That is some great advice. 
Where does this come from? I believe both you and @Mint-Monster are younger than me and I did not think this was still a thing?
My sex education has been patchy at best, but the lasting impression I got was that if I’m not making a woman orgasm a 1000 times then I’m crap and should hang up my posing pouch.
Are we all getting duff information from somewhere?
I echo all the suggestions @SexInTheCity said, maybe make it a game, where you each write down something you’d like to try, sexting is good, some of my gallery pics were originally used for this (Uncensored) with a little message asking about what she’d like to do after seeing them.
At the end of the day, it’s the old stock answer…communicate, honestly and openly.
Regarding the idea of women not being meant to enjoy sex, i’m pushing 60 and have never had that mindset, and as far as i’m aware, neither do any of my contemporaries.
That’s interesting. Has any man on here ever been told that a woman isn’t meant to enjoy sex? Or, if anyone was ever under that impression, what made you think that?
The thought of having sex with someone who just wasn’t that into it seems a real turn off for me. I appreciate that people are going to like different things and ‘liking sex’ won’t guarantee that they’d like the same things I do, but I definitely want an enthusiastic (or at least sympathetic ) person to play with. It doesn’t sound much fun otherwise.
I must and had to admit that a long time ago while still in the middle of the act a lady once said that she needed to have bedroom re decorated , needless to say I got off and got dressed and fooled off home 
lol such it life never went back what’s that say about me I do not know 
?
@Serpentwand - Haha. That old chestnut. The funny thing is I do actually dream about it 
@WillC - He’s told me about the things he likes, but I consider them quite common/normal. Mine is a bit more “niche” shall we say. While I don’t think mine could be easily explored, I suppose being honest about what I like is more the thing that’s annoying me. I’m happy to keep it just as a fantasy. But you’re right - communication is key.
@WelshCouple91 - I definitely think our sex life has become better after introducing things like toys and anal. So maybe introducing the other stuff can add to it further? Thanks for sharing.
@Ian_Chimp - Safe, legal and all that jazz (not sure about the sane part, though ). I know he’s very anti-kink shame, but I don’t know how he’d react to mine. It’s not exactly one of the well known ones. He doesn’t have to get involved as I’m happy to keep it all fantasy based. But part of me thinks he has a right to know at least? 
This can be very true. While I don’t think he would do anything bad, I guess it makes the conversation a bit more awkward. You think you know everything about your partner only for something to come out of left field can be jarring.
Some great ideas. Thank you 
Sorry - I may not have worded that in the most clear way. I guess instead of woman “not meant to enjoy sex” it’s more about a woman’s pleasure not being recognised or the goal. The research done into the “orgasm gap” evidences this, with women in heterosexual relationships having a significantly lower percentage of orgasms than their male counterparts.
None of the sex education focuses on female pleasure, and the goal is always seen as male ejaculation through PIV sex, of which approximately 70-80% of women will not orgasm through without additional clitoral stimulation. A lot of the education for women having sex is purely based on the reproductive system. So I think you were lucky to even hear the words “female” and “orgasm” in the same sentence, but it’s definitely reassuring 
The discourse around female pleasure is definitely changing, and that is really positive, but I think what myself and @Mint-Monster were saying is that that mindset can be difficult to shift if you’ve been brought up with male pleasure and ejaculation being the goal.
Hope that’s a little clearer
I’m only responsible for my own. Mrs Chimp can have as many as she wants.
Does that stat include solo play?
I’m pretty sure that’s what most of my mates thought/think too? It might not have been on the curriculum, but that’s the gist of how we judged what enjoyable sex was.
Edit: Thinking about it, isn’t that why women have to fake orgasms? To call time on the disappointing sex? That’s the green light to say we can stop thinking about grandma.
It makes you wonder where they got the stats, i make sure my OH has at least 3 to my one!
I’m 30, but even a few younger girls I know have that mindset. “Oh, no! I never masturbate! That’s dirty! Why do that when I have a man to please?” type of thing (I know some are probably lying, though).
@SexInTheCity is right - our sex ed never focused on female pleasure. Only male ejaculations and procreation. It gives you the impression that sex is just for pleasing men and making babies - not for your own pleasure. You’re just there to take it. Grin and bear it. If you enjoy it then there’s something wrong.
Other things like in porn for example, videos could be titled something like “slut loves rough sex” which can further solidify the thought that only “sluts” or “freaks” enjoy sex. I know that’s wrong because anyone and everyone can enjoy sex. Female pleasure shouldn’t be disregarded because there is no “use” for it. The clitoris is the only part of the human body that’s sole purpose is pleasure. It’s also twice as sensitive as the penis. Why would I not want to touch it? Haha 
Whenever me or my partner go out, we often jokingly ask each other how many times we’ve masturbated while being home alone. “What? You’ve only done it once? I would have been on my forth by now”
I think I can safely say that I’m the winner in the orgasm race (even if it’s just through masturbation).
Isn’t nice to have a laugh about it though? My OH often says “Eyes right sunshine” when we go to the local Aldi, which is next to a gym, pointing out hot ladies in their lycra, cos she knows i’d be looking anyway!
Also, the messages some baby boomers gave their daughters… no sex before marriage, men don’t respect women afterwards etc… all very distorted and damaging. Almost as if they were scared of their daughters enjoying sex too much and getting pregnant? Social conditioning.
I would honestly be upfront about it, look at it the other way, if your partner had a hidden fettish/secret act that turned them on, wouldn’t you want them to open up about it so you enjoy it together?
I know i would want my wife to tell me about something like that so i could help her with it!
Definitely!
We used to have this running joke of me asking for something random and his response would be “Only if you let me do you up the bum 
”. Damn! He’s got me there.
However, after the first time we had anal sex (which was only very recently) I held out my hand to him like I was expecting something.
“What’s that for?”
“I’d like to cash in all my only if you let me do you up the bum IOUs, please. Ker-Ching!”
Haha. I can’t even remember what the things were. I should have wrote them down
We always laugh about my OH’s dad. When we were courting he always asked my OH if she was wearing an underskirt! As if it was a form of contraception that would foil my advances!
Hi there @Mint-Monster (hunny became mint? Oooo - OK )
The “in bed” bit might be half the problem. Rather than leaving it until the heat of the moment to ask for a thing, maybe you and your OH should deliberately set aside some time - as often as you like - to sit down over a coffee (maybe not alcohol? I dunno…) and have a “these are the things I really get off on/fantasise about” honesty session. Golden rule: both parties are allowed to say “I don’t think I could do that”; neither party is allowed to go “Eeeewww!” - i.e. no kink-shaming. It may feel massively embarrassing to start with, but if your OH is as encouraging as you say he is, I think you’ll get over that hurdle. This may sound an odd thing to say, but basically, you want to be talking about your kinks and desires in the same way as if you were choosing a new washing machine!
Yeah, I noticed people would sometimes call me “honey” so the alert wouldn’t pop up for me. My fault for spelling it like that, haha
Yes, I think you’re right. Leaving bedroom chat in the bedroom may not be the best. No, definitely no kink shaming from either of us. Thanks for sharing
Another thought (I will shut up in a minute, honest! 
)… Do you and your OH ever browse the LH website together? Looking at products and discussing them can be a good way of bringing a topic into conversation. It’s fun, too!
Yes. Whenever there’s a sale on we look together to see if there is something either of us find interesting and I can use my member discount. I have loads of things in my drawers, so I don’t think there is anything missing when it comes to the toy/bondage/lingerie stuff.
However, I don’t think Lovehoney really caters to my kink exactly. Haha.