You’ve asked ‘why do women prefer solo sex…’ when the source you’ve chosen suggests that the majority don’t!
This question is bugging me too. Most people desire both, so why view this as ‘devastating’?
I, and many others view masturbation as a safe way for people to learn about their bodies, sexual desires, and physical limitations. For many it’s a way to explore solo, what they often desire to act on with another person. But it’s also a healthy and fun activity in itself.
Sex with another person is way more complicated, nuanced, risky, exciting, and also for most people, according to your own chosen source, more desirable.
I myself was a late starter when it came to really learning about my own orgasm/ejaculation, different types of stimulation, the difference between porn/fictional sex and real life, and my bodies true sexual potential and limitations. To be fair, I‘m still learning!
The end goal for me personally remains fulfilling partnered sex, but I consider it important to do a bit of both.
When it comes to sex with my wife: we‘ve had really great sex. We‘ve had really really disappointing sex. And it is often more complicated than solo sex, but over the years it’s been getting better and better through open and honest communication.
We‘re still learning loads about each other after more than a decade together.
And the challenge, the dance, if you like is what makes it so compelling, exciting, and ultimately thrilling & satisfying.
I find it encouraging to think that the majority of women ultimately desire the more complex form of sexual expression over the simpler one, in spite of any potential sexual trauma, knocks to their confidence, or feeling judged.
I also take heart from the fact that women are now relatively free and confident with expressing their desires, or lack of it, so we can listen and learn from them, and with them.
This, and the word ‘frigidity’ gives me chills 
. It speaks to me of a culture of judging women for ‘witholding’ sex, and this being viewed as a ‘disorder’.
In my view, partnered sex is an act of consensual and mutual desire and arousal that is built together through sharing a connection, and shared willingly by all involved if all goes well.
We should be very very careful about labelling the lack of desire, or consent as a ‘disorder’.
Not desiring and/or consenting to sex is a fundamental basic principal of communicating when something is not quite right, and must be respected. It’s a vital opportunity to listen and learn.
Sex is an intimate activity. Intimacy implies risk. We have to accept that risky things go wrong and we’re making ourselves vulnerable in doing so.
For good sex, in my opinion, closeness is also vitally important: building closeness is about comfort, trust and reassurance.
How can we ever expect to build this closeness while holding onto suspicions and judgements of a partner with respect to ideas of ‘frigidity’ or suspecting rejections & micro rejections are part of some ‘Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorders’?
Can you remember a time before you held these views? What has happened that has driven you towards these negative feelings towards women?
I’m genuinely asking honestly here.
