Is there any other guys out there that are secretly bisexual?
I've been married for almost 10 years now and I would love to tell my wife that I get turned on by guys but I really don't think she'd understand. It's something that I used to like to keep to myself but now is really love to share with her.
I'm not a guy, but I'm bisexual and in a relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, I've always been open about it. He's a lot better at understanding it than I expected him to be, he's straight. I'm sure she would understand - it might be a bit of a shock at first, but you haven't done anything wrong. I'll bet after being married for 10 years you'll have had ups and downs, I'm sure that this won't be the worst thing your relationship has encountered :) Besides, apparently everybody's a little bisexual, just some are like 90/10 rather than 50/50 :)
It must be tough not feeling able to share this part of yourself with your partner. Maybe she'd react to it differently than you think though. A lot of the time I think people are much more critical of themselves than other people would be. Obviously I don't know you or your partner or what your relationship is like, but hopefully if you were to take the time to explain your feelings to your partner, she would listen and be understanding. Perhaps it would be difficult for her at first, but I'd imagine that that might be due to maybe feeling like it was something you've kept from her for a long time, or perhaps feeling like it meant that you were less attracted to her.
I've always been open about my bisexuality with my partner, but I think that maybe it's a bit different between men and women since female bisexuality is generally quite high on the male fantasy list. If I try to imagine what it would be like for my male partner to come out as bi to me, I think I'd be confused by it and maybe for a while I'd feel slightly differently about him because it would feel like it was a part of him that I didn't know about, but eventually I'm sure we'd get back to normal and I'd learn to share in that side of his fantasy life.
Good luck with whatever you decide x
are you actually bi-sexual, or just bi-curious???
I've slept with other guys and I'm still attracted to guys.
I'm more apprehensive now than I was years ago mainly because now I feel like I've lied for so long.
My wife reckons if I wasn't married I would be gay or at least bi,,
tough predicament indeed.
good luck is the best i can do for you.
I suppose it depends on why you want to tell her. If you're monogamous then your desire for men is irrelevant. Or do you want to introduce something into your sexual play? Or is it honesty for honesty's sake? xx
It's more that I want to be honest about who I am
If it's about being honest about who you are, I personally think that you should definitely do it, but I'm the sort of person who always recommends honesty. I'm always of the opinion that there's basically nothing that can't be solved between a couple if they communicate honestly, and that being honest, especially about the more difficult things, will make you stronger as a couple in the long term.
I think the question of "why didn't you tell me sooner?" will come up. She might see it as you lying to her for 10 years, or she might completely understand. You know her best, so you should decide if and how to approach it!
I was upfront with my wife when we first got together about sleeping with other guys and she was fine with it. I guess it just all depends on the individual.
Best of luck with it all. I hope she sees it in a positive light.
Well said 😊Skitty wrote:
If it's about being honest about who you are, I personally think that you should definitely do it, but I'm the sort of person who always recommends honesty. I'm always of the opinion that there's nothing that there's basically nothing that can't be solved between a couple if they communicate honestly, and that being honest, especially about the more difficult things, will make you stronger as a couple in the long term.
I think you should tell her, but is it justice let her know the truth or do you want to bring this into your relationship, do you want to be with a man again. I would have all your answers ready before you tell her and I think as already said the main question will be"how have u not told me in 10 years" "why now" do you wand to have relationships with men" "do u want her to be involved"..... Personally I actually would like my man to be willing to try things with other men an area he doesn't want to explore so you never know some woman are actually really open to it. Good luck with what ever you decide x
**sorry mean just to let her know not justice**
What would be the reason behind telling her? what are you looking for her to say? If you are in a commited marriage with her I wouldn't think there was any need for this info in your commited relationship.
Personally i think if i was in her shoes i wouldnt be bothered you have been together 10 years its not something worth throwing away for your sexual desiers i would like to think you would talk this out with her as its a big thing to keep a secret
It's a tough one, ten years is a long time. You know her best - how do you think she will react? Are you comfortable explaining why you haven't said before, why you need to tell her now?
I completely understand just wanting to be honest and open about it - so fingers crossed for you you can get it out there in the open
I don't know how you have kept a secret for ten years. I can't go ten minutes without blurting to the OH.
If it were me, and my OH told me after 10 years that he was gay/bi/bi-curious what ever I would be shocked at first and probably a little disappointed that he didn't feel he could talk to me about it. But then after a good long chat I think I would see it that him having the potential to love more people but STILL choosing me just makes me more special. As long as the person you love, love you back then that's the main thing.
Good luck.
I found out years after leaving school that most of. If not all my friends were waiting for me to come out. Even my sister thought I was going to come out. And the woman I married when at school thought I was gay. Explains why the girls I liked would rather talk to me about their boyfriend troubles. There was me thinking it was a way to get with them. Call it naive or stupidity and in a way I think there is more than a little curiosity in me but I think most men have these feelings and most men never act on them as the way society sees this prevents them for fear of rejection. It is seen as socially acceptable for two women to be seen getting it on but two men is still in most circles seen as wrong. I have now been married to my OH for 8 years this year and we are now talking about things we both never thought we would ever talk about. And sex is getting better and better. I thank this lovely community of dirty minded love honey customers. Keeping a section of your life locked away is stopping you enjoying more of your own pleasure and sharing with your wife. After all you have been married nearly 10 years chances are she will know something that you think she doesn't. And it's not like you will be opening the door to everyone.
Stuburns wrote:
What would be the reason behind telling her? what are you looking for her to say? If you are in a commited marriage with her I wouldn't think there was any need for this info in your commited relationship.
+1