, I truly hope this gets sorted out in the healthiest way possible for you.
Warm Hugs and support goign your way
SF
Thaffor posposting RRS. I'm in a situation like yours. It's been useful to read your replies. Don't let her bring you down. We'll show these people who's boss :)
Forgot to add, simply because she is the manager, does not mean anything at all. you do not need to bow down and tolerate abuse, because thats what it is, and it is illegal
However when things tend to collapse and fall apart, is when it comes to standing up for your self, and doing something about it. There are always consequences to the choices you make..or should I say `we` make :) ACAS, should provide you with some guidance/advice too
Delighted to say I now have a plan in place and I'll be handing in my notice in 6 weeks!! CAN'T WAIT!!
Glad to hear ur happier hun
My first ever job I was bullied at by a co worker, the management loved her because she had been there so long and was good at sales but to me and a couple of other girls she was horrible too.
Constantly undermining me, laying blame on me for things that I did not do. She would try and get the others to exclude me in after work activities and would often call me 'stupid' and 'slutty looking' to my face when no one was around.
I agree with going to HR and log in a complaint, I unfortunately didn't as I was young and naive so just bottled it up until I couldn't take it any more and left. The one positive thing I learnt from it now I am older is realising that people only bully because they feel insecure and seeing that they can bring someone else down makes them feel a little bit more powerful. I kinda pity my old co-worker now for how she behaved.
Ruby Red Slippers wrote:
Delighted to say I now have a plan in place and I'll be handing in my notice in 6 weeks!! CAN'T WAIT!!
I hope it a genuine reason for yourself wanting to leave and not being forced to leave . If you are being forced to leave then your manager has won .
This type of bullying needs to be stamped out.
If you are being forced out get your Union involved ASAP.Constructional dissmissal is still bullying and illegal .
Yeah, I genuinely want to leave. I just took a job in this industry because it was all I could find at the time but I never wanted to stay long term as in this industry wages are low, corruption is everywhere and there's no job security.
I had a list of things I wanted to achieve in this job (as it would look good on my cv) before jacking it in and doing something more interesting. I find the job super boring now and fortunately I've already achieved what I set out to do, so I have nothing to lose by leaving a bit earlier than I initially planned.
Good to hear.
Are you still going to put in an complaint about your manager after you have left?
SensualFire wrote:
Good to hear.
Are you still going to put in an complaint about your manager after you have left?
I'm not sure. I know it may seem selfish because she may do it again, but at the moment I'm just taking care of myself and I feel that it won't be helpful for me to re-live it by having to put it all in writing. And as this has happened multiple times before, I don't think it will change anything.
UPDATE: my notice is in and I'm heading for freedom!!!! 