This is a topic where you can copy and paste your reviews from the shopping site and put them here on the forum. 
For full instructions on how to do this please see @Ian_Chimp’s post below.
If you followed a filter link here to see a particular member’s reviews then they should all be grouped together underneath this one. 
Happy reading!
by @Blonde_Bunny, 06 Apr 2020
Womanizer Premium Smart Silence Clitoral Stimulator
Lay back my friends, hear my words hear me speak, of how the Womanizer fixed me and made me complete.
It’s a tale of sorrow, and how I lost hope, but fret not my listeners, it’s a story of hope.
I purchased this toy some few months ago, it taught me to climax, my very first O.
A fable not fiction, of pressures and friction, and here’s how I did it, my detailed description.
So easy for some, years trying to cum, I felt so deflated, my body felt numb.
I felt cheated and lied, too long had I cried, the whole of my life, orgasm denied.
So many toys tried, my collection built wide, none of them worked, I was broken inside.
Not much of a goal, just a need to be whole, my world to be shaken, my mind and my soul.
I wept like a baby, then thought possibly maybe, I bought this new toy and Lovehoney saved me.
Orgasm chasing, my heart was now racing, the back of my head my eyes would be facing.
Female biology and air pulse technology, both had been mastered to build this new prodigy.
Such a simple manoeuvre this Henry the Hoover, clitoral sucker and climax improver.
A small spot of lube, one hand on my boob, from suction smart silence, I wait to be screwed.
Lay back on my hips, spread open my lips, found the right choice of the two option tips.
Pushed onto my clit, no option to quit, I went with the feelings I couldn’t submit.
In no time at all, I’m near climbing the wall, turn up the power and wait for the thrall.
I’m reeling I’m screaming, my eyes are now streaming. The temperatures rising the windows are steaming.
Dripping with sweat, it’s coming I’m wet, this soaking squirt climax I’ll never forget.
It built it came slow, and then the big O, I now had the taste and would never let go.
I thought I had cum, wait another’s begun, it’s happening again, could it be more than one?
Soaking and shaking, true feelings not faking, I’m finished, I’m done, no more for the taking.
So thrilled I could weep, collapsed in a heap, the cost of this climax, it didn’t come cheap.
But all is not lost, fine things they do cost, all other vibrators will be thrown and be tossed.
So don’t be too pensive, it’s features extensive, please hear me to see why it’s so expensive.
The decadent styling so smooth and beguiling, the look of this toy cannot stop you smiling.
Unrivalled high spec, and smart silence tech, this toy will destroy you, a dribbling wreck.
Waterproof power to take in the shower, full charge is reached in less than an hour.
2 sizes of heads, 12 settings to tread, there’s options for all so don’t be misled.
With new automatics for hands free fanatics, the pleasure it gifts you will leave you exctatic.
A cute bag to hide it, to sneak it to sly it, I know you’re now thinking that you want to try it.
Just click it just buy one, just give it a test run, I promise you this, you’ve got hours of fun.
Hear my words hear me preach, of this lesson I teach, orgasms for all, everyone of us each.
We can all learn to scream, you’ll see what I mean, you’ll end up like me, an orgasm queen.
It’s now priceless and precious and worth all that money, I’ll ever be grateful, I love you Lovehoney.
XxX
Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars
Pros: It’s cute, it’s divine, and forever it’s mine.
Cons: Nothing, a zero. It saved me, my hero.
Bottom Line: Give in and succumb, this will force you to cum.
by @Blonde_Bunny, 29th February 2020
Lovehoney Beaded Sensual Glass Dildo 7 Inch
I now have quite a few dildos in a variety of sizes, shapes, girths and textures. I regard myself an amateur faux cock connoisseur and I’m slowly building quite the reputable collection. But this is only my second glass toy in my box (cough). Ive become a bit of a ‘girth girl’ so to speak. I’m in my 20’s and consider myself quite modestly tight, however I find myself craving that full and stretched to the limit feeling. Reading the reviews of this I was more than excited to put this up in my basket…
From looking at the pictures I thought at first the 4.25” beaded design doesn’t look that big - I already own dildos with bigger girth- but from experience I knew that this is where glass play cums into its own.
I won’t bore you with the whole delivery and packaging process, you all know too well how discreet the procedure is and how Lovehoney are masters of under 24 hour logistics. Praise be for next-day mail order orgasms.
Upon opening the box, the first thing that stole my heart was the beautifully subtle, soft and luxurious drawstring bag the dildo comes contained in. It really gave the fantasy of receiving a piece of priceless bespoke crystalline craftsmanship, obtained from a master artisan jeweller, and that’s exactly how the dildo looks as well. Perfection doesn’t touch the surface of how this glistened in the light of our bedroom the first night I tried this.
I can honestly tell you that contrary to other reviews, lubes were not needed. Simply holding the well-sized, totally solid and subtly cool shaft of this was enough to genuinely, hand on heart, have me dripping. There is just something that toys like this can do to a girl (or man perhaps) that no realistic-looking or flexible dildo can. The unrelenting firmness of toys like this just offer another level of arousal, pleasure and sensation that I’m certain many women have not yet experienced and are completely and blissfully unaware of until indulging into the world of glass dildos and plugs.
First use.
I’ve cum close to death by dick before, but this near finished me. Pushing, almost forcing that solidly unyielding, unforgivingly hard bulb of a head into my quite tight self was truly unbelievable and almost impossible to describe, I don’t feel words can do justice in recreating that moment. The way the shaft unforgivingly gifts you the next bead means that immediately after the initial push of entry, I could feel my opening tightly grip the shaft and all I could do was push with anticipation into the next bulge. I could feel my body clasp each individual bulb after pushing them in one by one and my muscles physically pulled the dildo deeper into me, almost drawing it further in uncontrollably each time. I was left with the sensation of it being held tight inside, locked in just by the sheer size of those bulbous, engorged beads. It felt comfortably trapped on the inside of me as if my body was not willing to let this glass fulfilment leave. The strong tension and release of the pleasing struggle pulling it back out, then the breakthrough pressure of plunging it back in is just another indescribable pleasure this dildo enforces upon you. You really feel each ball ‘popping’ in and out all the way. The overall length is absolutely perfect, it’s relentlessly long enough that I cannot yet take all of the first 5 balls and 7 inches to that final swollen bulb so I’m sure I have a lot more exploring to do.
The glass itself is cool to the touch to begin with but soon warms with use and when it’s soaking wet. With the entire toy being glass, it obviously has no surface friction what so ever and it’s undeniably arousing to see the wetness shine all along and around it. This also makes cleaning the simplest of all dildos I own.
Now to that BIG end ball I know you’ve all been dewy eyeing… That swollen 5.75” girth, stretching destroyer. To be quite honest this is the reason I bought it. Flip this dildo around, ease it in with a little force and feel your body near snatch it from your hand… This literally made me cum and cry in unison as soon as my opening gave way to it and sucked it straight to my G-Spot. If you haven’t found your G-spot before, then this will find it for you in seconds. I will give one minor word of warning. If you are a known squirter, or as with me only rarely and often caught off guard, then this big end ball will make you gush! Not trickle but rain! It hits that deep internal spot to a point you simply cannot hold any longer! I was left panting like an animal while dripping like a drainpipe. Pass me the towels.
I haven’t tried this for anal yet, but I can tell you without a doubt at some point this will be going in my bum!
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: The huge end ball for me!
Cons: I want all the beads this big.
Bottom Line: Great for smaller holes but sublime for a stretch!
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by @Blonde_Bunny, 03 Jun 2020
Dame Arc Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator
Years I had spent searching helplessly to find my G-spot, and then with the help of Lovehoney and the Greedy Girl Rabbit, I got there and found that treasure trove of pleasure. Since that fateful discovery, G-spot stimulation is an essential erotic escapade for me, so this new tailor-made toy I had to try.
Spoiler alert - this toy is mind-blowing! Bye bye bunny, my rabbit will have to find a new hole to hide.
I won’t be monotonous and bore you with the delivery process, we all know how quick and private it always is. Let’s just say (and sorry again for the spoiler) it came nearly as fast as I did - albeit far more discreetly…
The boxing has a slightly medical appearance but you have to bear in mind that this toy has been scientifically designed by female sexual-health and well-being specialists for one purpose alone, medical-grade gushing!
The vibrator has a completely bespoke shape, crafted to target that exact secret spot. The enlarged and bulbous head with a slightly beaked tip apply pressure and pinpointed stimulation directly into your G-spot. The body is completely solid with no flexibility, allowing precise pressure and leverage to be applied. The head itself is firm but actually quite soft so it really doesn’t feel intimidating.
Once inserted, I found it best to gently rock the toy up and down (not in and out) on the lowest setting to begin with, then slowly increase the power and rocking motion to get me there fast. I say gently, but after a minute or two I can get quite rough, then with some slight and shallow thrusting I’m soon shaking and screaming.
I’ve come close to death by dick before but the first time I used this I nearly wept.
Hands-free fun with this toy also needs to be mentioned. More than once now I’ve cum from completely hands-free play with this. The swollen head holds itself firmly locked inside you, so you can lie back with a full, filled feeling while letting the deep rumbles take you uncontrollably over the edge - multiple times.
With five levels of power and five vibrating patterns, you’re going to find a lot of different ways to play. The sequences don’t do much for me as I’m a consistent and uninterrupted power girl, but I’m sure many will love these options.
News flash! - It’s not just for internal stimulation!
My clit loves this vibrator just as much as I do. It delivers deep and powerful vibrations that rival many of my wands. The broad head drives deep reverberating rumbles that are quite widely dispersed thus stimulating not only your clit, but echoing into and around your vulva too. The pointed tip is also just sensational when hooked up and pressed directly into your clit - trust me you’ll want to try this.
Bathtime will never be the same again - apologies to my rubber ducky, you’re not the only one squeaking in the tub now. Not only is it bath and shower safe, it’s soaking, shivering, squirt safe too. Firm, powerful G-spot stimulation is a guarantee that I’ll gush, and this toy is no exception. The first time I climaxed using this I was soaked and dripping like a drain pipe.
Of course, being waterproof and totally silicone coated, cleaning is a breeze. Either wash with warm soapy water, wave over with sex toy wipes or whip out your Lovehoney cleaning spray and leave to dry until your next back-arching adventure.
The battery life of this toy is astonishing. I’ve only charged it once and that was before first use, but it still hasn’t gone flat yet. This could be due to that fact that it’s just that powerful I’ve yet to manage more than 20 minutes play each time before collapsing on the edge of unconsciousness in a heaving, soaking heap.
All I can say is this is by far the most powerful and perfect G-spot toy I’ve ever had between my legs. I won’t be throwing away my Greedy Girl rabbit just yet as I do love combined clitoral stimulation sometimes, but when I just want a huge soaking, shaking and explosive internal orgasm, this will be the toy I now reach for.
Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars
Pros: So soft, so pretty, so addictive.
Cons: Nothing, and I hate not giving a negative.
Bottom Line: Bye bye bunny, you’ll have to find a new hole to hide.
by @Blonde_Bunny, 18th October 2020
Lovehoney Jewelled Heart Metal Large Butt Plug 3.5”
I purchased this for myself as the next and final step up in sizes of my much-loved Lovehoney Steel Jewel Heart butt plugs. Yes, I now have the complete full set and sizes - just call me the Queen of Hearts. There’s something so undeniably sexy and innocently sweet yet kinky about these steel jewel plugs, and as my love and experience of anal sex has grown, so has my appetite and craving for size.
I won’t bore you with the delivery and packaging process, we all know how discreet it always is. Let’s just say (and sorry for the spoiler) it came nearly as fast as I did the first time this was inside me.
As with all of Lovehoney’s own-brand toys, the packaging is simple, sexy and far from smutty. The plug is carefully wrapped to prevent any damage, scratches or markings to it’s perfectly mirror shined finish. The description states a modest 3.75” circumference, I’ve measured this and I’m stunned to find that is actually correct as it really feels so much bigger. It’s just as heavy as I’d hoped and I was quite literally weak at the knees waiting to get this inside me.
It takes a little more lubrication, time and effort to insert than the smaller ones but the teardrop shape allows gentle and consistent stretch when slowly pushing it in, and when my body finally relents, when that huge steel bulb pops in and lodges firmly and securely into place, the feeling is to die for. It is ecstasy at its purest.
The added weight is also a huge improvement and turn-on as I’ve found I just crave that full, heavy feeling that only these solid metal plugs provide. The steel itself is sensationally ice cold to begin with but soon warms when inserted. Some may find that a negative but I find it breathtaking - quite literally.
For me these steel plugs are unlike any other toy for anal play, I absolutely love dildos in my bum but it’s the thin neck of these plugs I love during masturbation. Cumming with this inside me and feeling my uncontrollable muscle contractions between my pussy and around my ass gripping, twitching and squeezing that solid and slim steel neck leaves me gasping and speechless.
The final reason I love these plugs so much is I find them super safe. The stunningly pretty flared heart base combined with that very slender stem style neck means I never have a single fear about them coming out - or going in! - during sex, solo play and of course most importantly for me, when I’m wearing them out secretly in public.
I was still a little concerned prior to purchase as some other reviews mentioned the risk of this one actually slipping up inside you. I myself had no such problems and I can be quite a rough girl when masturbating, especially during intense orgasms. I’ve had no issues, but everyone is different and caution should always be taken when using any anal insertable.
In summery, this larger plug might provide a challenge to those who haven’t used many anal sex toys before, and if you’re a complete beginner you might want to go for a smaller circumference to ease you in gently… However, as an anal sex-toy pro I find this steel butt plug is verging on perfection. It’s versatile enough to give me additional pleasure during any sexual activity that I could possibly imagine. I totally recommend this to anybody wanting to try something a bit bigger yet still a very manageable size.
As I’ve said with other steel jewel plugs, I’m certain there is still no greater thrill in the world than seeing your gorgeous wife walk into the bedroom wearing nothing but a tight bound corset, suspenders and crotchless thongs, bending over and seeing this little pink gem nestled tight inside her. I love it that much I’m even wearing it writing this review right now…
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: The size and weight leaves me weak at the knees.
Cons: Do they make a bigger one?
Bottom Line: Provides prettiest and fullest filling I could ask for!
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by @Blonde_Bunny, 20th August 2020
Lovehoney Super Soft Silicone Galaxy Dildo 7 Inch
They say no one can hear you scream in space, I beg to differ. While stargazing the vast abyss of latest sex toys, I spotted this gorgeous new galactic dildo land on the surface of the Lovehoney website. Just looking at it, I knew I needed this in my world.
As with all of Lovehoney’s own-brand toys, the packaging is simple but still sultry and stylish. Hey, not all dildos need balls, bells and whistles. It’s only the D that interests me.
Not only is this dazzling dildo staggeringly pretty, it has all the features me and my G-Spot look for - A firm structure that’s not too flexible, a heavily swollen and engorged style head followed by the bunched ripple of a retracted foreskin, frenulum and a prominent protruding ridge down the length of a narrower shaft. Combine that with a celestial space-grade suction cup, I knew I’d soon be seeing stars.
The feel and flexibility of this toy is out of this world. Some dildos can feel a little too stiff during longer vigorous playtimes, but this soft silicone is forgiving when clenched and flexible enough it doesn’t become uncomfortable. The length is near perfect for me, I can confidently sit on and take the entire 7”s without it feeling too threatening and invasive towards my cervix - this is especially important to me when being bounced upon to the base. Did someone say space hopper?
The description states a tame 4.5” girth, I can tell you that it feels generously thicker than that, especially on first entry. That combined with the stiff but gentle upward curve of the shaft - and the extremely pronounced, bulging and bulbous head - gives me that full, filled feeling while it rubs firmly against the front wall of my vagina and my G-spot. With some short, shallow and very quick thrusts, it soon leaves me screaming and squirting, gasping then gushing, and I can now prove there is definitely water in space - and my bathroom floor.
The suction cup base is astonishing. I’ve docked it to the end of my bed, the edge of my bath and even my kitchen chair, I’ve given it a serious seeing to and it hasn’t moved once. Trust me, many of my toys in the past have come adrift from my chosen locations - I’m quite a rough girl, but this suction rivals the vacuum of space.
How about a voyage to Uranus for all you ass-tranauts? Of course I’ve used this dildo for anal - I’m a double penetration girl through and through and my god it hits the spot. The sizing is perfect to give me that tight filled feeling while still not being overly intimidating. The length is plentiful for anal play and the large swollen head gives just the right amount of challenging stretch on entry before it gives way to the slimmer shaft - I found it holds itself inside you incredibly well too, so I can leave it there like a butt plug to fill that deep-space while using another toy next to it.
And yes, this Galaxy styled dildo is strap-on harness compatible too, just call me R2D-Cup baby - Princess Leia’s buns are nothing compared to mine!
Being totally silicone, cleaning is simple. Wash with warm soapy water, wave over with sex toy wipes or whip out your Lovehoney cleaning spray and leave to dry until your next explosive take-off.
If you’re searching for a gorgeous looking dildo that’s both stunning in apearance and performance then this is it. It’s sensational for vaginal, anal, G-Spot and P-Spot play. It’ll leave you screaming and shaking, shivering and soaking. When you’ve finished with this interstellar dildo you’ll leave it shimmering and shining (and dripping) like the creamy Milky Way.
☆ ☆ All the stars in the galaxy out of 10! ☆ ☆
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: So gorgeous, so universal and infinitely orgasmic!
Cons: A black hole of nothings.
Bottom Line: My husband now knows what I mean when I say I just need space!
by @Blonde_Bunny, 19th April 2020
Bondage Boutique Black Bound to Please Under Mattress Restraints
This was my first venture into bondage and restraints of any kind. I’ve always had a little disobedient demon deep inside me, whispering for me to dip my tiny toe into the borderland of BDSM, but never did I think I’d take the plunge, feet, legs and arms first, into having myself constrained and bound to my bed.
I’m a young petit girl and uncharacteristically rather wild in the sheets. You know what they say about the quiet ones. I’ve always had a forbidden fantasy of being completely subdued and restrained, held captive at the mercy and subordination of another, it secretly sexually aroused me beyond belief. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me…
I always assumed that one would need to be the privileged of high society to own a large four-poster bed for the capabilities of being fully tied and tethered to each corner. How wrong I was. Even poor little peasant me can now turn my dreary double divan into a tantalising torcher table. This item wasn’t on a discount offer but even at this full price it would’ve been insanity to not explore this. And for a change this would be something from Lovehoney’s basket that wouldn’t be going up mine.
I won’t bore you with the delivery and packaging process, we all know how discreet it always is, and for this particular order that was extremely important for me. After opening the delivery box I was surprised to see the packaging of the restraint kit was very basic and hides nothing, a clear cellophane bag is the only covering. But fret not my friends, you could easily mistake this purchase for a simple set of straps used in the haulage industry, I know I did when I opened the box, but that’s where the similarities ended and my heart started racing.
I actually chose the inconspicuous white strap option apposed to the black or purple, purely for the fact that I planned to leave this set up and ready to use permanently under my bed. I knew being white it would blend into my bedding and bedroom decor, it would be quite unnoticeable. On the contrary, if anyone did dare to look under my bed, these restraints would be the smallest of their shocks. I also didn’t want to have to set this whole kit up every time I needed punishment, let’s face it, that’s quite often.
Actually fitting this to my double bed was extremely easy. They simply spread out, sit underneath your mattress and hang from all four corners ready for the naughtiest little nympho. Adjust the lengths accordingly and it’s as easy as pie. But I will be honest, I did have the help of my husband to set up this up ready for me, I mean for us, no it’s definitely for me.
Simple but strong padded velcro shackles hold all limbs firmly to each corner of your makeshift bondage-bed in your new bawdy boudoir. Once wrapped to your ankles and wrists they clip easily to the ready and waiting straps. I was happily surprised to find wearing these a lot more comfortable than I expected, they’re actually quite soft on your skin and trust me I’ve been pulling at them quite roughly.
The ideal scenario in my secret servitude mind would’ve been to somehow tie myself down alone, wait for my husband to walk in and find me bound on our bed in the most scandalous of lingerie, but that would have been physically impossible for obvious reasons and probably quite unsafe if he was late home from work. I’m all for risqué sex play but safety definitely comes first, and if I’m a good girl I may even be allowed to cum second. So I waited and let him take full control, strap me down and stretch me out… (no pun intended I promise).
I was stunned how strong this set is. I can take some pinning down but these restraints soon put an end to my wildest wiggling. Honestly, once you’re tied down you’re not getting away by any means, these will restrain the most feral of females. The lengths of each individual strap being fully adjustable allows some freedom of movement, that’s if your subduer was to permit this, but that’s not for me or you to decide.
One final word of warning, and please beware. This is likely to open many new doors in your bedroom indulgences, it certainly has for me. So what’s next? Who knows, hours of edge play and orgasm denial, maybe a ball gag to silence my screams and shush my salacious mouth, most definitely whips to punish my new wicked ways… Oh Lovehoney, what have you made me become.
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: The simplicity of design, the comfort, the strength and of course the discretion.
Cons: I probably would’ve struggled installing it on my own.
Bottom Line: Great value for money and endless bed compatibility means punishments for all!
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by @Blonde_Bunny, 13th July 2020
THRUST Pro Elite Lexi Rechargeable Vibrating Masturbator 21kg
I want to state this is a review from a female point of view as well as how my husband enjoyed it. I wanted Lexi in my life as much - if not more - than he did. I doubt I’m alone in being a woman who desires some secret girl on girl play too.
We both have an untouched fantasy for a threesome involving another girl, sounds fantastic right? Well, I’m quite the jealous Jane so this was a perfect option for both of us.
We’re not new to the Thrust Pro Elite range, we already own a much loved 7kg Katya pussy and bum. But when I saw the full size Lexi land on the Lovehoney website, my heart melted as I fell head over heels for her.
I’m sure you’ll want to know how she arrived to our door, as you can imagine she’s a big and full-sized girl. But panic not, I can tell you she didn’t turn up in a taxi, this item arrived in the usual inconspicuous packaging - albeit somewhat questionable in weight. Yes Mr Postman, it’s just a bag of potatoes in that plain brown box… cough
Inside the box, Lexi is packaged in another brown box and polystyrene inserts.
She’s sealed inside a clear cellophane bag and well covered in the silky soft renewing powder, the feel of this is unbelievably life-like and undeniably inviting. The material itself has no real smell to it so that’s a huge plus too.
She’s heavy, don’t be misled, at 21kg’s she weighs more than a bag of cement, so bare this in mind especially when lifting her and thinking of storage. On the plus side, there’s no way she’ll move around on your bed even with the most vigorous of thrusting. From feeling her back I would also guess that there’s a frame deep inside that helps keep her structure.
The attention to detail is astonishing, the perfectly shaped and life-sized breasts with erect nipples, voluptuous vulva and luscious lickable lips are so life-like it’s surreal. Honestly it’s breathtaking - and that’s before you’ve even plunged inside.
With plenty of water-based lube applied deep into both of her openings, I was the first to explore her. Teasing my fingers into her felt just like the real thing - trust me, this I know well. The tight openings followed by varying textures and ridges honestly felt as though I was playing with myself. She’s tight but forgivingly stretchy, firm yet so squishy. Honestly I was getting off from just fingering her. Seeing my lubed fingers glistening around her clit and lips was undeniably arousing, she was almost as wet and dripping as me.
My husband was second to sample her sexually and has used and abused both holes thoroughly. He feels the ass is considerably tighter, both on entry and within the canal - sounds authentic to me!
Regardless of this narrower option he’s a pussy lover through and through so that’s his favoured hole. He commented in specific on the varying widths and textures within both the canals, changing from looser to tighter, firmer and rougher and then even changing directions at times.
Depths of both pussy and ass are more than ample although my husband can reach the bottom if he’s really rough, but he finds this only adds to the realism and the sensations of when his penis would press my cervix and if nothing else it’s a massive ego boost!
My husband isn’t a huge lover of vibrations so we’ve yet to try the remote control vibes whiles he’s actually inside her, but I have activated them while fingering her and my god… they’re potently powerful and rival the rumbles and strength of my own wands. Being rechargeable and remotely controlled only adds further excitement and options for my dominant control.
Cleaning is simple, flush out using the provided water douche, or like us, using a showerhead. Transporting Lexi into the bath is a little challenging for myself but my husband is quick enough to jump at the opportunity of taking her to have some alone shower time.
After washing and applying sex-toy cleaning spray, Lexi air dries well when left in the open, but I advise using rolled and twisted kitchen towel to dry the canals. When dry, we apply the recommended conditioning powder which leaves her feeling smooth, soft, silky and ready for our next female fantasy. This may sound a laborious task, but all good women need a little love and care.
I can tell you we’ve found no greater thrill than both being involved using this toy together. To watch her large, firm and supple breasts roll and bounce while he’s on top of her or to turn her over and hold her ass while he’s inside her is to die for. I’ll definitely be donating my most scandalous thongs and bra to her for an even fuller fantasy foreplay.
If you’re looking to satisfy that perfect, problem free three-way, or just a guy wanting a new girl in his life then this is as close as you can get to the real thing. She may be expensive, but all classy girls are! And for us she’s considerably cheaper than a disastrous threesome resulting in divorce.
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: So lifelike it’s scary!
Cons: She really is a big and heavy girl…
Bottom Line: She is absolutely stunning and I love her!
by @Blonde_Bunny, 4th May 2020
Lovehoney Perfect Pair Silicone Nipple Suckers
I’d been looking at these for quite a while, completely uncertain of what they could actually achieve for me, but undeniably curious. I’d even heard a tantalising tale that some women can reach orgasm from nipple stimulation alone. Intrigued? So was I… I’ve also (and I both blame and thank Lovehoney) become very much the secret submissive and crave elements of mild pain inflicted upon my body in our bedroom. These nipple suckers seemed to tick both boxes of what I was looking for so they went straight in my basket.
The packaging was very simple but pretty and stylish like all of Lovehoneys own products. Inside the small box the suckers are contained in a sealed plastic bag. I was delighted with the size of these, they were exactly as I expected, they felt firm and strong and the was no bad smell to the silicone either.
So, do they work? Yes, yes, OMFG yes!
I haven’t got the largest or most sensitive nipples anyway, but after having these gently and continuously sucking them for about 10 minutes, they were so swollen and engorged. When I pulled them off and first touched them, I hand on heart nearly came there and then.
I found it best to use them during masturbation and foreplay as during sex with my husband the natural movements of my breasts (as well as plenty of manhandling from him) made them come loose and fall off several times. Used as an addition to solo play they’re a brilliant extra sensation and visual arousal. To see your nipples swollen and extended to a pumping throb is breathtaking, and that’s before you’ve even dared touch them.
Yes, of course I’ve tried one on my clit. Don’t pretend you won’t. I put a little lube on one of the suckers, spread my lips and placed it straight over my clit. Although I instantly felt it being drawn in and swelling, this wasn’t my favourite way of using them. My clit needed to be already very swollen and fully exposed to get a good hands free latch which makes using them this way a bit more difficult, and the suction feeling wasn’t as overwhelmingly pleasurable as I’d hoped, although it could obviously be different for others. It’s a much stronger, intense and consistent suction than using the Womanizer, for example. I did however have an extremely engorged and throbbing clit as soon as I pulled this off, and that in itself was extremely erotic, both to look at and attempt to touch without crying and cumming.
The fact that these work without need for batteries or vibrations mean they’re simple, silent and discreet no matter who else is in the next room.
The price of the Nipple Suckers needs to mentioned too. This is obviously not a high end, luxury or designer sex toy set, it’s a low priced almost budget item. I am however, stunned at the high level of quality of these – how can they even make things this good at that price!
I’ve yet to reach a point of toe curling, back arching nipple orgasm and maybe never will, but I’ll have a lot of fun trying. But I can tell you with all honesty, these accelerate and intensify all of my orgasms and arousal.
For me these are now a must in all of my bedroom indulgences. Whether it’s during masturbation or if they come out the drawer for BDSM, well that’s for my dominant to decide. So, is it a reward for good behaviour or punishment for the mischievous little minx I’ve become… oh what’s a girl to do?
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: Extremely easy to use, incredibly strong suction, so easy to clean.
Cons: Would love some kind of storage bag as small and get lost.
Bottom Line: Opened a whole new area of stimulation, extreme sensations and possible punishments.
Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 10th September 2020
Lovehoney Best Sex of Your Life Couple’s Sex Toy Advent Calendar
Christmas, the sexiest - and for us, the friskiest - time of the year. But with all the giving and receiving I’ve been up to these last few months, I’m definitely on the naughty list. But who said the good girls get all the gifts? And it’s not all about the presents on the big day itself - It’s the buildup to Christmas that’s the most exciting time for me.
Advent Calendars have always been a favourite of mine, but this carnal cache of toys is so much more tempting than chocolate - and tremendously more healthy for the mind and body both. So what’s inside? I’ll tell you now, you’ll get no spoilers from me. I’ll give you some sneaky snippets of some of the items that will stuff your stockings and deck your balls, but I won’t give specifics or what’s in what number door - Christmas is all about the surprise right? I can tell you though the contents of this calendar will leave you breathless, restless and feeling so much hotter than mulled wine could.
The overall size is actually a lot larger than I expected it to be and satisfyingly weighty, but at 43cm tall, a width of 27cm and modest depth of 14cm, don’t expect to find a 12 inch dildo lurking behind door number 7. The items within are each intentionally compact in size but by no means stingy. The saying “good things cum in small packages” could not be more true.
Each individual numbered door is perforated and has a clear area to indent your finger to make it easy to open just like the calendars we all know and love and each door is a different size and shape, further heightening that sense of variety, anticipation and longing for what’s to cum.
Although somewhat larger and in a hinged opening book format with magical magnetic fastenings, the classy yet Christmasy appearance and design of this looks deceptively like any other advent calendar, but that’s where the innocence ends. The gifts behind each window have been carefully, meticulously and specifically chosen to build a mind-blowing erotic experience up to and cum Christmas Eve.
Each item progressively complements the previous taking you on a journey of festive flirtation, erotic tension, tickling and a whole heap of teasing - oh, and did I mention the daily orgasms? Without revealing its entire contents, I can tell you there’s things in here that would make Santa blush redder than Rudolf’s nose.
From bondage gear to butt plugs, from penis strokers to bullet vibes, ben-wa balls and anal beads, the array of accessories is staggering. I’m far from a Sex Toy beginner but still every item in here caught my breath and made me gasp, and that was before I tried using them. And I can tell you the big finale on Christmas Eve is no anticlimax, day 24 gifted me possibly the biggest and most explosive climax of my year - If you love clitoral suction toys you’re in for a real treat… I’ll say no more.
This sex toy advent calendar is guaranteed to make your Christmas magically sexy, and if nothing else it completely overhauls your sex toy collection to transform it into a treasure trove of pleasure potential. Not only will it ignite your toy-box on fire, but it’ll introduced new things that you may not have otherwise tried. With the contents worth considerably more in total than their usual retail prices, this Calendar of kinky components represents fantastic value for money as well as a spicy boost to your sex-life up to and over the Christmas season – and well beyond that too I’m sure.
I honestly cannot recommend this enough. Whether you decide this is for you or a partner, both of you or even a gift for anyone else, I can promise you won’t be disappointed. If you weren’t on the naughty list before like myself, then you will be when you’ve worked your way through this mischievous month.
I hope you have a wonderfully naughty Christmas like us.
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: The size and weight leaves me weak at the knees.
Cons: Do they make a bigger one?
Bottom Line: Provides prettiest and fullest filling I could ask for!
Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 15th May 2020
Lovehoney Ignite 20 Function Mini Wand Vibrator
It has to be said, I’m a Wand Girl through and through. I’ve got more wands than the wicked witch of the west. When I discovered this new luscious little luxury from Lovehoney, I couldn’t help but wonder, could this new mini-wand take the top spot in my bedside drawer? Either way, a girl can never have too many toys, so this one I had to have.
I won’t be monotonous and bore you with the delivery process, we all know how quick and discreet it always is. Let’s just say (and sorry for the spoiler) - it came nearly as fast as I did.
As with all of Lovehoneys own-brand toys, the packaging is simple but sexy, sultry and stylish. A stunning little magnetic door gives you a window to the wonders yet to come. (Excuse the pun). Inside the box the miniature wand is accompanied by the charging lead and a gorgeously sexy little storage bag.
I was quite taken back by how small and lightweight this wand is. I know it’s a mini but even so, it’s tiny - but girls, you know what they say about small things. It’s borderline bullet in size so it’s so much lighter and easier to hold than full-size wands like my Doxy DieCast 3R.
Simple controls for simple minds, it didn’t take me long to puzzle out this little powerhouse. One button and three speeds of power are more than enough for me. Already being semi-charged, there was no way I wasn’t trying it out right there and then.
With one button pressed, the toy was turned on- and so was I. With a small spot of lube to my already excitedly wet self - and trembling with anticipation - I lay back and took this wand for the wildest of test drives. Again, sorry for the spoiler, but I was climbing the walls within minutes.
I have to say there’s nothing ‘mini’ about the power of this toy, I enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would. The vibrations are strong and deeply rumbly on the lower setting – but do get a little buzzy on the highest one. The lowest setting is quite subtle but as the power increases, the reverberating rumbles are dramatically driven deep into your soul.
The soft and smooth silicone head is really flexible too so you can get the right amount of pressure on your clit. That’s what wands are all about right? I’m quite a rough girl with my toys and really like pressing them firmly into me, so flexibility is a must. And because it’s a wand style with a larger broad head, the delicious vibrations are quite widely dispersed thus stimulating not only your clit, but echoing into your vulva too.
I’m not such a lover of the vibe pattern modes, although I’m sure some people will be. There’s 17 sequences of varying pulses, but I’ve never been someone who loves patterns as I find they just keep me from reaching orgasm. I’m all for edge play but for me a wand is for getting there fail-safely fast. Constant consistent power is what sends me silly - and this delivers that fast.
Noise level also needs a mention. It really is almost silent. The tiniest of hums can be heard on the lowest setting and it does get a little louder as the powers turned up, but don’t we all! However, this is by far the quietest vibrating toy in my collection.
Where this wand excels dramatically over many of my other models is I can take it in the bath. Apologies to my rubber ducky, you’re not the only one squeaking in the tub now! Not only is it bath and shower safe, it’s soaking and shivering squirt safe too - wands seem to always make me explode and this one is no exception. The first time I climaxed using this I was dripping like a drain pipe.
Of course, being fully waterproof and totally silicone coated, cleaning is a breeze. Either wash with warm soapy water, wave over with sex toy wipes or whip out your Lovehoney cleaning spray and leave to dry until your next back-arching adventure.
In summary, it’s Ignite by name and nature. It hasn’t got the edge over my big Doxy, but it still gets me there quick. It’s small in size but undeniably powerful. It’s bigger than a bullet so precision’s not pivotal. It’s rechargeable, cordless and perfect for travel. It’s pretty, petit and it now has pride of place on the side of my bath tub. Speaking of which, it’s time for a soak…
Overall Rating: 4/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: Its curiously cute, mini and mighty!
Cons: Only negative is it’s a little buzzy on high power.
Bottom Line: Perfect bath time water wand, but in bed I’ll always be a Doxy girl.
Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 19th October 2020
Lifelike Lover Classic Girthy Realistic Dildo 7 Inch
I’ll be straight up and honest with you, I own a lot of dicks. I mean A LOT of dicks. For a young married girl I really should be ashamed of myself. I already own several of Lovehoney’s Lifelike Lover range of dildos, but whenever I see the word ‘Girthy’ appear on the Lovehoney website, I can be assured the postman will be knocking on my door the following day.
As with all of Lovehoney’s own-brand toys, the packaging is simple, sexy and far from smutty. Inside the box, the dildo is sealed inside a plastic bag. The entire toy is made from soft PVC so it does have a mild plastic scent, but if you’re anything like me and obsessed with putting dildos in your mouth, I can assure you it has no taste.
Not only is it stunning to look at eye to eye, it has everything I could want from a dick. When I dream of a penis - and that’s quite often - it would look and feel just like this. It’s firm but flexible with a roadmap of thick veins down the entire shaft. It’s heavy, fat and swollen with the foreskin pulled tightly and permanently back behind a well pronounced coronal ridge collar of the head. It really is a thick dick to die for, and this ones ready to go whenever and wherever I want it.
A staggeringly pretty penis isn’t all you get with this beauty. Oh no. There are firm and weighty detailed testicles too. If you’re anything like myself and love the wet slap of balls against you (either against your clit, your bum or a butt plug depending on which way you choose to ride), you won’t be disappointed. Quite literally going down balls-deep and rubbing your clitoris against these firm full balls during masturbation makes this a gift that just keeps on giving.
Another reason I love this particular dildo is that those balls also double as a great handle for a steady grip even with heavily lubed hands. They also create a really safe stopping point making this dildo perfectly safe for anal play too - but only if you’re experienced and particularly brave like myself, oh and also have a bucket of lube.By my own measurements this fat fella offers just over 7 inches of challenging usable length and my god it’s thick with it. It may say 6”s of girth but when I measured I found it closer to 6.25” making this one of the thickest dildo I own. Almost.
The suction cup is one of the most important aspects of a dildo for me. I was concerned the weight of this willy would compromise it’s grip to my shower wall, how wrong I was. I’m a pretty rough girl but even after I’d finished abusing this beast I struggle to remove it from my tiles. It’s also fantastic to ride when positioned on the side of the bath, on the closed lid of the toilet, or my all-time favourite, sat on my tiled bathroom floor. Yes I know, I’ve been a busy girl.
I do need to mention the actual orgasms with this toy. I mean, this is all we really care about right? To feel your already stretched to the limit vaginal muscles involuntary try to clamp and contract around the thick shaft of dildos like this is just something else, there is no other sensation like it. I can only describe it as an extremely pleasurable orgasm laced with mild pulsating aches from taught muscle spasms - honestly it’s better than it sounds, in fact there is nothing better.
Even after cumming around this huge cock, it’s blissful sliding it out of myself, shuddering with the lingering sensations of my powerful climax’s as I do so and then to both feel and see the stretched state I’ve become.I’m also a massive anal lover and so I’ve tried it for this purpose several times now, but for me this dildo is just a little too big for the ways in which I really enjoy my toys. Don’t misunderstand me, it’s a fantastic size for anal play alone and with some gentle warming up - and a lot of lubricant, I can comfortably take the entire length. That alone feels amazing, but I’m an obsessive of double penetration and want all of everything inside me at once, and this is just too filling to allow me to accompany it with another dildo in my pussy. Luckily for me, I have other dildos or my husband I can use for the anal half of my DP sessions and keep this one for the front filling part of the fun.
My dildos can become a bit of a mess during my masturbation sessions, what with the combination of my uncontrollable squirting, arousal juices and the amount of lube I tend to use. Thankfully, this dildo is extremely easy to clean up after use. Wash with warm soapy water then whip out your Lovehoney cleaning spray and leave to air dry.
In summary, this luscious lifelike is wonderful for those who like me want a little - or a lot - extra girth in their pussy play or filling anal enjoyment. It’s O-ring strap on harness compatible if you or your partner are feeling particularly adventurous - and courageous. It’s a little too much to handle for the anal side of DP for me, but for the pussy-part it’s perfection.
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: It’s sensationally filling.
Cons: I have none.
Bottom Line: This is one fat fella, proceed with caution.
Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 2nd November 2020
Pleasure Wand Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo
Finally, my prayers have been answered. An affordable steel dildo that can fulfil every one of my vaginal and anal desires. I own a lot of toys, I mean A LOT of toys, all in a variety of sizes, shapes, girths and textures. I’m a real glass girl at heart, but I have to say, I’m a bit of a maniac for metal too. There’s no arguing with steel, it screams disobedience to authority. When I saw this new metal masterpiece arrive to Lovehoney, I knew it would be going straight into my collection.
The packaging of this dildo is beautiful, the toy is gifted to you in a smooth black jewellery styled box with a spectacularly eye-catching red band center. Lifting the lid, you are presented with the flawless steel wand glistening in its mirrored finish of perfection, securely positioned in a black moulded foam insert. Honestly this boxing is erotic elegance at its purest - and the toy itself is just as enrapturing.
By my own measurements, this weighty wonder has an overall length of just under 8 inches, with an insertable length of approximately 5 inches either side. The larger ball on the one end actually has a maximum circumference of 3.75 inches, while the other side’s anal balls have graduated girth’s of 2.5, 2.75 and 3 inches from small to large. If you love anal beads like myself, you’ll be thrilled to know that each are spaced about half an inch apart giving plenty of room to anally clasp the narrow 0.9 inch shaft between beads.
Being a solid steel sex toy, it can be used with whatever lube you like, although my preference is always a quality water based lube - and my all time favourite is the creamy cum style lube Lovehoney sell, you should check this out, trust me. Also, due to being completely metal, this dildo is super easy to clean after use with either warm soapy water or wipes, and because it’s steel and non-porous, the entire toy is scentless nor has the ability to retain any scents at all. Ever.
Although I’m a real lube lover, I can tell you hand on heart, I do not need any whatsoever when using this dildo. When bringing the solid shaft between my thighs to be graced with that first bitter cold kiss of icy steel to the raging hot inferno of my clit, I am dripping - and that’s before it’s even inside me.
That first dilating pop of insertion of the larger bulging head, combined with the raw cold steel coming into unity with my searing hot internal body parts, is an indescribable pleasure. It still makes me gasp every time. It leaves me breathless when the frigid, shaped metal slides inside me and I gasp again as it guides itself home to massage my G-spot with acute accuracy, and all of this requires very little effort from my fingers gripping the external section of beads.
I’m one of the lucky girls who can cum from G-spot stimulation alone, but it takes a certain kind of toy and method to get me gushing. I require very fast and firm pressure just up and inside the first two inches of my vagina with either very girthy dildos or completely solid, rigid and unforgiving toys. After some gentle rocking up and down of this dildo (not in and out) followed by some short, shallow and very quick thrusts, I’m a shaking and shivering puddle in minutes.
Now sit down my friends and let me tell you about the other end of this dildo, those beaded balls of bliss, that exhilarating scorpion tail of elation. I’m a massive anal play lover and crave the sensations of solid anal toys inside me. I lust for steel butt plugs, but beads, beads send me insane. When I combine reciprocating thrusts of these little orbs of excellence with finger stimulation to my clit, they delivered me some of the most delicious orgasms I could dream of.
The first ball is a tiny tapered teardrop, a smooth and slender tulip of easy insertion. It effortlessly slides into yourself and then is instantly snatched within. The strong tension and release, the pleasing endeavour pushing the next ball in and pulling it back out, the breakthrough pressure of plunging each bead back in and out and in again is just an indescribable pleasure this dildo enforces upon you. You really feel each solid bulge ‘popping’ in and out all the way until your anal entrance clasps tight around the thicker central shaft. This, is anal at its best, this is anal perfection.
In summery, there can be no doubt about it, this steel wand is a wondrous work of art. It’s sensational for G-spot play and gives me guaranteed gushing. It’s breathtaking for anal and the triple beads are far from intimidating, even for anal beginners, while the single balled end can provide thoroughly filling delight for more of an anal challenge. It’s pretty, its satisfyingly weightyand it’s cool in all senses of the word. It may not be the perfect toy for everyone, but I am truly in love with this versatile dildo and it now has pride of place at the top of my toy box.
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: It’s versatility and design. It’s material and wonderful weight.
Cons: I have none. I am speechless.
Bottom Line: This double ended steel gifts effortless orgasms.
Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 9th November 2020
Bondage Boutique Expandable Spreader Bar with Leather Cuffs
I am far from new to the darker world of bondage and BDSM and I’m unquestionably the sub in our home. I’m always looking for new ways to satiate my desires of being held captive in complete submission. I already own two spreader bars - ones just not enough, but neither have the option for adjustable width. After discovering my kink for spreader bars, we decided I needed something a little more challenging.
Why do I love spreader bars so much?
For me, the psychological thrill of complete and utter submission, being bound in lust, shackled and forced to receive erotic pleasures - or just as often denied it - sends me silly. Having my legs compulsively spread and firmly held wide apart leaves me uncontrollably - and quite vulnerably - totally exposed, laid bare with all areas on show and completely at my lover’s mercy, which I can tell you is spine-tinglingly erotic, not to mention it shows and builds trust with a partner.
When ordering this I was very aware this item may be large and lengthy - always a worry when purchasing erotic apparatus like this, but I can assure you the item arrived in the usual inconspicuously plain packaged, exceptionally quick and problem-free manner.
Opening the box this truly left me weak at the knees, it is stunning. The bars heavy-duty construction is metal painted in satin black with steel pins to lock your desired width. The luxurious black leather and fur-lined cuffs are totally fixed to the bar - better than my slack jingling clipped versions - yet they still comfortably pivot on the main shaft. I’m not the biggest leather lover - I know, shocking for a bondage babe right? but I have to say it visually ticks every box and more. The appearance and build quality of this instrument are staggering. It’s a lot more weighty than my other bars feel. It’s substantial and strong and it screams sexual submission.
The cuffs and padlocks themselves feel relentlessly strong - I’ve really been pulling at them fiercely - and easy enough to operate. There’s also just something devilish about padlocks that gets me giddy and leaves me shaking with excitement and sexual fear. Thankfully spare keys are included, but these are not for me to know where they’re hidden.
As I mentioned before, unlike my other Spreader-Bars, the width of this is adjustable. This is the true reason I purchased this item. For me, BDSM isn’t about comfort, I like my mind and body being pushed to its limits and I can tell you that when you spread a 5’8 girls legs at 26”s apart and keep them forced open, the pleasure you’ll be receiving is satisfyingly laced with mild aching pain and discomfort. Honestly, it’s better than you’d believe.
Of course, being totally adjustable and with large banded cuffs, the versatility is endless, I can even use this bound to my knees to offer a completely alternative spread position and a whole different variation of revealing, forced exposure, access and possible torments.
The only real downside I’ve found to this item is it doesn’t have fixed points for central additional shackles. This isn’t a massive issue for me, I’ve got more cuffs and restraints than the Tower Of London Museum and so I can soon loop a pair of my handcuffs around the bar itself to fulfil that desire or I can simply clip some of my wrist shackles to the outer padlocks. Well, I can’t, but my husband can.
In summary, even if you’re a beginner to bondage, I cannot recommend this enough. For some, the idea of this may seem a little daunting, but if the thought of being restrained, bound and fully exposed in thrilling vulnerability like this has awakened the kink queen inside you, and you want to step things up from your basic handcuffs or bed restraints, then this spreader bar is undoubtedly the risqué route for you.
I assure you, the possibilities of this item are only limited by your imagination and pleasure thresholds…
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: A perfect step up in spreader bars into mid-level BDSM.
Cons: I would have loved fixed central wrist shackle points.
Bottom Line: It’s satisfyingly heavy, it’s sturdy and it’ll keep me captured for life.
Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 23rd September 2020
Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Stroker Rabbit Vibrator
I own the original Fifty Shades Greedy Girl G-Spot rabbit and without a doubt it’s been a sensational toy for blended bliss. I’m a real Girth Girl and Power Queen alike and so I’ve always loved that long eared friend. Yet I often crave heavy G-Spot pressure and movements too, so I was pretty sure this would soon have me hopping. I did still slightly worry this would feel too familiar to my older Greedy Girl. How naive I was.
I don’t normally care about packaging, but the black and silver Fifty Shades Of Grey boxing is truly stunning and I can’t imagine myself ever disposing of it. Nestle next to the bunny is a silver satin drawstring storage pouch, USB charging lead, instruction and care leaflet - but a serious lack of warnings about the ferocity of this toy.
After coaxing this bunny out of his box, it’s appearance seems similar to its predecessor. That’s not a bad thing, it’s breathtaking to look at and hold. It’s satisfyingly weighty and the entire design and appearance screams luxury laced with sexual disobedience. It’s seamless and smooth and soft with an almost velvet-like texture, it truly leaves you breathless with anticipation as you imagine how it will feel inside of you.
Like the original Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit, it’s waterproof and rechargeable and it’s also body-safe silicone coated making it super simple to clean with wipes or warm soapy water. I put it straight on charge but my greed and inpatience got the better of me, so after just 30 minutes I could wait no more. I’m a greedy girl by nature and want all of everything now.
First Use.
I eagerly smothered this bunny in water-based lube, and just like my older version, the swollen, curled head required a satisfying amount of force needed to insert until my body gave way to that slimmer yet filling shaft. Due to that enormous bulbous head, I found myself unable to do any real thrusting or moving of this toy, but the amazing thing is I didn’t need to.
This bunnies a big boy it has to be said. The insertable length may only be 5.5”s, but it’s the eye watering circumference that gets me giddy. Honestly, when this is inside you it is extremely filling. It seems like once I have the head pressed against my G-spot and those ears smothering my exposed clit and inner labia, my vagina involuntarily, but very pleasurably, clamps down on these bunnies so fiercely it doesn’t let go. I’m a lazy masturbator at times, the less I have to be involved, the better, and a hands free orgasm or two is always a thrilling option for me.
I turned on the almost silent flittering clit ears and shaft vibrator, which felt incredible caressing each side of my clit and also rumbling deeply inside me, but it felt a little too familiar to my older rabbit and so I won’t lie, I felt a little cheated and underwhelmed. But as with any new toy, its all in the testing, trial and perseverance. I turned on the G-Spot stroking motion to see if I could improve my current anticlimax situation. Interesting, very interesting.
Unbeknownst to me I hadn’t positioned it quite correctly against my G-Spot, so, me being me, I decide to go from zero to 60 in 3.5. I hit the vibrations and G-Spot stroker up a level, made a minor adjustment on internal placement and I believe one of the rabbit ears slipped up under the hood of my clit. At least I think that’s what happened, because I’m pretty sure I blacked out.
Lying there shanking and shivering with it still clenched inside of me, my vagina still contracting and twitching like a rabbits nose, I frantically tried to turn it off, but ended up hitting the buttons like a imbecile, sending it to even stronger vibrations and now faster motions forced into my G-Spot. And came, again.
I’m pretty sure I levitated. It was an unending unforgiving orgasm. This time, my soul left me, and God himself said ‘child, it is not your time, go back to the little white light.’ I’m brought back into my ruin of a body after managing to pull this rabbit from its hole and throwing it across my bed, it falls to the floor, still buzzing and hopping happily away.
I stared at my ceiling dazed trying to remember who I am and what year is this. How long did I take to cum and how long was I out? Seconds? Minutes? Months…? I get up to clean the mess of myself, my bed sheets and the wreck of the person I’ve become and realize in my seizure like orgasms, I’d hurt my hip and back. I’m still hobbling four hours later. I did not stretch enough.
So in conclusion, this met and exceeded all expectations. It may have a luxury price tag but what it gives you is gold. The cost of this bunny will be paid back every time you’ll use it.
Final advice. Hydrate, make sure you don’t have to do anything that involves decisions or brainpower for the rest of the day. And for the love of God, stretch like you’re about to run a 400 meter dash. Preparation is key.
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: It forced upon me a purple epiphany.
Cons: My poor old bunny will need a new home.
Bottom Line: Fierce. This rabbit is fierce.
Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 1st February 2021
Womanizer X Lovehoney InsideOut Rechargeable G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulator
I will not lie to you, I own a lot of toys for my clit. This is now the fourth Womanizer in my collection - yes, I really do love these little suckers that much. But this is the first one that combines both that intense clitoral manipulation and internal filling pleasure I crave to get me gushing.
I won’t bore you with the delivery, let’s just say it came nearly as fast as I did when I first used this - albeit far more discreetly.
Just as I would expect from a Womanizer and Lovehoney collaboration, this special edition Inside Out is gifted to you in such luxury you’d easily mistake it’s purpose. Included within is an optional larger clitoral head - trust me, just fit this clit engulfer straight away - a charging lead and instructions, but unfortunately no storage pouch - you can’t have everything right.
It is made entirely from rich, purple, high quality silicone with a shining silver accent inlay at the base. This is completely my ascetic and I am totally smitten with how it looks. The seamless silicone feels amazingly soft to the touch, and has very little friction. It’s the kind of silicone you can’t help but rub on your face because of how soft it truly feels.
For its size the Womanizer InsideOut is fairly light to hold. The lower part of the toy is egg shaped and tipped with a smooth silicone suction nozzle for placing over your already excitedly engorged clit. Coming out of the back of the Womanizer InsideOut is a curved silicone arm for internal placement. This arm is fairly slim and flexible at the base. The tip of the arm is where the second motor is for the vibrations and is more rigid than the rest of the arm.
Before you can use the Womanizer InsideOut you need to charge it. The USB charger attaches to the base of the toy using two magnetic ports. Unlike some other magnetic chargers I have, this magnet is strong and I had no trouble with it keeping contact. You can then plug the other end in to any USB port and await the solid green light that indicates a full charge. Mine must have been already charged as only 5 minutes after connecting the USB cable it was ready to go.
As with all toys from Womanizer, it is incredibly quiet. It’s not silent by any means, but the vibrations in the G-spot arm are genuinely whisper quiet, and the clitoral stimulator is the quietest I’ve heard yet. If you need to be discreet, but really want to try a clitroal suction / pressure wave toy, this might well be the product for you. Just make sure you’ve a towel over your mouth to dampen your screams.
With a small amount of lube around the hood of your clit and vulva - although I can assure you, after just holding this, lube is not needed - the Inside Out effortlessly slips into place and you can comfortably contract around it’s slender shaft leaving hands free to caress and manipulate other erogenous areas. I’m a seriously lazy masturbator at the best of times, the less I have to be involved the better, and a hands free orgasm or three is always a goal I set - a goal everyone should always set. Just tie me to the bed and watch me squirm.
The vibrations from the internal G-spot arm are deliciously deeply rumbly but I’ll be honest, the clit suction part of this toy has me cumming that hard and fiercely fast I don’t even have time to think about the vibrations in and around my G-Spot. I don’t have time to think about anything. But what I do love is just to have that insertable squishy arm there for me to clamp down on again and again and again.
Like so many others I’m sure, I’m one of those gals with an extremely sensitive clit. The smallest of stimulation and I’m either cumming or crying within minutes. Just like all the other Womanizers I own, this indirect, fluttering air pressure stimulation doesn’t leave me with an untouchably sensitive clit after my first orgasm - or even before - and allows me to ride the waves of cumming after cumming, again and again, over and over until my heart says no more.
In summary, this revolutionary Womanizer exceeded all of my expectations. Not only does it’s waterproof design make it a bath time must, more importantly it means it’s soaking squirt safe too. Despite struggling with the controls to begin with, the intense orgasms delivered by the Inside Out has made it one of my new favorite toys and by far the best Womanizer I own. Perhaps it’s shape won’t suit every internal body, but it fits me very, VERY, well indeed. I am smitten.
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: It’s double trouble at its best!
Cons: Buttons take a little learning.
Bottom Line: I’m at smitten with this Henry the Hoover, this fluttering clit kisser.
Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 23rd April 2021
Tenga AERO Suction Control Male Masturbator
I firstly want to state that this is a review from a female’s point of view, how I perceived it, how it made me feel and how I found actually using it with my husband - as well as how much he enjoyed it.
My own sex toy collection is vast, it would rival the Lovehoney warehouse I’m sure. Yet beneath the mountains of dildos, dicks and dog collars, there’s only a handful of toys for my man - hey, he has me as his favourite toy. But every once in a while it’s nice to treat his meat to something new. A little role reversal is always fun. Our love of Fleshlights and Tenga Toys is no secret nor shame, so when this new arrival of a masturbation masterpiece arrived to the Lovehoney website, this went straight in my basket.
Secretive, sly and inconspicuous is not something I ever really look for in sex toys but it has to be said, the entire design and appearance of the Tenga Aero - and it’s packaging for that matter - looks so innocent it could easily be mistaken for a white water flask by the side of your bed. It looks expensive and luxurious, clean laced with class and an almost futuristic aura surrounding it.
If you’re a lady that gets a little turned off by the thought of using a lifelike faux vagina on your man then this toy really is a better option for you. Personally, I really get off on using a realistic looking pussy on my husband, but this toy with a tame gender neutral appearance and design will suit and please nearly all heterosexual and homosexual couples and singles alike.
By my own measurements the overall toy is just under 7”s in length with a circumference of 9.5”s, it’s actually a little bigger than I expected yet I can still firmly hold it in just one of my petit hands. With a maximum insertable depth of only 6”s, bare in mind the bigger boys may hit the bottom, but panic not, it’s all in the head work with this toy. The entire item has no noticeable smell and it feels well designed and manufactured. It’s extremely lightweight too so even users with dexterity issues shouldn’t have many problems.
The included ‘Tenga Real Lube Lotion’ sample sachet needs to be mentioned here. Oh - My - GOD. This is genuinely unlike ANY lubricant I’ve ever tried or seen before. Honestly, don’t dump the whole packet inside the opening. One pea sized drip of this sparing stuff would spread across snooker table I tell you and it would last for hours. It closely resembles thick, stringy, glue like cum - I love it! I’ve just noticed Lovehoney sell this lube by the bottle… Take my money now.
After naively draining the entire lubricant sachet in and around the opening and teasing two of my fingers into the first few inches, it feels incredibly just like the real thing - trust me, this I know very well. The tight wet opening followed by varying textures, folds and flaps, ridges and nodules honestly feel as though I were playing with myself. It’s tight but forgivingly stretchy, firm yet so undeniably squishy - honestly if my eyes were shut and it was warmed up before hand, I wouldn’t be able to tell a difference.
Where this toy varies from our Fleshlights and other masturbator sleeves is it’s unique and precise dial system of adjustable air suction pressure settings. The twisting click options allow you to adjust the level of suction stimulation you desire by turning the external housing. With 10 different settings to choose from, rotating clockwise will increase the suction, while turning it in the opposite direction will lower it back.
With the vents fully closed, the seal around his shaft and the suction of this device is completely off the scale. I could hand on heart not pull this off his dick. From a watchers view, too see the vacuum suction suck and pull and move the skin of his shaft is purely breathtaking - I’m sure it felt sensational for him too.
I kid you not, the first time we used this, in less than 2 minutes at the mercy of my professional right hand and the Tenga Aero, he was clutching the bed sheets and cumming. So much for the hours of edging and orgasm denial I had planned.
We’ve tried this toy now on all 10 of its suction settings and one drawback I’ve found is that with the air vents dialled opened on any option other than completely closed, things can get a little noisy - and I’m not talking about moaning and groaning either. The air from the toy when being thrusted can get a little hissy so just bare this in mind if silent secrecy is something that’s important to you. No issue for us, we’re not a quite couple, but this toy can sound a little like inflating an airbed.
After use, the inner sleeve can be completely removed, reversed and turned inside-out for a thorough cleaning with warm soapy water and then can be stored on the cleverly designed lid and stem system for hygienic air drying - and applying a sex toy cleaning spray of course.
To summarise, this is by far the most advanced and luxurious masturbator toy we’ve ever owned. The suction is unrivalled, in fact it’s astonishing. It’s sensational for couples play and I know my husband will be using this alone when I’m not around too. I’ll be honest, I doubt we’ll ever buy a Fleshlight again. It’s a 10 out of Tenga from me!
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: The suction level is insane. So easy to use, clean and store.
Cons: Honestly I have none.
Bottom Line: The perfect couples toy. It’s innocently clean and classy unlike me.
by @Blonde_Bunny, 2nd November 2020
Creamy Cum-Style Unscented Water-Based Lubricant
Jizz, spunk, cum, load - call it what you like. Some of us girls and guys have a thing for the stuff, and arguably nobody more than myself. Honestly, that hot and thick creamy substance is on my mind - and body - way more than is healthy I’m sure. From creampies to facials, I fantasise it all. I’ve never been the kind of lass to spit or swallow, I’m the naughty little girl who wants to play with it and let it slowly drip out and down my body. My curious cum kink is a massive part of my sex life now, but there’s only so much one man can deliver me, and my poor husband just cannot satiate my appetite in this regard - not for want of trying. When I heard that Lovehoney could provide me with this alternative by the bucket load, I knew this product was going straight in, and around, my basket.
When it comes to lubricants in general I’m a bit of a critic, a sceptic and scared of new things. I’ve quite sensitive skin and have in the past experienced rashes, irritations and general nether-misfortunes thanks to lubes with unfavourable ingredients. But after reading so many satisfied reviews on this product, and ever the eager beaver I am, there was no way on earth I wasn’t going to give this a go.
Upon opening my weekly delivery from Lovehoney, I nearly melted when I first saw this bottle. The artwork may be simple, but it is absolutely stunning. I mean, just look at it, there’s no mistaking what this bottle contains. If that alone doesn’t get you excited then you’re surely purchasing the wrong products. It’s far from the subtle, clean and classy lube bottles I’m used to buying, but that’s why I love this so much. It screams playful, mischievous filth in every aspect - a little like myself.
The lube is made to look and feel just like real cum, and honestly it really does look and feel like real cum. It’s thick and stringy and has a cloudy white colour yet it doesn’t have any smell at all, it actually reminds me a little of the PVA glue I used in primary school except it’s not sticky at all - that’s a good thing, no-one wants lube like glue. It glides over your skin and between your fingers and washes off easily with soap and water. I’d go as far as to say, this may well be the slipperiest lube I have ever used. Ever.
If you’ve never played with cum lube before, you may be surprised how much you enjoy using it as a visual turn on, let alone as an actual lubricant. My husband can drizzle it over my boobs and body during foreplay and I can slather it over my dildos when I’m alone. I can roll around in it if I wanted to - and I will I’m sure. Endless cum all for my endless enjoyment, no penis required. If you’re a cam girl, performer or take erotic photos, this will undoubtedly also be right up your street.
I’ve also now used with an internal lube applicator and for me this is the best way I’ve found of getting the most out of this product. I’ll be honest, I have no issues with creaming a dildo all by myself, but to fill yourself with this stuff before hand then to see the state of your dildos and you fingers and it running down your thighs is enrapturing. Gosh, it’s making me feel all gooey inside just thinking about it.
I’ve yet to try this product with an ejaculating dildo but without a doubt that’s the next item on my shopping list. I’m sure the possibilities for fetishes and fun with this lube is only be limited to your imagination.
The only tiniest negative about this lube - and it really is a tiny negative - is the bottle function itself. I love lube bottles with a pump style top for easy and quick dispensing.This lube is just that slippery, it’s a little challenging trying to hold the bottle while squeezing out it’s contents.
In summery, if you’re anything like me with an insatiable kinky cum fetish, and you’re looking for a realistic replacement or addition to the real thing that also does an outstanding job as a water-based lubricant, then there is just no other option. The amount you get for the price is extremely generous and despite the added effort required cleaning up yourself, your bedding and your toys after your play times, I don’t think I’ll ever stop buying this again and again. Just remember, it’s only as messy, filthy and dirty as the person you want to become.
One happy girl!
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: It’s thick, creamy and as good, if not better, than the real thing.
Cons: I’d love this to cum in a pump style bottle.
Bottom Line: Endless fun and filth for this little cum-lover!
Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 1st May 2021
Lovehoney Realistic Silicone Suction Cup Dildo 8 Inch
Anal Delight
I’ll be straight up and honest with you, I own a lot of dicks. I mean A LOT of dicks. For a young married girl I really should be ashamed of myself. I already have several of Lovehoney’s Lifelike Lover range of PVC dildos, but I don’t have many long and super squishy Silicone snakes for anal play. The length, the material, thickness and appearance of this one really appealed to me and I already knew this would be a great choice for what I had planned.
As with all of Lovehoney’s own-brand toys, the packaging is simple, sexy and far from smutty. Inside the box, the dildo is sealed inside a plastic bag. The entire toy is made from a soft liquid silicone so it does have a mild plastic scent at first, but if you’re anything like me and obsessed with putting dildos in your mouth, I can assure you it has no taste.
By my own precise measurements, this sizeable schlong has a 5” circumference around the head yet a mouth watering 6.25”s at the base of the shaft - although to get that far you’ll need to devour just over 8.5”s of thick and filling useable length. There’s no balls at the bottom of this dildo but hey, not all dicks need balls bells and whistles, and that makes it great for what I wanted it for with nothing to get in the way when bouncing upon it.
Not only is it stunning on the eye, it also possesses all the features I crave for in a dildo for both pussy and anal play. A firm but soft structure still having plenty of bend and flexibility - this I need for anal - also a heavily swollen and engorged style head followed by the ridgy bunched ripples of a retracted foreskin, frenulum and a spider web of prominent protruding veins down the length of an increasing girth shaft. That and seriously strong suction cup base that I can glue to any and every surface, I knew I’d be a busy little bee with this one.
Maybe I’m an odd girl but I’m happy to admit I try putting every one of my dildos into my mouth and down my throat - there’s so much more to dongs than pussy and anal play. The size, shape and huge amount of flexibility make this toy so life-like it really is a thrilling gagging challenge to swallow it whole. This dildo will be perfect if you’re trying to learn to Deep Throat or if you’re adventurously filthy like myself and enjoy your own solo dildo spit-roast.
So did it make me cum?
I’m one of the lucky ones and I can orgasm fiercely from vaginal penetration alone. It does however take precise and rough G-Spot stimulation to get me gushing. Unfortunately this dildo just didn’t quite do it for me that way - although I was still loving the ride. The size and design do make for a real-feel experience but it just lacked that extra thickness and firmness in the head I need to climax this way quickly. But I must say, those ribbed raised veins rubbing against my clit and vulva while the blunt head pushed and teased my cervix did feel phenomenal - but not as euphoric as when I added in my favourite wand vibrator to finish off in perfect paralysis.
My next try was for anal and for me this is where the dildo really hit the mark - and this is what I wanted it for. I’m an obsessive of double penetration, I’m a greedy girl and I want all of everything at once, and this dildo delivered everything I needed and more. Being so soft and flexible, I can make this delightful dick vanish to it’s base. Just like a sexy blonde magician’s assistant, I can make it disappear on the count of one, two, three. The increasing girth of the shaft, the soft and squishy outer coating, the safely oversized suction cup base and the unrelenting length of this toy make it the best dildo I now own for anal play by miles.
A down side to silicone dildos is they can feel a little draggy at times, especially when used analy, so plenty of water based lube is always a must and for me I had no problems with this one. But a bonus of silicone is it’s so easy to clean and keep fresh. With a quick wash in warm soapy water and a spritz of Lovehoney cleaning spray, this non-porous silicone snake is hygienic simplicity at its best.
In summery, for me it’s just a fraction too slim in the head for pussy play alone - unless you enjoy normal girth dildos - but when combined with a vibrator forced against my clit it is perfection. I can see this being brilliant for beginners, perfect for pegging and I can tell you it’s sensational for deep anal and Double Penetration play - that and it’s breathtakingly stunning to look at and hold.
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: It’s so pretty, so soft, so flexible and anal heaven!
Cons: The heads a little on the slim side for pussy play for me.
Bottom Line: By far the best dildo for anal… ever!
Free Tester Toy
by @Blonde_Bunny, 26th June 2021
Bondage Boutique Rose Gold Adjustable Clit Clamp
I’m not shy to admit my life somewhat revolves around me mischievously pressing my devil’s doorbell, I’m forever taking that one step further in treating and teasing my little naughty nub. I already own a couple of clit clamps but not one of this style and design, so when I saw this new rose gold godsend appear on the Lovehoney website, I just had to try this upon my little clitty-cat.
This may well be the smallest single item I’ve ever received from Lovehoney and for once - and quite shockingly - no brown box. It did however arrive inside a small plain grey bag and in the nondescript and discreet manner I know and love.
Packaging of the toy is about as simple as it can get. A clear little cellophane bag with a small Bondage Boutique logo is the only presentation needed for this little marvel.
It’s actually a little larger than I expected it to be but it’s definitely still a sex toy miniature. That being said, it does have a satisfying weight that gives the impression of a decent material and build quality. The black rubber tips feel soft and secure and the entire rose-gold metallic finish is flawless - the Lovehoney Heart pendant charm at the base is a cuteness overload too.
Using a device like this is admittedly a little fiddly at first, but after a couple of goes it’s actually very simple to master - practice makes even the most prurient princess perfect. Contrary to a lot of other reviews and guides on clit clamps, I don’t use any lube whatsoever, in fact I find any kind of lubricant to where I’m trying to latch to is not your friend here - trust me, the last thing you’ll want is this little nipper slipping off your ‘boy in the boat’ before you’re finished.
How I use it:
Firstly, I’ll make sure I’m super aroused before even starting - honesty you’ll want to begin with an already slightly swollen, firm and protruding clit. While spreading my labia with two fingers and sliding my hand back towards my tummy - I find this way also really exposes my clit as it retracts the hood considerably far back at the same time - I hold the clamp with my other hand and simply slide the soft rubber tips down onto and over my now very pronounced clit to smother each side. Now take away that first hand that was spreading your lips and gently slide the compression ring down to adjust the amount of squeezing pressure you desire - or your dominant other demands.
So does it work?
Oh my bean-flicking mother of lady-pearls yes! (eyes rolled in back of head).
I find this device not only clamps and restricts the blood flow back out of you already swollen clit, it actually fully holds back your retracted clit hood so much further than you would think possible, leaving it completely - and quite vulnerably - exposed and laid bare to all manner of tortures, torments and teasing touches. It really does leave your bare button sticking right out there begging to be pressed like a personal clitoral exhibition.
If you’re an experienced Bondage Babe like myself, you’ll know that to even attempt to touch your fully exposed, engorged and clamped throbbing clit - let alone bring a vibrator against it - is eye-rolling pleasure tainted with sensationally erotic and euphoric discomfort. To even just graze my captivated clit with the tip of my finger will either cause me to cum or cry or usually both. This, this is pleasure at its purest. This is a paralysing pink-pearl paradise.
Even after the clamp is removed, the pleasures this device gifts you doesn’t end, if anything it’s where it begins. With the sudden and relentless release of hot blood flowing back into your exhausted and exploited clit, you’re hit again with higher levels of untouchable throbbing sensitivity that leave you only begging to cum and cum and cum again. I swear to you now I have climaxed from just removing this clamp and not even touching my pussy after. These sensations are indescribable until you try one of these devices for yourself.
Cleaning this toy after use couldn’t be easier. With a quick wash in warm soapy water and a spritz of Lovehoney cleaning spray, this surgical steel is hygienic simplicity at it’s finest.
In summery, this luxury little clamp is everything I could want in a toy for clit specific sensitivity play, torture and next level teasing. It’s sexy, it’s simple and it’s oh so pretty. And I can tell you it also makes a sensational piece of golden erotic jewellery to have dangling from your pussy and glistening between your thighs - especially when walking into a bedroom wearing the most salacious of crotchless lingerie.
Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Pros: It’s so innocently cute but this little bee’s bite is heavenly devilish.
Cons: It’s quite small so could easily be lost in the abyss of a sex toy storage box.
Bottom Line: It really is both the perfect present and punishment for the bud of my favourable flower.
