Relationship advice ? Bf oral problems replies 2, 5 and 10.
As I have said, he may not understand what your needs are. The fact that you haven’t expressed them for 3 years will have entrenched the idea that he is doing an ok job or that you aren’t that interested in sex. In your first post you didn’t seem willing to take control of the situation, which would be the next best advice after talking. The fact that he is brushing you off suggests you are talking at him not to him. You need to find a way to engage him in the conversation and open him up. You know him, we don’t so there is only so much internet strangers can suggest.
Using toys is a sexual preference, giving oral is a sexual preference, using lube is a sexual preference if you are using it to spice things up (if you need the extra lubrication then you should just use it, you don’t need his involvement there).
Maybe he isn’t interested in pleasuring you at all, which would be selfish. But until you get to the bottom of why he isn’t interested in changing your sex life, branding him simply selfish doesn’t help. It paints him instantly in the negative which then becomes how you view him and then taints how you view everything he says or does. (Or doesn’t do or say which may be more appropriate).
Currently, you are sexually mismatched. If you have tried everything you can think of and everything you’ve been suggested on 2 threads, and nothing is changing then my 3 options still stand.