Yes my wife will not talk about it,everytime i try and raise the subject she just storms off and does not speak to me for the rest of the day,dont know what to do,i just blame myself and keep trying to think what i have done wrong.

Thank you, I just want my wife feeling like herself again, because she feels lost at the moment :disappointed: but I keep telling her I’m not going anywhere I just want her back to herself & the only people that can help are the doctors​:pray:t2:


My thought’s exactly.

You’ve expressed a desire for sex, which to someone with no interest is a form of obsession if not perversion. :speak_no_evil:

Not just that,its the intimacy that goes with it cuddling ,kissing and been affectionate

Feel your frustration, myself and my OH are going through it too, started a Thread about our experience too, for me my biggest worry was I don’t want to come over sounding selfish at such a difficult time for my OH, I know she can’t help what going through the menopause is doing to her physically and emotionally but you just can’t not think about the good time because for us, my sex drive hasn’t changed and the need is still there! Its so difficult to get things right and not sound selfish.

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Also appear to be in same boat at moment with wife. Hoping to read of positive stories from other couples who’ve come through the other side intact.

Wife’s sex drive has completely fallen off a cliff this last couple of months and her lack of affection and bad temper is starting to take its toll on me.

Hopefully things get better. I’m trying to be as patient and supportive as possible but feels like our relationship is suffering.

Yes, it’s not a huge amount of time but I prefer to address issues sooner rather than later. Thanks for suggestions, have been doing all of those, especially maintaining affection. At moment don’t know conclusively if it is menopause but she’s nearly 51 and there are other changes which point that way.

Interested to read about other couples who’ve managed to negotiate this phase successfully both in terms of sexual relationship but also overall wellbeing and maintaining close bond.

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It’s absolutely :100: a hard time not only for you but her as well. Take small steps encourage her to see a doctor as it breaks ur heart to see her this way. Stay affectionate holding hands cuddles ect. Have an honest chat about how u also feel. We are nearly 2 years in it’s not easy but we have put things in place date nights (may leed to sex may not ) no pressure. We mutually masturbate so win win. Or I masturbate using videos or pics of her /us. Not all things are easy. But they are worth fighting for

That’s my wife 100%.Moods are really bad.
Still love her

What age range does it generally appear?

Wife is 53. Been 4 years

In the same boat but over a decade since I last got laid. My wife acknowledges that menopause is the issue but not yet motivated to start hormone therapy. It needs to be her choice, not my suggestion. That being said, I have become rather creative in my self play over the years. Regardless, she is 10 years older than me but we have had a long term relationship and truly are partners. Our life cycles just don’t match up. Sex is great and I am all in but it doesn’t make the relationship.

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Like everything to do with the menopause, its hot and cold, her temperature mostly, her mood, sleeping and sex is no different, we can go weeks without a sniff of sex then like this weekend it’s been sex Friday night, last night and already making noices about tonight!!
Unfortunately the menopause is something that even women don’t fully understand so as men we have no hope, for me all I can do is support her through it and remember through no fault of her own one day she’ll be beelzebub and then next she’ll be Adriana Chechik!!

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Totally respect the viewpoint. Good on you.

If the motivation / arousal isn’t there would it not be like a gym membership you hate going to? My wife tells me all the time I am supposed to eat more vegetables. I know that, but I don’t. It needs to be one’s personal decision to make any changers IMO.

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If I am reading your post correctly, are you telling me that if my wife uses a vibrator more often she will overcome menopause?

Thanks for sharing. Still piecing all the issues together for the right solution for us.

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I’ll throw my hate into the ring on this subject and I think some of our issues are also menopausal related. But I’m not positive as she also has some issues with work load and work stress. The low level of sex, about every other week, is one thing, but the lack of nonsexual physical contact, cuddling, flirting, etc is also hard to deal with. It is there however most of the time it takes me initiating it. A couple of months ago she was very affectionate and it was a time that work was not stressful. And I will say that she has been doing more of that lately so perhaps there is some hope. I at least need that.

Twenty years ago I knew our sex life would slow, but I didn’t expect it to slow to a drip or two. Now I’m concerned that it could dry up completely.

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What age ranges @Pogo69 ?