Just read this, and yes, agree entirely it’s something we have to own as individuals.
Me and my OH had a scare when we first got together, 3 years back, and scared living daylights out of me! I really am happy with what I have, 2 daughters 24 and 19 now, I really don’t want more.
My OH has 3 children of younger ages, and also doesn’t want more.
We both decided to go ahead. My OH had no issues with wait and was done and dusted.
I finally got an appointment for 24th Feb to get done - which is really scary, but I want to get done anyway.
I think my OH expected that it wasn’t going to happen, and that there was no need now she was ‘sorted’, and now I think about it I think it has had a negative impact with her. I.e. if I am going to go ahead and get done, then I must be thinking about sleeping with someone else, or questioning our future type thing.
That certainly isn’t the case, it is simply that if I am deciding I do not want children, I need to take that responsibility. It’s also a part that in terms of recovery, I now choose to face my fears rather than hide from them. And of course, I’ve been waiting like 2 and a half years for the appointment!
I’ve been told the clinic I am going to only do via local also, and I have a strong preference for a general, yet told I have to discuss this at my appointment with the surgeon (I have leg spasms, which at times of fear likely to kick them off and not ideal with some dude handling my tackle with stuff that can do damage!).
Anyhow, point I’m making is after reading the thread, made me realize I need to talk to my OH and give her a little reassurance around my decision to go ahead and get done, so I’m glad I popped on today and read this.
(also I’m getting impatient and my toys are getting a good workout 
)
and he was completely fine by day 11 or 12 for some (albeit gentle) couple fun!