Skirts, trousers and femininity?

Off-Topic Chat
1

Hi everyone (especially those still awake now!)

I have a weird confession of sorts and I was curious as to what people thought on the subject. So here goes:

I haven't voluntarily worn a skirt or dress for 14 years! I stopped wearing them at middle school when the school allowed girls to wear trousers as part of the uniform as well, so I switched over and stopped wearing them for casual/non uniform wear as well. I did have to wear skirts for 4 years at secondary school because that was before they allowed trousers, and I wanted to go to that school in particular. But I stopped wearing skirts 14 years ago after i took my GCSEs because sixth form didn't require uniform.

Aside from that, I haven't worn a skirt or dress as casual wear for probably 20 years! I'm wondering if this is weird?

Initially I stopped because I was something of a tomboy and I hated how skirts could blow up in the wind and show underwear (something of a problem at middle school, it has to be said!) But later on trousers became handy to hide flabby thighs and when I can't be bothered to shave my legs (bad I know, but I hate doing it so I don't do it nearly as often as I should!)

I hate my legs so I avoid showing them. I rarely even wear shorts in public these days, usually only crop trousers, even though I would probably be fine in mid length shorts. The closest I come to dresses is tunic tops with leggings but I don't do that very often either.

But as some of you may know, I often feel lonely and express my wish I had a partner, and lament my inability to meet guys. I was talking to someone I "met" online recently as part of my RP community, who suggested I'd meet guys and feel more feminine and sexy if I wore skirts... I am genuinely not sure what to make of this suggestion because I rarely feel feminine and NEVER sexy so I am not sure if the problem is my brain, or my clothes! So I am kind of scared to even try because I'm afraid of looking and feeling stupid, or that it make me even more self-conscious than usual and, worse, that people who know my long-expressed dislike of skirts (my mum, mostly!) will laugh at me if I suddenly give it a try! So I have no idea what to do...

I suppose half the problem is I hate being looked at, yet if I don't attract attention, I'll be single and lonely forever, so I am caught between 2 evils!

I guess my questions to you guys are:

Ladies, do you wear skirts and dresses and does it affect how you feel about yourself compared to wearing trousers?

Gentlemen, do you prefer women to wear skirts/dresses or trousers? Do you view women differently depending on what they wear?

2

I think you have to be comfortable in what you wear, a guy shouldn't really look at you for if you wear a skirt or trousers. Find what you feel most sexy in and go with it I'd say, as a guy.

3

I'm going to spit out the usual "Comfortable = sexy" thing - no point wearing a dress if you're constantly tugging the hem or adjusting the sleeves or checking it's not tucked into your pants or... You get the idea.

But I'd argue that there's something equally important in this quandry. For the love of all that is good in this world, dress to your body shape. More girls/women are doing it, now that we live in the Age of Gok, but there's still so many women who don't.

I wear dresses and skirts, but I started doing that because I couldn't find a pair of jeans to fit me. I'm carrying a bit extra (hahaha, "a bit..."), so my thighs are actually wider than my hips because the universe hates me. Finding trousers is an unholy nightmare, so it was easier to find skirts to fit my hips then be all floaty over the thunderthighs. Dresses come under the same bracket - I actually hate t-shirts because they tend to ride up over my hips to snuggle in at my waist (which has defied science and remained quite narrow, actually).

Yeah, my original point - find a style that suits you. If something is baggy to the point of shapelessness, don't you dare put it on. Likewise, if you feel like sausagemeat wiggling into something, odds are you should probably leave that alone too. Clothes don't just have to cover - they can also showcase. Good boobs? V-neck tops. Good legs? Pencil-skirt or straightleg/skinny jeans.

Wearing jeans (I found some that looked good 6 months ago. Thank you, H&M, for finally producing something that looks good on me. Nothing else in your shop ever has.) makes me feel casual, unless I pair it with a pretty top or heels. Wearing a dress feels a bit like I've made more effort.

Was any of this relevant? I'm quite drunk, so...

4

I think I have the opposite quirk to you, I only started wearing jeans and trousers, even leggings about a year ago? I've always worn skirts and dresses because I just feel more comfortable in them, and I like how my body looks in them. Also, I don't shave my legs very often, I just wear tights all the time unless it's too hot to. It's not anyone's body but mine, I don't care what anyone else thinks of the state of my shins haha. I honestly don't feel any more or any less 'feminine' wearing skirts than I do wearing jeans or trousers.

I really doubt that not wearing skirts and dresses is the sole thing preventing you from finding a partner, honestly, it sounds like a really shallow thing to do, to only start finding someone attractive if they start wearing more conventionally feminine clothes! Please don't try and force yourself into wearing something that you feel uncomfortable in. That said, on the other hand, you could always just give it a one day try - I doubt you'll look stupid and you might end up liking them, but if you don't, that's fine too. Just wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident in yourself. Identify body parts that you like about yourself and find something that makes those parts look good, or shows them/it off, buy clothes that you like the texture and shape of. Does this make sense?

5

Dress how makes you feel comfortable!

I love wearing dresses as I always feel more confident in them as I find the right cut hides the bits I want hiding :)

If it has been so long since wearing one however, it might be worth a try just to see if your opinion of them has changed - I know I go through stages :)

6

Cat Lady wrote:

Gentlemen, do you prefer women to wear skirts/dresses or trousers?

The former, of course. Especially in cooler climes it's a feature, by definition.

Cat Lady wrote:

Do you view women differently depending on what they wear?

Absolutely. It's all laid out clearly in my brain blueprints ;)

7

I like to wear trousers, jeans, dresses and cropped trousers. I don't have many skirts and the only skirt i've worn recebtly is my short denim one. it's not very short but above the knee and I like to wear it with thick tights or leggings when it's not very warm.
I tend to wear a dress or jeans hardly ever trousers or a skirt. but I think that's becUse i don't have great tops to go witg them and i dont like button up blouses because they're too restricting.

8

I love wearing a dress even tho I don't really get the chance to that much because of the cold, I don't own that many winter dresses, but I usually wear I summer dress everyday when it's hot if not a skirt, I love how lady like and sexy they make you feel.

But I agree wear whatever makes you feel comfortable don't worry about what anyone else thinks as long as your happy. = ) xx

9

As long as you're comfortable, wear what you want to wear. Make sure you look good in it, whatever it is, though, if you want to attract attention. A woman can totally rock trousers and a t-shirt. I understand why you'd want to hide parts of your body that you don't think are attractive, but don't get carried away and hide the bits of you that look good too. Play them up and show them off.

I don't know what they're called, but I always think that a particular type of skirt looks nice on someone. They're ankle length, made of a crinkly fabric, gently pleated at the waist and usually have a black 1" waistband with a pull cord. I think they have tiny bells attached to the pullcord? I don't see them very often, but they swish very nicely when walking.

I think body language helps a lot, though. If you're sexy and you know it, that carries a lot of appeal. "Chin up, boobs out, it's showtime!".

10

This sounds like a confidence issue first and a clothes issue second. However, if you feel good in what you are wearing you should also feel more confident.

My advice would be to dress to enhance your best features and disguise those bits you like least. Colour and style can make a huge difference. Perhaps a friend would go with you to try on some new clothes and give you an honest critique.

Trousers/jeans or dress/skirt is a matter of choice and can all be feminine but you need to feel comfortable; I would love to wear killer heels but never do as they just aren't comfortable.

Opaque tights are great for less than perfectly smooth legs if you want to wear a dress.

I really feel for you. I thought I'd be single for ever and always used to worry about how I looked. Then I met my husband who loved me whatever.

11

Firsty I think you need to feel comfortable with yourself, and feel sexy with how you are. This doesn't necessarily mean you need to wear a dress or a skirt, I haven't worn those for years and I'm not in any hurry to do so either. I own dresses but when I wear them I wear them with either a pair of leggings or even trousers. Since I'm a little over 6ft 2, most dresses can do as long tops for me.

You can be both comfortable and sexy, and I think a lot of that is portrayed with confidence and not with what you're wearing.

Take me for example (Without being big headed just honest) every group seems to have a fat friend, and in my group of friends, I'm the fat friend. My female friends are gorgeous and very feminine they wear dresses, skirts ect and yet I've never bothered with any of that. I tried on a long skirt, and felt like mary roundabout and decided it just wasn't for me. Yet when I go out, I'll wax my legs (Because it makes me feel sexy even if no one else is going to see it) I'll put on sexy underwear (Again because it makes me feel sexy even if no one is going to see it) then I'll put on a nice pair of going out pants, a top that makes me feel sexy, and do my hair and make up, put on some accessories and a nice pair of shoes and I'm ready to go out. Now even though my friends are gorgeous, dressed to impress with their skirts and dresses, they just don't seem to attract as much attention as I do when we're out. To the point one of my longtime single female friends has in the past said she's no longer going out with me lol. And I personally since I don't like the way I look at all, put that down to my 'fake' confidence I put on when we go out, the fact that I feel sexy and that I'm not trying to impress guys, I'm just having a laugh with them like I would my male mates.

So in my personal opinion I don't think it's what you wear, it's what you project out as even though I'm the 'fat friend' I'm the one who's never had a problem getting a guy or copping off when we go out (When I was single and we went out to copp off, I don't do that anymore)

I just think you need to have more confidence in yourself, and since you usually don't wear skirts, I wouldn't reccommend you just get one and go out in one for the sake of it because you won't feel as comfortable when you're out and may just invert into yourself. Do little things to make yourself feel sexy, and then portray that sexy confidence whilst wearing something comfortable.

12

I never wear skirts or dresses but i find that a good underwear set can make you feel feminine and sexy so that's all you need! Dress how you feel comfortable or it'll make finding a partner even harder because you'll feel self conscious and theyll probably be able to tell x

13

I love where's dresses and skirts. I feel more pretty, feminine and elegant. I live in dresses in the summer and when I'm pregnant.

But if trousers are what you feel comfortable in just try sexing then up with done high heels or a low cut top.

As long as your comfortable then you will appear sexy. My big tip is to buy matching sexy undies. No matter what I wear, if I know I have sexy undies underneath then I feel 10 times more confident and sexy x

14

Mrs Kebert has a wedding dress, ie, a dress she wears to weddings.

Otherwise, trousers.

15

i didnt wear skirts or dresses for YEARS ... now , the last two years or so i have found myself loving them . im faddy

16

Trousers can be made sexy. Dresses can be made unflattering. It really depends how you dress them up, i.e. what footwear & accessories you put with them and (especially in the case of trousers) what other items of clothing you choose. I live in jeans almost all year round and we have to wear trousers for work. Usually, I team mine, on evenings out, with sexy heels or boots & a gorgeous top. Days out are usually jeans & converse and a t-shirt. I'm comfortable in them and we only usually go shopping or to historical sites & parks. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a tomboy just because I don't wear dresses. I don't feel comfortable in dresses. I used to wear them a lot as a young girl, but I just love a good pair of jeans. It's all about personal preference.

17

I will say I wear both and there are times when I prefer one over the other. In -20C I definitely will prefer trousers, same for any outdoor activity. In 30C temperatures in shade, I find that skirt is more comfortable for me than trousers. During spring and autumn I usually wear what I feel like wearing at that moment.

I think that the most important thing is to be comfortable with what you wear. Trousers will not make you less feminine. It is more about how you feel and how you behave than whether you wear trousers or dress/skirt. I would suggest not wearing shapeless cloths though. Those dont look good on anyone and will not give you muh confidence. Cloths, which you feel good in, will get your self confidence up.

Btw. I dont wear make up and many people think it does not make me look less feminine. it is about your whole personality and how you are happy with yourself, which do show who you are.

18

I'm always in jeans unless its a family party then my grandmother insists that I wear a dress. I dislike wearing them so much if I'm honest that sometimes I will go out of my way to avoid a family gathering. The way I look at it is as long as I look smart and I'm comfortable I can wear what I want.
I remember a few years ago I had to go to a job enter course on the very last day I had an interview so with my mothers help I dressed up in a skirt smart top handbag make up etc and walked back into the course after only to be told I was in the wrong place by the advisor who didnt recognise me. It was the most polite she had ever been to me the whole two weeks I was there.

20

I think you can still add a flair of femininity to an outfit that consists of trousers and a top. I've often gone out on an evening in tight jeggings, a formal top, and knee-high boots and people have gone "Wow, you look good!". Granted, most of these comments come from those I'm meeting, and guys just seem to look at me. But, at least they're looking.

And I'm not even showing my midriff in these tops. I don't understand why jeans have to sit on the hips and tops have to sit above the waist. Girls as young as 13 are even dressing like it and it's just automatically deemed sexy. I don't get it, personally, but I've never been too eager to bare too much skin!

22

Think it's a time and place for everything, and you should wear what you feel comfortable in. Yes, I do like ladies in short skirts - legs, bum and boobs will always attract men but,

you can get so many different trousers these day, many of them would not look out of place on a beach. So don't stress too much x