Me and the wife had baby no.3 in August, so being pregnant and I have issues have strained us in some ways but allowed me to explain certain things, so we’re closer on other ways.
We’re not back to normal yet. Not that it’s possible.
I’m getting serious counselling for PTSD from lots of things that have happened to me.
She’s better now baby is out and she’s not so drained.
I’m getting better each day. More comfortable talking to her about my history.
So, maybe lockdown didn’t help because I was left to my thoughts, but that has helped because I couldn’t hide anymore.
Does this even make sense??
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it does make sense! and I’m glad you’re making progress and getting the help you need.
Total sense. I was saying last summer that it took away all my hiding places - going to work, community involvement, some hobbies - and just left me for my family to deal with. Good can come from hard things, even if the hard things don’t come from good.
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I would say our intimacy has definitely taken a hit, it’s still there but it’s not where I would like it to be. We moved into our own place in the middle of lockdown, I always envisioned moving into our own place as the start for something more in regards to sex/intimacy but I think being cooped up with the stresses of lockdown has had the opposite effect.
I’m keen to get back on track and have been meaning to have a conversation with my partner for a few weeks now but just haven’t got round to it. I’m not so good putting my emotions into words. I know it’s a conversation that I need to have though as it’s slowly dragging me down and I’ve been feeling it more and more over the past couple of weeks.
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You need to do this…the longer you leave it…the harder it will be…maybe make some notes?
Hope it turns out well for you @JustSomeFun .
Good Luck
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I think covid and the restrictions has certainly had knock on effects for a number of relationships.
We have had a few disagreements but mainly due to us both working from home in the confines of the house and the joys of home schooling.
Sex life definitely took a hit as we had the kids 24/7 and very little us time, but we did make sure there was me time to relieve any frustrations and lovehoney certainly had a few extra orders from us over the lockdown!
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Thanks @CurvyJilly ! You’re absolutely right, I feel like I’ve already left it too long and slowly it’s becoming harder to bring up. I guess I’m worried about hurting her feelings. She does a lot of other things to show her love to me but intimacy and sex is very important in my opinion.
I’m planning on finding the courage and having the conversation on Friday though once work is out the way. Hopefully if I can convey my feelings in the right manor we can start working on things over the weekend.
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It is @JustSomeFun
Intimacy and sex is very important…and believe me if you leave it…before you know it it’ll become the norm and fast forward years and years you’ll wonder why you let it get there.
Talk…talk and talk now…
Good luck
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I would second this advice - talk now before it becomes the norm! and notes will definitely help, if you’re struggling to find the words. best of luck tomorrow!
We met during COVID over a shared interest group and had our first date a year ago 
We only went on a few dates before I left the country for a few months (I’m from the US but go to uni in the UK), and he actually told me he loved me over video call because he couldn’t help himself (said he’d known since our first date and couldn’t contain himself any longer) 
We experimented with him staying at mine over the weekends for a few months when I came back (as he was living with his grandparents at the time to save money as his work cut hours due to COVID), and started looking for apartments together about 4 months after starting to date 
We moved in about 5 months after we started dating and have lived together since (and even recently adopted a fur baby together) I would say that when we lived apart the sex was more predictable, at least twice over the weekend at some point, but since moving in it has gone down to once a week at most 
Also, since we are together more now there is more arguing (it’s only natural) and we tend to push each others buttons more However, if he wants some alone time he’ll go upstairs to the computer room, and he has also gone to work the entire pandemic so it’s not like we’re together 24/7, and I have been gone for about half the time we have been dating since I like to go back to the US to visit my parents, which has allowed us time to be apart 
For us it’s been more about giving each other enough alone time but not to the point where we’re feeling neglected, and being able to bring it up when we are, and saying sorry when we know we’ve pushed the other too far (hard for both of us )
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Omg!! That has been my worst fear and has happened to me in the past too! 
Could this just be a gay thing in that men can’t wait for Love?!
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It’s happened with both of my exes, both ended up cheating with someone who lives closer to them 
But hopefully it’s not the case with every gay guy
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Our intimacy and relationship has actually gotten better but I think we are having less sex than before. There are more uncertainties and anxieties that creep in on our lives so we are finding it tougher to be in the mood at the same time.
Our time changes back 1 hour on Sunday morning so maybe some early morning sex may change things up. Waiting for Shark Week to arrive (it has been delayed but the rest of the symptoms have started a week early… 
) but maybe some oral could factor in…
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I would say that it has improved mine and my husbands relationship. Since the start of Covid our sex life has gotten so much better although i must say coming across LH in lockdown has played a big part in this and we now own a suitcase full of adult toys that we use most weeks 
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Lol I sense have yet to see the evidence for the post outcome
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I was visiting my partner abroad when his country locked down and I had to stay for several extra months. This was amazing but have now been back in the UK for nearly a year with no end in sight and it is getting more frustrating every day.
We do what we can via WhatsApp but it is not the same.
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Little update, hopefully this helps someone out there…
So, I haven’t had the ‘talk’ that I was planning but things have definitely improved vastly (let’s hope we can keep the momentum). I had a little reflection and realised I wasn’t really showing my partner a whole lot of attention and although I was spending lots of time with her it wasn’t necessary quality time.
I’ve consciously been making an effort to be there for her a little more and we are definitely much happier for it. I think it also helped how we have been a little more outgoing lately, going out shopping, for meals, walks etc - I think lockdown has made a lot of us introverts despite that not being who we really are.
Anyway to my surprise on Friday night she offered up a massage and the promise of a happy ending, unfortunately she couldn’t participate as it wasn’t the right time of the month but it certainly made me feel great and put me in a much better mood. There was no more sex over the weekend but we were very busy and stayed at a friends house on the Saturday so I’m not surprised, there has been a huge shift in intimacy and affection though (outside of sex) which is equally important to me!
I think a huge turning point too was we watched ‘Sex love and Goop’ on Netflix and this actually opened up a nice discussion, I want to delve a little deeper into this with her but just talking about sex in general is a big thing for us. I might write a short post on the ‘sexual blueprint’ which is discussed in the show as I think it could be hugely beneficial to lots of people.
Anyways, I guess this is a very long way of saying that if you feel like your relationship is dipping a little, try and look for reasons outside of your partner as it’s very easy to pass blame to someone else and ignore your own flaws. I understand this might not be the case for everyone and I’m certainly not implying that you are to blame if you have suffered a lack of intimacy but it’s certainly something to consider.
It takes two people to have a relationship and it takes both people to put in the work! I’m excited to keep working on our intimacy and hopefully open up some healthy communication both inside and outside the bedroom.
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So I decided to share a little about the blueprint… you can check it out here.
Would highly recommend even for the most healthiest of relationships.
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My relationship is the one thing that strengthened during COVID! I lost loved ones, jobs, and my health suffered severely. But me and my partner are getting closer daily.
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To start with it took a hit, but since we’ve moved house things are better. But we have stressful jobs and also lack of child care has played a big part. We are much better at talking to eachother though.