You poor thing - sounds like a difficult situation @Justthetwoofus2007
My advice to everyone is - if you think it’s worth fighting for - get into therapy together.
The perspective that a qualified third party brings to your conversations is so helpful.
It transformed our intimacy - and whole connection with each other.
For us, to have a great sex life, we have to have a great life of love in place first - based on trust and respect.
Maybe you really need to explore these feelings about the family and the camming first with each other - if there is underlying resentment, feelings of conflict etc - it will be difficult to reach a really joyful place together.
Personally, I really want to give my partner pleasure and happiness, so I’m very happy to massage and spend the time on the whole ritual / foreplay aspect.
We discussed what we both wanted out of ‘play dates’ so that we could meet each others needs.
If he loves you, he should be willing to explore these things with you.
Best of luck to you. I hope you find the love together again
@Justthetwoofus2007
I was trying to ask in a round about way earlier…
Are you of a certain religion or culture where it is frowned upon to split up.
You need to leave this relationship as is not just your partner causing issues, it is his family too and they will never change.
The only way to possibly save this relationship is through therapy both individual and as a couple and possibly going low contact or even no contact with your in-laws. But even with that I think you need some time away from him. Even if it is just a few days in a hotel or B&B you need time to reflect away from the situation.
Even with the above I would start making plans to leave him. I know it is hard trust me I know, my ex abused me emotionally, financially and sexually for years before I got out. It sounds like you are incredibly isolated and is not a good position to be in. If he cannot change his ways you need an exit plan. Unfortunately there is the very real possibility that he may get worse, some people do not like being called out on bad behaviour. Please be careful and please if you have anyone in real life who could possibly trust enough and who could help you please reach out to them.
Stay safe and please keeps up updated I think I can safely say this we are all here for you.
Yes I think you’ve got it.
I am off my website since Xmas for camming, I do very little, but now earn all the money rather than my website take 50% meaning I don’t need to hard now.
He spoke yesterday and is really happy with what I do now.
I’ve never had any control over my life ever, but I had no one teaching me when I was growing up, my mum is an abusive control freak, and my dad is a push over, he’d let her abuse me.
So when I met hubby he is an older guy, more life experience than me, it fell into place.
When I started camming I had a life I’d never had before, where I was in control of things, and for the first time ever I earnt more than he did, and a lot of it stemmed from that.
I’ve asked several times for us to go counselling he won’t, I’ve had counselling for 5-6 years for my sexual abuse, I’m awaiting a new counsellor to continue.
His family we have no contact apart from health issues for his dad. So he talks with brother and sister in law with his care needs only.
I’m not a quitter, I married him because he is a good man, we all have rocky roads in our marriages, I know we can come thro it.
We have 2 children, 1 disabled and I can’t put them thro a break up. My boy is just settling after moving house nearly 2 years ago.
I can’t afford to be in my own, I have nowhere to go, no friends at all to help me, no family to support me.
I really love the bones off him, we’ve been together since I was 18, it’s just a rocky patch.
No we’re both non religious.
@Justthetwoofus2007 yeah I second that, marriage is not all floaty floaty and sometimes is rocky and difficult and takes work. You’ve got this, keep talking with him, keep showing up, it will work out 
@Justthetwoofus2007 I think many suggestions are valid and hopefully you can find something that works . My wife is disabled for about 20 years and we have basically no sex life , which is frustrating for both of us . She had a medical procedure recently that started out working great and then stopped working and then created more pain than she had before . She is always depressed , but that really hit her hard . In two days the programmers and DR will see if they can tune or find the problem . I wish in my old age I had great ideas to help you , but all I can say is good luck and Hugs from afar . 
Lots of us go through patches where everything seems crap and we feel disconnected as a couple… life kind of gets in the way. Yes, there can be a way forward but only if both of you are prepared to put the work in.
Sadly it appears that it’s you constantly having to accommodate his needs, his desires, his happiness but what about yours?
Ok, he works long hours, does heavy lifting and feels tired but that’s the same for a lot of people so not really a valid excuse.
Obviously the lack of feeling in his fingers isn’t his fault but he should be willing to do other things for your pleasure. So he doesn’t like oral or dildos but there are other toys.
Him getting angry when you try to talk about these things is his way of shutting the conversation down because he’s not interested in changing. He’s got all his needs catered for by you, he can just roll into bed and get a blow job or dive straight into sex without giving you any opportunity to get aroused…thats simply selfish and unfair. The bit that made me feel so angry was when you said he’s recently " allowed" you to use your womaniser in the same room as him! Not trying to be offensive but he sounds like a bit of a control freak. I get the impression from what you’ve said that you’re a bit scared of him at times, worried about his anger at you trying to discuss sexual stuff, constantly treading on eggshells all the time.
Yes, you’ve been through some horrible stuff but if you keep making making excuses for him then you’re just enabling his attitude of “I’m getting what I want/need so what’s the problem?” I just feel sad for you because you sound so lonely.
Sorry I can’t offer any suggestions other than what everyone else has said which is communication but that seems to be a real sticking point.
Thank you xx
I think it’s all his focus and anger, resentment is from my camming, even tho I’ve not been on my web site nearly 6 months now, he still holds all that resentment.
Any time toys are mentioned, he says that he’s not enough. One of my regular sexters has treated me to a male torso, and he isn’t happy, said that the shaft is massive and is gonna ruin me.
I explained that I pushed out our 10lb baby and it went back to normal! I think he knows he’s not satisfying me, and is worried how to fix it.
He just really hard to communicate with, because he doesn’t listen, and I don’t have the fight to keep fighting.
That’s really unfortunate to hear, it sounds like he’s dealing with a lot of feelings of inadequacy/insecurity. This is something that he needs to work through, but from the sounds of it, he doesn’t want to.
The fact that he said the toy would ‘ruin’ you is laughable, and clearly he doesn’t understand that we don’t get loose by playing with toys, that’s a ridiculous conservative myth that’s been pushed for centuries to shame women for their own pleasure 
I know it’s tough, but he really does need to make some kind of effort on his part. He can’t take his work frustrations out on you, and you need to be able to communicate with him. It shouldn’t need to be a fight to talk with him, that’s really not healthy.
I’m not sure how much advice I can offer, but I’m sure there’s a few others on here who can. I really do wish you all the best
@Justthetwoofus2007
How did the family and friends find out about the camming. I assume you didnt tell them so I guess he did.
Stockholm syndrome was mentioned and it does kinda sound like it to me. There is another suggested one called Lima syndrome. I think this describes him doing or saying what he needs to keep you in your state of mind and under his control.
What would happen if he got onto LHF and read yours and our posts. How would he react ??
His brother is a trucker and apparently they have a group WhatsApp and they send pictures and so forth of girls they play with online.
My picture was sent on that group WhatsApp, his mate had actually been paying me on my website, so my brother in law and sister in law, paid to view my content, they contacted my hubby the day after my mother in laws funeral, to tell them that I was a prostitue and selling myself online.
He told them that I was camming, not meeting anyone, and that he was in said videos.
They then wanted to blackmail me, to take my profile down, to change my surname so they didn’t have to be associated with me.
I refused to take my profile down and my brother in law contacted my mother thro FB to post my sex videos on her wall.
I messaged them and told them that if my content is leaked anywhere, I will report them for revenge porn, and we haven’t spoken since.
He read my posts on here before, when I first joined and he told me to take them down, which I did, sure the older members will remember that.
He’s a great guy, he provides for us, he loves me, and it’s just working thro it.
It’s hard when I can’t communicate with him, I think he thinks I’ll find someone else.
Thinking about it, I say a lot of things that has made me think. Things I’ve not thought about before.
He’s really not approachable, and sometimes it’s finding the wording not to sound like he’s being attacked.
It’s my birthday weekend this weekend, so maybe I’ll wait till next weekend, I don’t want him thinking I’m picking on him.
@Justthetwoofus2007
If you didnt have the kids and you had plenty of money to support yourself… would you stay, or be gone in a heartbeat ?
I’ve never been on my own, we’ve been together since I was 18. I don’t have a support network if we did split.
All of this isn’t his fault, most of it is my fault, for camming, I changed, he didn’t, he just felt like he was left behind. If I’d not of done this camming, he would be happy, and I’d not of lost everyone.
@Justthetwoofus2007
Ive been reading back through all your posts to try to better understand your situation.
You had trauma in early years. Your Mum was controlling and Dad was a walk over.
You had counselling and it all got better. Then he became angry aggressive and abusive coz you were camming. You lost contact with everyone around you because of it.
Now he does nothing to float your boat and just takes from you in everyway.
It doesnt bother you that he is this way because hes such a lovely bloke, and you blame yourself for causing all the problems. Youve got nowhere to go if need be so you keep allowing everything to happen… You just want to reverse time and undo what you did to him and all your friends and family.
Is this about right (omitting some details) ??
Sounds like you’re having to walk on eggshells simply in order to have a conversation. Not a good sign, this is how my ex was, nothing I said mattered, my happiness didn’t matter, nor did my satisfaction in the relationship, and if he got mad enough (which never took much), I got hurt, and made to feel I was to blame (it’s taken many years to erase that feeling).
You were working. You were earning money to live so you could be independent. That’s valid. If he was that upset, he needed to discuss it with you, rather than adopt the bad attitude he got. Now you’re not camming, you’re no longer financially independent, and unable to leave him, as you rely on him financially.
As many of us have said, communication is essential, and it seems like neither of you are able to, either out of not wanting to, or out of keeping the peace.
This is not your ‘fault’, he needs to be able to communicate his feelings in a healthy way, and he seems to not be willing to do so, or even try. I really do think you need to start building an independent support network, and possibly setting some money aside.
Please take care of yourself. Your happiness is just as important as your childrens’, I know you don’t want to put them through a break-up, but you also need to start putting yourself first at some point. If you stay, are you ever going to be fully happy? Could his resentment get worse?
Those people weren’t supportive, and you’d probably have lost them over something else at some point.
What was your relationship like before you were outed? He knew and was in some of the videos, so how mad was he really?
You can build a support network through services in your area. If you’ve got a Citizens Advice Bureau type place, contact them or ask your counsellor for contacts. From reading between the lines, and it could be wrong, it sounds like you’d leave if you had support.
Yea pretty much.
Honestly he isn’t a monster, he’s just finding things difficult, he’s in a job he hates, and I get he’s frustrated, he works hard, long hours, and he’s shattered all the time.
Getting holiday off is virtually impossible, and when he does get the odd day off, his working are constantly ringing him all day.
He had a bit of a break down when his family found out and had to take a few weeks off, unpaid, which ment I had to work longer to keep us afloat, he returned to work to be told he was going on a written warning for having sick leave. Which would stay in his file for 6 years.
He’s never taken any sick in the 10 years he’s been there.
I think he’s just forgotten how to communicate with me, I think he worry’s constantly that my work and the attention they give will eventually make me leave.
My work is work, I’m nice because I’m working and I’m being paid. He doesn’t get that.