My OH has spoken about having a threesome a couple of times but each time I've said no its not for me. If I was single then to be fair I would. When he's said it to me though my first thoughts are am I not enough for your then? and do you want to marry me but still have sex with other women?
I guess in some ways i'm quite traditional we're engaged and getting married in a couple of years and to me that says you only want eachother for the rest of your lives, thats what marriage means to me. We have a rich sex life and are very open with eachother, we try new things all the time but this for me is too much
I'm really very layed back (his words not mine) im not one of those jealous girls or anything like that, but to me that's my man and we should be exclusive to eachother. He's very understanding and hasnt mentioned it since and probably never will again, I've told him eactly how i feel and he says he can see where I'm coming from, like I say we're very open and share everything.
I guess really what I'm asking is whats everyone elses thoughts and feelings on it? and is there any married or engaged or long term couples that have tried it, what was it lke and how did it make you feel, and did your relationship change afterwards?
Well Miss C everyone is diferent and what feels right for some doesnt do it for others. I already had a treesome but i was single and it just happaned, it wasnt planned at all..it was nice. I dont think it would work for me in a relationship. Not because i'm jealous but because i like exclusive relationships and wouldnt want any other person in the middle. But i can tell you this much, my bestfriend and her boyfriend have an open relationship and it works for them and they are a really strong couple and very close to each other because they are totally honest about what they want, If its not for you dont do it just for the sake of your partner.
I can only do this in fantasy. I am too jelious to allow it in reality for 2 men one women and i am not the type for 2 women 1 man unless you count fantasy
My husband and I have been together for 25 years and have been swingers for just over a year now. We've had 3somes and we do full swaps (in the same room).
We do it purely for fun. It was never done for negative reasons i.e. to spice up/improve our sex lives or to repair our relationship.
When we first started, we gave ourselves rules and we can only do this by following those rules. Trust is the key and if either of us decided we didn't want to do it anymore, that would be it.
If you don't feel it's something for you then you shouldn't do it. Both people have to be 100% into it for it to work and not cause problems.
Swinging has enriched our relationship in ways we didn't think it would and yes, there was a little jealousy at first but we talk abaout everything and have such an honest and trustworthy marriage, it was always something we could sort out.
We're renewing our vows this August and have no plans to stop swinging!
You've made the right decision for YOU. Don't let anyone push you into doing anything you're not ready for or comfortable with :)
We've done it and would/will do it again. But then we're also non-mono.
Everyone has to do what feels right for them - and if physical exclusivity is what is right for you, then I'd say stick to your guns really. You have to be happy in life, imho.
It depends what you are like as a person, it could caused some relationship issues. Threesomes are much better when neither of you are commited from my experience.
One thing for sure is make sure you're happy with it, don't do it just to please your man
It is something i have asked my husband about, but hes against it totally. Weve not discussed it since.
His reasoning was, `I married you, if you wish to allow another person into our marriage then you will have to do it alone' or words to that affect.
Hes right of course. But our sex life isnt frequent, spontaneous or exciting from my point of view and that is the only reason I wished to experiment, in the hope it would help our sex life.
Ive been with my OH for 2 years now and weve known eachother 5. We have been looking basically since 6 months into our relationship. I know it doesnt mean im not enough and he doesnt think it means that about me. I left my ex because he just wanted to cover up my bi-sexuality and smother me, just after we got engaged i freaked out at the thought of having to sleep with only him for the rest of my life. my OH understands and i dont know a man who would turn down an opportunity like the one he has lol
We are very happy, very open and are much happier for it xx
Agree with others, if you don't want to don't do it.
It is one of my fantasies, it really turns me on, I also like the thought of sleeping with a woman but I wouldn't go through with it because I believe sex should be part of a loving relationship, I also feel sleeping with someone else, with or without my partners presence/permission would be disloyal. Another against for me is I'm a jealous person with my current partner, never have been with previous partners but that may be because he doesn't pay me the attention I need.
Doesn't mean I don't think about it though. Maybe it's something you could talk about in bed rather than actually do, take turns in telling each other how it would happen, what you imagine it will be like may be completely different to how he sees it but it could be a big turn on for both of you.
Would be interesting with 2 men because sex for me is all about giving the woman what she wants and giving her the maximum pleasure possible with many orgasms and just lots of woman worship !
I was offered a 3some recently. Admittedly all parties were quite drunk so I turned it down, one of the factors being that it was with someone I've just started seeing. Who knows it may come up again later but I don't want to ruin it
This is something that hubby and I talk about....a lot.... and part of me says, "hell yeah - go for it" then the other side of me says "oh no no no no no!" granted I've usually had a few drinks when I think yes, but I guess it all boils down to you....do you want it?
You have a choice to make, you can either do a lot of soul searching and read a lot in to it or fly by the seat of your pants and have a go.....I am precariousley balancing between the 2 myself at the mo....:o/...sorry not much help was I??
p.s. By the way, we've been married nearly 14 years and things just get better and better....
I had a threesome while I was single and it was a great experience, but have refused previously when I was with someone. Personally, I'm not into open relationships - fair enough to those who are though, they just don't suit me - and I'm totally of the opinion that if I have a boyfriend (or engaged in your case) then that's the only person I'm gonna have sex with, and expect the same from him otherwise it just couldn't work. I couldn't handle sharing my man with anyone else and I know that, as much as I would deny it to his face, I'd be hurt if he wanted another girl.
The good thing is that, by the sounds of it, he understands your concerns and isn't pressuring you into changing your mind. Just make sure that if he ever does bring it up that you stick with whatever feels right to you.
My wife finished with her first BF over him pressuring her for threesomes (and a few other things), stick to your guns and only do what you are comfortable with, I wouldnt share my wife with another guy and would only be interested in two women when I grow another dick.