This is a topic where you can copy and paste your reviews from the shopping site and put them here on the forum. 
For full instructions on how to do this please see @Ian_Chimp’s post below.
If you followed a filter link here to see a particular member’s reviews then they should all be grouped together underneath this one. 
Happy reading!
Breaker.
I’m tempted to add to this, but the optimist in me is still waiting for the user review page to return 
by @Mint-Monster, 19/06/21
Le Wand Hoop G-spot Double Ended Stainless Steel Dildo
The Steel Appeal
The Le Wand brand continues to impress me with its product presentations. This is probably the nicest toy package I’ve ever received. I thought Lovehoney sent me some sort of royal family heirloom at first in error. The marbled pattern box will definitely be kept or re-used as it’s simply too nice to throw away. I had to rub my eyes in disbelief because it comes with a padded bag to avoid clanging while being stored and a branded cloth to buff it back to beautiful. Ooooh - I feel spoilt. There’s an informative booklet instead of your run of the mill instructions. It includes things like how get the best out of it, care tips and basically a catalogue of their other products. I thought this was clever like the company is saying, “Hey, you impressed? This is just a taster. Here’s the rest of our tempting wares”. I’m already eyeing up their pretty rechargeable wands…
This is super heavy! It honestly feels like a weapon I could go hunting mammoths with. Gravity is your friend here during use. It’s like it’s always pulling down and making it feel bigger than it actually is. An illusion of girth, some might say. This makes experimenting with angles fun to get it to put pressure on different areas. It feels like you’re not 100% in charge of the thrusts as the weight adds extra momentum to them. More of a general thud sensation than anything.
Get your towels ready because the shape and weight make it the perfect squirting tool with some basic rocking motion. Barely took any time or effort to get there, too. It almost feels too good if there’s such a thing? I also enjoyed popping the thick end in and out of my opening as it felt extra thuddy there. Blended orgasms came aplenty with a clit vibe, too. The ball on the smaller tail end helps with grip and can hook onto your hand like a sloth’s claw. This comes in handy when it’s wet as you definitely don’t want to drop this thing! I’ve accidentally tapped it against my ceramic sink once or twice with a scary clang. I have no doubt it could crack it with a bad hit so be very careful! No one wants broken sinks, floors or toes.
It’s probably just my preference for girth, but I hardly ever used the smaller end. While I could still hit my G-spot, it felt more unbalanced in comparison to the thick end. Like I was holding it upside down. Meh. I’m happy just to keep that side as the handle. The thick head feels like the perfect size and shape for the job. It’s not too big or angular to be intimating and hits the G-spot/opening just right. As the thing you’re going to feel the most, I think Le Wand nailed the design.
The steely smoothness feels so nice and you hardly need any lube. I just prefer to use my own. It also makes it a quick job to clean. Some positions or moving around during use can feel a bit uncomfortable due to the curve and rigidness. Or even like it’s “hooking” me at times? The easiest position was laying flat on my back or leaning back as it gave more control over the thrusting and ensured focus to the right areas. It’s a toy that you have to be cautious with since it can easily throw its weight around with little effort. The shaft can also rub against your clit if you angle it right. However, I don’t like rigid stuff on my clit so the further away the better for me. You can basically use any clit vibe you want since the shape allows it duck under them without clashing together.
While I’m not generally a fan of chilled toys, I found the cooler room temperature dildo a welcome relief with all this warm weather we’re having. Still not internally for me as the cold makes my clam clamp shut. Felt great resting on my thighs and stomach while I waited for it warm up enough to gain an entry permit. When I want to speed up the process, I can just leave it in a sink of warm water. It was ready by the time I set up my bed and towel. I love the way it quickly warms to match my body heat during use. Great fun if you enjoy temperature play.
Overall, it’s hard to fault something with this level of standards. It may be quite expensive, but at least it shows unlike some brands. And on top of all this, it’s very fun to use. A champ in G-spot stimulation, temperature play and all round steeliness. Just please be cautious with all that weight and rigidness to avoid damage to yourself or your fixtures and fittings.
Overall Rating: 5/5
Pros: Presentation. Temperature play. Great G-spotter. Easy to clean. Padded storage bag. Cloth.
Cons: Have to be cautious with all that weight.
Bottom Line: Would make a quality gift for yourself or others. A great example to show off the appeal of steel.
by @Mint-Monster, 28/07/21
Lovehoney Sensual Glass Curved Beaded Dildo
Can’t say I have many toys that can stare back at me. What beady little eyes you have, Mr Seahorse! I wonder if the face was intentional? The small bumps aren’t exactly centered, but you can barely tell during use. Green and orange for them is an interesting choice of colours - pretty Halloweeny if you ask me. It also comes with its own storage bag which is always convenient.
The loop handle helps with grip - especially when wet. It’s not really big enough to get my fingers through all the way without worrying about getting them back, though. Still irresistible to try a gunslinger style spin. I don’t think the handle is the best during use. Kind of awkward when passed to my left while holding a clit vibe in my right as I usually do. Like I had to stretch enough to be able to grab it and even then it didn’t feel quite right. I couldn’t get a confident thruster hold on the thing, put it that way.
The horned face clashed easily with vibes. Anything rigid usually meant a pinchin’ was expected. Like the seahorse was trying to head butt them away. The most comfortable thing to use was my TC squishy wand (but that tends to go with anything, anyway). Funnily enough, my favourite way to use it was with no clit vibe while laying on my front. I would lay my palm flat on my mound with the seahorse’s head facing up between my fingers. This allowed my hand to stimulate the clit while my fingers kicked in the horsepower to thrust the dildo. I could mirror this laying on my back too, but still preferred my front.
The shape of the dildo may certainly be interesting, but I found the pleasurable positions to be limited. I didn’t enjoy the sensation when it was facing my back - like putting a key in the wrong hole. There was some pleasure in it facing the inner thighs as you could play around with angles. However, having it facing forward seemed to fit just right. When it was inserted past the last bead, it definitely hit the all the right spots. The sweetest of sweet spots! Felt great on my opening and inside which made up for the lack of girth somewhat. As already mentioned, this horsey doesn’t play too well with clit vibes when facing them. Must want me all to itself! But I don’t like it the other ways as much, so that’s why I said my ways of use are limited.
The beads offer some stimulation and make fun sounds when thrusting. There isn’t much girth to get here, which is a shame. The glass material barely needs any lube as it glides effortlessly with so little. Sadly, once it gets wet ‘n’ wild enough, I started to notice the beads a lot less. It’s more the rigidity and shape doing most of the work. Maybe it’s more suited for those who like slim rigid toys? Or maybe it’s a better anal toy than a vaginal one? I didn’t find that the handle bumps added much to the experience as I was at my length limit by the time my clit got anywhere near them.
Glass toys have the added ability of temperature play if that’s your thing. It warmed up nicely just placing it on/around myself while getting comfortable in bed. It also means it can be used with any lube and be sterilised for a thorough clean. Mine was fine with toy spray and water. Pretty straight forward to clean except for the strange neck creases at the back. I’m not sure what the purpose of these are. I just know they add an extra step of bringing the cleaning brush out. Maybe they’re gills or something?
While I enjoy glass toys, this one isn’t my favourite. It’s great in one particular position, but everything else is pretty “meh”. Like a novelty toy with style over usability. I guess less is more with this one? Can’t deny its cute charm and aquatic allure, though.
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: Own bag. Cute. Great when in right spot. Don’t need much lube. Temperature play.
Cons: Limited positions. Head butts vibes. Lack of girth. Can be awkward to hold.
Bottom Line: Not the best glass dildo, but still has some fun quirks. Around a 3.5 in total, I’d say.
by @Mint-Monster , 05/06/2021
G World Embroidered Bra Set with Suspender Belt and Stockings
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this interesting set to review.
I absolutely love the colouring. Reminds me of Terry’s chocolate orange packaging… Mmm. I like the way it complements my pale skin, too. You’ll probably have to spend a few minutes cutting all the white tags off first as they’re easy to see against the dark material.
The bra is more of a bikini top with a front tie and halter neck - so technically 2 pieces. You can avoid some fiddling if you tie one of them together before putting it on and doing the second after. The front ribbon is the biggest pain to get right! I always had to get my partner’s help. Neither of us can tie a pretty bow to save our lives, so it didn’t end up like the one in the photo. I trimmed off the excess since it was hanging down to my belly button. It also tends to go off-centred sometimes making the hold slightly asymmetrical. Even with my small handfuls of boobage, this bra just about covers them with no real support. Still pretty cute! Not too small or baggy and I can adjust it in 3 ways if I’m not content. However, I’m not sure how larger breasts would fair with the limited fabric.
The bottom half looks quite daunting as it’s all one piece. When you look down it’s just a cluster of straps, lace and belts. Thank goodness for the reference on the box. Sometimes it just takes a leap of faith. I’m happy that it comes with hip strap adjusters as I can get self conscious about that area. The belly band part arrived on the tightest setting which fitted me fine and meant I didn’t have to mess around with it like that damn bra. Some of the decorative “V” straps between that and the skirt hang loose. This can be improved slightly by attaching and tightening the suspender straps. I’m half tempted to chop 'em off as they’re quite small and probably wouldn’t take away from the piece. The thong can’t be removed it, but you can easily shift it to the side if you want to keep it on during sex. With all this going on, it brings a lot of attention to your hip and waist area. I like the way the skirt flirts around my hips and how the belly belt cinches in.
I’m not a fan of the seams at the top of the stockings as they’re unforgiving on any chub you have there - mainly around my inner thigh. It made me want to hike them up to hide it which doesn’t look quite right as the front suspenders bunch up badly (the back ones were still fine, though). But having them any lower doesn’t fill me with confidence either. They would also roll down often despite being attached to the belt. As the tights are just plain sheer blue, you can see right through them. I thought I should mention this if you preferred to cover things like spots or cellulite since this won’t help. You can always switch them out with your own fave stockings. It still looked ok with a pair of black ones I had. I liked the old fashioned stocking seam that runs up the back of them, at least.
I gotta say, this isn’t the easiest of pieces to get on without assistance. The bra is the main offender here! There’s just so many ties, straps, clips and adjusters. I’m glad I’m not getting timed on it otherwise my score would be embarrassing. You can get the set off without much hassle, though. It helps to keep everything together in a bag for storage and cleaning. I put it in one of those netted bra bags and it all survived the washing machine. Some of the ties came undone or there were little stringy bits, but no major concerns.
I’m 5’1 and a UK size 8 with minimal boobs. Most of it fits comfortably after a few adjustments and help from my partner. The overall quality isn’t bad and you can’t beat that flamboyant colouring which is great as a set. Even though it can be a pain to get right, the outcome is still a nice sight. My partner likes it and doesn’t see the issues I do, but can still understand them. It’s not all a perfect fit and I want to swap or chop half of it out. Maybe different choices of seams and sizing would make it better? I felt confident enough in it, but still had some awkwardness here and there - like I had to keep my eye on it. The fiddliness also doesn’t make me want to grab for it as much as I’d like.
Overall Rating: 3/5
Pros: Colouring. Adjustable. Eye-catching design around the hips/waist area.
Cons: Stockings. Straps bunch up in places. White tags. Bra is fiddly without help. Needs trimming.
Bottom Line: Lovely colouring, but misses the most marks on harsh stockings and the bra puzzle.
by @Mint-Monster , 26/07/2021
Escante Ruffle Tartan Crotchless Knickers
Shortbreaded
Talk about cute, flirty and playful in one package. Oh, and who doesn’t love shortbread? Even though the tartan pattern is only on one side of the skirt, it still shows through underneath somewhat. It has a nice stretchiness to it for added comfort during wear. I’m a UK size 8 and they felt fine on. The material isn’t really something you have to worry about cleaning. Just bang it in the washing with the rest of your smalls.
The crotchless front and black trim makes a full on art display of my vulva which I love! The back end isn’t as alluring since it covers a fair portion on my bum. It looks like I split one of my everyday knickers by squatting too quickly. I suppose this is intended to fit more with the naughty schoolgirl theme, though? Cute from the back and pure X-rated at the front. What an intriguing contrast.
It has more of V shape drop at the front than most of my usual underwear. I preferred lifting the skirt over my hips to avoid any dips where I didn’t want them. It was difficult to get the bum parts even as one side would always gravitate towards my crack. It was like some kind of balancing act. Lifting it up would pull them both in which offered a better view of my backside without hinting that it was crotchless. A nice surprise for the viewer if you turn around and show off that fab full frontal flange.
You can keep it on during sex which is a big win. I enjoyed rolling my hips even more as I rode my partner. The sides didn’t really interfere with the access to the front, but I did notice him tugging the back parts apart during sex. I don’t think you can wear much over them due to the frilly skirt if you wanted to conceal then reveal. Maybe a bigger skirt or dress? I had medium success using my pyjama shorts.
Overall, I find these knickers more cute than hot. I definitely prefer my lace versions, that’s for sure. They didn’t get a huge reaction from my partner (probably because he’s not much into the naughty schoolgirl thing…or shortbread). There’s some bite to them, but not enough to take the whole bawdy biscuit. Still fun to play around with, though.
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: Comfortable. Cute. Easy to clean. Front display. Balance of naughty and nice.
Cons: Bum part covers a lot unless pulled up. Gravitates towards crack. Pattern may not be for everyone.
Bottom Line: Nice and fun in their own right. However, we still prefer the lace versions over these.
by @Mint-Monster , 16/07/2021
Lovehoney Barely There Blush Pink Babydoll Set
Many thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this set to review.
The blush pink colour is just darling and I like the bold contrast with the black bands on the upper half. The silver Lovehoney heart decoration is also a quality touch. The inner parts of the straps at the chest are pretty sharp and itchy. Probably where they have been heat cut? I couldn’t wait to gouge them out with clippers - annoying, but easily fixed. All the black straps are adjustable so you can get the fit just right. I needed some help with the halterneck from my partner to do it properly since I don’t want the boob parts too loose and a cute bow is a must to match the front design. Very comfortable to wear overall.
The material is super light and floaty and the transparency adds to the tease appeal big time - especially my butt! You can make things out but not quite. Like a mirage of nipple or bum. Good for those who feel more comfortable when showing less skin. It’s got you sorted in the boob, belly and bum department. Ideal to tackle the summer heat, too. At 5’1, I felt the length was just right to sheer off my upper thighs. I’m a UK size 8 and the bottom half adds mass to my waist and hips. My partner said it reminds him of those maternity dresses that’s intended to cover the belly. It cinches in right under the bust, not the waist. Kind of like wearing an upside-down cupcake from there. It hides my smaller figure underneath which he thinks is a bit of a shame as he’s into more fitting garments. I can still make out my silhouette which fits the tease theme, though.
The ruffled bra part flatters my small chest with a cheeky peak of the nipples. There seems to be enough room here for larger boobs if you have them. The black band naturally draws the eye up them ways, too. The creases in the bra match the skirty bit which brings the whole piece together.
I understand the space in the back is needed to have the adjuster, but my brain keeps thinking that the design should have stuck to the band all the way around. Not really an issue. That extra bit of skin doesn’t add or take away from the appeal either way. The upper part of the back is displayed exquisitely, though.
The thong is… well, just a thong. While the colour matches the babydoll, there’s not much else to it. Very plain. Something you could mix in with the rest of your everyday underwear collection. It’s still nice and comfortable to wear, regardless. It looks cute under the mesh skirt, but wearing nothing at all is so much hotter! I suppose it just depends what mood you’re in. I think this is one of those sets that can still be enjoyed separately as well as all together.
The mesh material allows it to dry quickly after being in the wash, so you can jump back into it in the evening. I put everything in one of those protective bra bags and it came out fine. The only thing that happened was that the halterneck unknotted. Looks like I’ll need help from my partner to get it right again each time I wear it.
No real big negatives about it, but I think it all comes down to personal taste for us. Yes, it’s cute and flirty. Yes, it’s comfortable to wear. Yes, it’s tease-tacular. However, it probably won’t be our first choice to pull out from the dirty drawer. Like it’s “too nice” for that? Still sexy in its own way, but is more on the plain or good girl side. While it added some extra poof here and there, it wasn’t enough to knock my confidence.
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: Upper half fit. Dries quickly. Sheerness for teasing. Comfortable. Looks great with no thong, too.
Cons: Adds mass from the underbust down. Plain thong. Doesn’t quite have the sex appeal we enjoy.
Bottom Line: Great for teasing and looking pretty, but may not flatter all shapes.
by @Mint-Monster , 21/03/2021
Lovehoney Curved Silicone Suction Cup Dildo 9 Inch
Big thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this biggun to test.
Admittedly, when I first saw the box I thought “Aw, I already have this one”. My 7 inch version is ok, but nothing to shout about. Opened it up and Moby Dick came out. What a whopper! This is much more my size. It also fits nicely in one of those long satin storage bags. Great to see LH stocking bigger dildos that aren’t realistic. The clean marine colour is cool, too.
It’s the firm type of silicone, but there’s a little give in it for extra comfort while still delivering a good rogering. I love the curve in it. Great for G-spot fun or just experimenting with angles. My favourite position was laying on my front with the curve facing upwards (like doggy style). Some lube is definitely needed as it tends to rub or stick to the skin when dry.
The 9 inches gives it plenty of length to work with. I can’t take the whole thing as it starts to knock on my cervix. However, I kind of liked this (especially when it’s vibrating). Usually I can’t stand being prodded there, but some controlled pressure added to the tantalising feeling of tackling a titan. Extra caution is still needed to avoid discomfort so always know your limits before ramming it home. The shaft gets girthier as it goes down to about 6 inches at its fullest. This is great and all, but I can’t reach all the way due to the length. I’m still wholly satisfied by what I can manage, though.
There’s limited texture apart from the head. While this makes it super easy to clean, it doesn’t exactly make the shaft all that exciting. However, it makes up for it with the overall length and girth. That pronounced head is really something when it comes to shallow thrusting - slightly tapered for better insertion, too. My 7 inch version was my period dildo due to it being hassle free, but it felt like I had to “make-do” with it. I’m glad I got this upgrade so I can still enjoy myself like I usually would when it isn’t shark week.
There’s a hole in the base to insert a vibrating bullet. My Tango slides in nicely and the Desire Bullet will fit with a squeeze. The added grips and deepness make it an improvement on the 7 incher. The bullets didn’t budge or fall out during use. They stuck out enough to get at the controls and retrieve them after you’re done. The vibes from them transferred pretty well through the dildo - especially the tip. Made it a great teaser. Once inserted they dulled slightly, but it still felt like a fun vibrator.
The flared base is quite narrow by comparison to the shaft and doesn’t get in the way of other toys. It’s easy to forget it’s a suction cup because it’s barely concaved. I never really use suckers or masturbate in the shower, but I gave it a go for the sake on this review. It held out pretty well on the tiles until I got a tad more vigorous and it popped right off. Only seems to like straight thrusts? To be honest, I actually enjoyed a shower ride for once. Each time it fell off, I just used my hand instead to thrust it which is what I prefer anyway. Couldn’t wait to get out and finish off in the bedroom after that.
Overall, this is a BIG improvement on my earlier version. Length for days and curvaceous with the ability to also become a decent vibrator. If you have any of them already, then I can recommend this if you’re looking for an upgrade (or just a lengthy lover in general).
Overall Rating: 5/5
Pros: For length lovers. Holds vibes pretty well. Firmness and curve. Easy to clean. Not realistic.
Cons: Plain shaft. Suction cup is so-so. Sticks to skin when dry.
Bottom Line: A sizable and worthy upgrade.
by @Mint-Monster , 12/05/2021
Le Wand Grand Bullet Rechargeable Luxury Textured Silicone Bullet Vibrator
A big thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this to review.
The quality is apparent even before you open the box. What you see on the outside is exactly what you get inside as the photo is the same size as the bullet. I don’t usually write about the packaging for toys, but I think the swish presentation deserved a special mention. A stylish storage bag is always a plus, too.
Like the name suggests this is a pretty big bullet. It’s also very grand in weight with that metal body. Luckily the silicone sheath prevents it from becoming a slip ‘n’ slide nightmare when lubed up unlike other smooth bullets. It stays on securely and can be removed with a good ol’ twist and pull. The main thing I don’t like about the metal body is how cold it is. I have to warm it up before it gets anywhere near my bits; at least the sheath acts like a protective little coat. Some may enjoy the chill, though. Still nice to have a choice of heads either way.
Despite its size and weight, the vibrations are really quiet. It’s not that distracting even on the highest setting. The only time it tends to make a jarring sound is when pressing hard against something else like my pubic bone or another toy (mainly without the sheath on). There’s only one button to worry about which is responsive and quick to turn on/off. It also comes with a handy travel lock. Although the base button prevents it from standing upright, you can always use the silicone attachment to do so if you didn’t want it touching a surface.
There’s 4 constants and the rest are those long pause or 2-in-1 patterns that I’m not keen on. I didn’t find any of the constants too weak or too strong. There’s a light but rumbly deepness to them which tended to give me more of a slow build to climax. It’s almost like the metal body absorbs the impact so there’s no hard thwack to them - not like the Desire or VeDo LUV bullets, for example. I managed to climax comfortably on all 4 of them and even got great ride-outs since the vibes didn’t aggravate my clit after which I could prolong effortlessly. Laying on my front, back and side were all doable. However, I noticed if I used the vibe for a while (like carrying on after the first orgasm) it tended to numb the area. So for me, it was better the quicker I could climax with it.
The bumps on the sheath add a little extra stimulation. While the silicone itself is quite soft, the hard metal underneath is still noticeable making it feel like a mini mace. It’s not as torturous as it sounds, though. The bumps offer a more tickly sensation if you hold them lightly over the skin. But then that cold, rigidness can show next to no mercy to your clit. The contrast of the soft vibes and hard body can be tricky to balance out just how you like it during use at times. It didn’t make a huge difference to the vibrations with or without the sheath because of how firm it is overall. The rounded tip reduces pinching slightly, but it still made me extra cautious when using firmer dildos. I also used it a little for internal play which can be a pleasant switch-up in comparison to other smooth bullets.
Unfortunately, I didn’t find much joy in the cross-guard attachment. The idea is to slip it on and insert the bullet head so the textures can stimulate the external area. It doesn’t reach anywhere near my clit when it’s up to the mid-ledge where it’s meant to sit. I did manage to climax with it in this fashion, but I felt it was my wrist doing most of the work around my clit and not the silicone attachment on my opening. Meh. Works better as a stand for me. You could always just take it off and rub the textures on yourself, too.
You can tell when it gets low on power by the dying rumble. Once it’s dead, it’s totally dead and won’t turn on again until it’s recharged. The magnetic charger is quite unique and easy to use. It flashes and then stays lit when it’s complete. Also has the brand name on it so I can tell it apart from my jungle of charge wires. The battery life was generous enough and I got a fair amount of uses out of it.
It seems to get absolutely rotten after a session, but luckily it’s waterproof and simple to clean. The only slight concern is the metal body being smooth and heavy enough to be slippery when wet. This is more apparent when the sheath is off, though. The brand stamp is very narrow, so it can be tricky to get in between for a thorough clean. If you choose to use it, the silicone attachment requires a brush due to the textures.
Overall, this is a well-made and quiet bullet. Despite it being bigger and heavier than average, there’s a certain gentleness to it. The vibes are not overly strong which may not be great for power queens, but could benefit those that have more sensitive clits (or just prefer lower-mid feeling ones). I enjoyed them, anyway. Would also be ideal for travel or for secretive peeps that are concerned over being heard when tickling the clitling. Not a bad bullet at all - I just like a bit more oomph and less cold, hard steel.
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: Quality. Choice of heads. Light but deep rumbly vibes. Quiet. Great ride-outs. Bag. Cleaning.
Cons: Cold, rigid metal. Attachment doesn’t add a great deal. Patterns not for me.
Bottom Line: Hard as nails, but actually quite gentle when it comes to the vibes.
by @Mint-Monster , 26/4/2021
Lovehoney Mindful ECONYL® Fishnet Long Sleeve Top
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this to review.
Gotta love the eco-friendly packaging from the get-go. There’s very little imagery or description on the box, so you could get it as a surprise gift for someone. Having the knowledge that it’s made from recycled materials adds to the feel good factor. Turning fish nets into swish nets. At close inspection, it looks more tatty or woolly than other net-gear I own. This doesn’t mean it’s not nice to wear, though. It’s soft and has lots of stretch which didn’t feel like it was going to tear if I pulled it. Comfortably wore it all day.
Like most netting, you just have to take care not to get your digits caught up in it when putting it on. Its stretchiness makes it slightly awkward when removing it and it tends to get turned inside out. I’ve put it back on sometimes this way by mistake (you can tell by the stitching on the rims). Generally, not too fiddly getting it on or off, though.
The top has a different cut on each side so you can pick one that suits you. One is more scooped and the other is higher. I’m not a fan of low cut tops in general, so I much preferred the latter. When I did try wearing the scooped side at the front, I didn’t like how the band felt on my chest and shoulders either like it wasn’t balanced between them or something. Might be just me?
The ends of the sleeves hang very loosely off my arms which isn’t very flattering. Like they have nothing to grip to? Not quite like the photo for me. However, there’s an easy fix of just looping my thumb through the netting to make them look like flirty fingerless gloves. Very punk/goth! They still felt a tad loose, but looked way better. This style also looked great under a t-shirt. The part around my midriff is nicely shaped and fitted well along with the rest of the top. I loved how it made my small boobs look and when my nipples popped out the netting. My partner was also a fan of the look and said it complimented my frame and style. The net obscures little imperfections like zits for example, so don’t worry too much about insecurities. I like the scale-ish appearance it gives on the arms, too.
With my trusty mesh bag I use for all my lingerie, it survived a spin in the washing machine without many lint clingers. It dried pretty quickly and didn’t seem to feel distorted or stretched out after multiple uses.
Overall, this is a nice bit of netting. Doesn’t fit in some areas like my arms, but this can be worked around and the rest is damn fine. Also great for sexy fashion outside the bedroom. Oh, and it’s mindful of the environment which is always plus.
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: How it made my small boobs and nipples look. 2 cuts to choose from. Stretchy. Recycled.
Cons: Arms hang loose. Not a fan of the scooped side.
Bottom Line: Great to wear even out the bedroom. Some fitting issues, but can still be worked around to rock out.
by @Mint-Monster , 5/4/2021
Dorcel Deep Expand Inflatable G-Spot Vibrator
Is it just me or does this look like a tadpole gun? Stick 'em up and reach for the skies, you’re in for a surprise! As someone who loves knots, I just had to get myself a vibrating one. Quality is very good and the silicone is smooth despite not being seamless. The toy is rigid apart from the end half of the shaft which has some squish to it. There’s also a nice bit of weight to this risqué revolver and it comes with its own holster… err, I mean satin storage bag.
The shaft itself and how it inflates is so futuristic. It doesn’t give you the impression that it even has this trump card as it’s super sleek. It can just seamlessly form a head right out of that. Very impressive! Don’t worry about it exploding as it will automatically stop inflating when it’s full. The curved shape ensures G-spot pressure is easily achieved in either form. I also loved the big head around my opening - popping the knot in and out. Not as big as my other inflatable knotter, but big enough to notice and this also has an edge of being a vibrator. The air in there gives it some softness so it’s comfortable to use, too. Good for new and experienced users as you can pick a girth that works for you.
The vibes are satisfyingly rumbly and deep. Great externally or internally. The impact on the G-spot can be pretty intense as they travel well where it matters. I would say a little vibe power is lost when fully inflated, but the added girth balances it out. The sound isn’t too bad and it muffles when inserted. However, it tends to make a loud reverberating growl when it’s fully blown up which can be a bit jarring when removed. The 3 constant speeds are great, but I’m not a fan of the long pause or 2-in-1 patterns it has. There’s a few good jittery ones near the back of the selection, though.
The loop handle design is interesting. Texture on the front part makes it act like a rabbit (even almost hands-free). The vibes can run through the loop somewhat for extra clit stimulation. However, you can also feel the tingle in your fingers as you hold it. If your clit needs a lot of power then this may not be enough alone. Luckily, low-mid vibes are my jam and those grooves really help. I’ve been able to get some great orgasms in its rabbit form by rocking it or quickly thrusting it to get them to hit right. I enjoyed it both laying on my front and back. You can also pair it with a different clit vibe of your choice if you just shift the loop over. Loved it with my wand and bullets.
Unfortunately, the handle can send me loopy at times. This is more to do with the button positions and their sensitivity. They are in the danger zone of being accidentally pressed and it happened quite often. This seemed to be the top and bottom buttons more than anything which deflate or change the vibe setting for the toy. The deflator only requires the slightest touch to whoosh all that air out which is a pain because it takes about 10 seconds to blow up again while sounding like an electric pump - and that’s after you wait for the deflator light to go off, too. Ugh. Talk about knocking your game off. Sometimes pressing the vibe button will make it jump two levels instead of one. I wish the set up could be rearranged or the buttons less skittish. Like putting the deflator in the middle, for example? You just have to be careful with how you hold it (which can be pretty hard when you’re all excited and wild). Even with my small digits, I could only fit one finger or thumb in the hole at a time. The little lip at the back prevents it from slipping your grasp at least.
Charging is simple with the prong-to-port method. I also liked that the charge wire has a Dorcel tag already on it so I can tell it apart from the rest. It seems to last about 45-60 minutes on a single charge depending on your power setting. When mine ran out of juice, I was pleased that it still remained inflated so I could at least finish off with that fun feature. It’s pretty easy to clean, but be careful not to get it too waterlogged as it’s only splash proof. Some brushing on the plastic-to-silicone and button parts is all the extra attention that’s needed.
Overall, this is an impressive and enjoyable vibe. The orgasms I got out of it could hit really hard in any way I chose to use it. Sensation from the inflation was great and the rumbly vibes gelled well with me. The only things mainly letting it down are the buttons and noise (Ba dum tss. Get it? Ugh). Fun, fab and futuristic despite a few flaws.
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: Deep rumbly vibes. Inflation power. Quality. Storage bag. G-spot attention. Cleaning. Big orgasms.
Cons: Button sensitivity and placement. Loud when inflated. Awkward to hold at times. Only splash proof.
Bottom Line: The future is here. Built for intense orgasms despite having a few gripes.
by @Mint-Monster , 11/3/2021
Vive Shiatsu Rechargeable Textured Massage Wand Vibrator
Look at it! Just look at it! What a funky looking fungi. The overall presentation and box is nice and gives a sense of quality. You can store it in there like an antique or in a long LH satin bag. However, it feels a bit less luxurious than expected when you handle it. For a start it’s really lightweight for its size. Thought those shiny bits were metal? Nope, it’s just cheap ol’ ABS plastic which is a bit disappointing. Despite this, it’s still firm and sturdy enough to survive play.
The vibes for the wand head are pretty decent. A bit loud, but have a fun rumble at least. The wideness of it delivers that blissful broad stimulation to my bits and the vibes aren’t too strong for me as I go for mid strength ones. Just right. Those bumps add some extra spice, too. Makes turning and nudging it more satisfying - with or without lube. As well as providing extra grip, they also give a tickly sensation if you hold it lightly over your body. It feels like it’s padded with a sponge under the silicone. There’s some bend in the neck, but not too much.
The overall size can make it a bit cumbersome to use. The dildo tail feels too long and it’s hard to manoeuvre when under a duvet (like I’m trying to spin a baton). I don’t hold it at the handle, but at its main body and shoulders for both ways which is pretty nice to grip. Great for getting some firm pressure on my bits.
Even though this is half vibrating dildo, it’s easy to forget about it. In fact, it’s probably better that you do. While the firm angle can reach your G-spot with ease, the vibrations are absolutely abysmal. I can barely feel them. It’s like they’re so deep within that nothing can surface or something. It makes a high pitched buzzy noise with nothing to show for it. Dimensions are also on the small/slim side. The instructions didn’t mention how to fully use the controls and I had to look online like even the maker wanted us to forget about the dildo. Just to be in the know, you hold the middle and bottom button to get it on and the opposite for the wand. You can also have both on at the same time (for some reason). The wand will come on automatically if you just press the middle button, too.
Speaking of controls and settings, they often make no sense. There’s 3 constant speeds at the start and then a 4th as you scroll through half the rest? Holding the plus button unlocks the “insta-orgasm” mode that’s just a quick pulse pattern with added strobe light. To be fair, it did make me climax but so did most of the other settings. Not sure what all the song and flash dance is for. Probably better to cover the light with your hand as it’s quite bright and distracting. The way you hold it can make accidental presses easier, but at least you can quickly return using the plus/minus buttons to scroll back.
Thankfully, it’s waterproof to make cleaning it easier as the design aspects can be a pain. Dirt can get trapped around each individual head bump (Yes!) and plastic-to-silicone parts. You basically have to take a brush to the whole thing which can make cleaning time longer. The battery life lasts ages and it’s easy to charge, too.
I know I sound like a negative Nancy throughout this review, but I do genuinely enjoy the wand head - it’s the best part of the mushroom, after all. However, the rest of it seems all over the place like it’s still in the middle of being designed. Some individual aspects are good, but when combined it becomes a bit clustered. Why are the dildo vibes so weak and the wand’s good? Why does it need all those button codes? Not a bad toy, but definitely room for improvement. A little tweaking here and there from the wand head down. It also makes it a bit overpriced if half the toy is lacking instead of packing. I have better wands than it that cost nowhere near as much. It has the glamour spell cast, but I’m not quite enchanted by the whole thing.
Overall Rating: 3/5
Pros: Interesting looks. Fun bumps. Battery life. Rumbly wand vibes. Box. Sturdy for firm pressure.
Cons: Feels a bit cheap. Weak dildo vibes. Cleaning. Button controls and brightness. Noise.
Bottom Line: I would probably give the wand head a 4 and the dildo a 2. Making the overall score a rough 3.
by @Mint-Monster , 17/3/2021
Lovehoney Colour Your Pleasure Colouring Book
Many thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this to review.
In these unsettling times, I find myself being drawn more towards doodling and colouring books just to wind down in the evening. I also like to do them during work as it can help me concentrate. Well, definitely working from home that is. I don’t think it’s the most office friendly, is it? There’s nothing that rude or smutty in it - mainly sex toys that you can find on this website. Even the front page looks pretty cute and flirty. Quite tame overall, but maybe that’s because I’m used to all this.
There are 30 projects in total which range from simple to god-level complexity! As with any decent colouring book, the page under the colouring one is usually left blank to prevent it bleeding through to the next project. Lovehoney have been a tad more creative by covering it with the logo pattern and having a funny quote to accompany the project on the other side. I’m not sure if this is intentional or not, but there’s no page/illustration numbers. However, there’s an LH logo under each project where I think they would probably be. Or maybe they’re tick boxes? Either way, I’ve just been writing numbers in there myself.
If you shop on the site regularly then you’re sure to recognise a few goodies in here. Toys and kinky accessories are the focus. I guess the outlines aren’t that impressive by themselves - it’s when they’re swirled and spiralled into mini works of art that’s the real eye candy, though. Almost like naughty snowflakes. These can be rewarding to complete and look fondly upon with some being more challenging than others.
One of my little gripes is that the outlines can be super skinny which makes it much easier to go outside of them by accident. Please excuse me while I grab my magnifying glass. Ahh! It’s like it can be relaxing and formidable at the same time (unless I just suck at colouring)? Maybe I’m over thinking. So long as you have fun that’s all that counts, right? I also noticed that some of the lines seemed to cross over each other or get cut off near the bottom of the page? Intentional maybe? Not a big issue, just a nit-picky observation.
Some of the same toy outlines are repeated throughout the book, so it can get a tad repetitive at times. I know LH have a wide variety of toys so I’m surprised more weren’t used. For example, there seemed to be a lack of butt-plugs despite having quite iconic shapes. However, most of the page patterns/designs change it up enough to keep things more interesting. I wish there were more toy outlines thrown in or even human ones with them - mainly so I can give them mad, alien skin tones.
The size is decent for a colouring book as it’s small enough to carry around or stash in a drawer. The paper stock isn’t bad and will generally take whatever you dish at it. I used a range of pens and pencils and they were fine. The only thing that bled through were marker-like pens and even then it didn’t affect the next project. My favourite tools were coloured biros and standard felt tips. Fine liners also came in handy for some of the more complex designs.
I’ve actually had another sex toy colouring book in the past, but this Lovehoney one is more fun in my opinion. It would make a cheeky little gift for someone who enjoys adult colouring books. Quite pricey at £10 for what it is, though. It can lack variety in places, but some of the page designs are pretty jaw-dropping even before you start colouring. I like the way there’s a range of complexity depending on your skill or mood, too. For a small book, it will definitely keep you occupied for a while and maybe even give you some ideas for future purchases.
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: Creative patterns. Size. Mix of difficulties. Rewarding results. Will keep you busy.
Cons: Skinny outlines. Repetitive images. Pricey.
Bottom Line: Nice to wind down with. It’s also like an advert for Lovehoney goodies.
by @Mint-Monster , 4/3/2021
Lovehoney Mindful Mint Green Leopard Print Seamless Body
Muchas gracias to Lovehoney for sending me this to review.
The thick but breathable material is nice and soft - similar to that of sportswear. The pattern and colour choice is also cute - animal like yet not too wild. It may be seamless, but the markings on one side don’t quite line up right. Not a big deal, though. The mint band gives the illusion of either wearing a belt or a spotted two piece. If you wear leggings or tights underneath, then they will show up to this line. You can also throw it in with the rest of your clothes and underwear when it comes to cleaning.
This leotard has a clasp for the crotch so you don’t have to take the whole thing off when you want use the loo or something. At first, the corner parts of the fabric where the buttons are were pretty sharp. Ow! I rounded them off with a pair of scissors, so everything is safe down there now. Even though there is a cotton crotch protector, I still prefer to wear a thong under it to avoid being on the fabric (and mainly because I always do with leotards).
So what’s it like to wear? Snug and tight come to mind. While the overall material has a bit of give, the black edges aren’t as kind. This can create more of a muffin top effect in some areas like my back, butt and thighs - more double-butt than bubble-butt. The material also seems to like gravitating to my ass crack. Less obvious with jeans over it, not so much with leggings. It’s started to go slightly bobbly on the area where my lower back is (probably from sitting or rubbing on jeans), but nothing a debobbler or razor couldn’t sort if it got worse.
There is some support for my breasts thanks to the material and I felt comfortable enough to go out with a shirt over it. Because of their small size, they don’t require much to begin with. They even held up somewhat during my regular exercises with a bit of jiggle. I’m not sure how well this would go with larger breasts, though. It basically flattens mine like a swimming costume. The speckles can break up the appearance of erect nipples, too. Even though I’ve adjusted the straps to their loosest position, it still feels tight on my back and shoulders (which also can leave marks). It reminds me of those posture correcting harnesses. The ring clasp also makes creaking sounds now and again as you move around. Seems like it climbs up and clings like a baby monkey, too. It was a relief to get it off after a while to give my back and shoulders a rest.
I’m a UK size 8 and the garment is noted as S/M which I usually take as size 8-10? Unless it means Asian size or something which would be much smaller. The general rule for this is to order at least one size up to cover the size difference. I think I would recommend the same for this leotard. Then again, it could be down to my proportions as I have quite broad shoulders and a big ass. I would have still thought the max M size would be more forgiving. On a plus note, it keeps me warm and cinches in at the middle just right. Some of my body suits can miss this sweet spot so I’m happy about that.
It may look cute, but it isn’t the most comfortable garment once you get it on. Some areas are more flattering and comfy than others, however, it’s hard to ignore the parts that aren’t.
Overall Rating: 3/5
Pros: Pattern and colours. Quality. Cinches in the waist nicely. Keeps me warm.
Cons: Feels tight on the back. Black edges can create a muffin top effect in places. Creaky straps.
Bottom Line: Looks cute, but has some bite to it (and not the kind I like). Wearable and at times unbearable.
by @Mint-Monster , 3/3/2021
Lovehoney Mindful Mint Green Leopard Print Seamless Bra Set
Many thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this set to review.
Generally, everything feels well made. The recycled material is like that thick but breathable kind used for sportswear (similar to leggings). Soft when you run your hands on it. I love all things animal print and this reminds me of an adorable snow leopard. The mint green also matches my username on here.
The simple top is like a sports bra and vest crossbreed. There’s no padding - just the snug material for support by basically flattening things. I don’t have much in the way of boobs to begin with, so that means less support is needed. I’m not sure how it would fare with a bigger chest, though? I felt comfortable enough to wear it under a shirt, go out shopping and do my regular exercise routine. The straps are adjustable and having them at the loosest position felt best for me as I have quite broad shoulders. I don’t own any proper bras, so this fits right in with the rest of my underwear drawer. Even though I usually don’t go for V-neck cuts, it’s still nice to wear. Sometimes the V will drop slightly with enough activity and press against me. Pulling it back up sorts it, though. Erect nipples will show through the material somewhat, but they can be camouflaged slightly by the spots.
I wore the bra for several days without issues…Well, except that one annoying issue with the noise of it. I’m not sure if it’s because I haven’t wore real bras in years and I’m not used to the sound, but the strap adjusters creak more than a haunted house. It makes me wonder if it’s because of the cross ring connector at the back or something? Couldn’t really say as none of my other bras have anything similar to compare. Each movement gets a little “eee” from them. Maybe it needs some oil? Love the bra, otherwise.
The thong is more on the tight side. The spotted and light green parts of the set have a bit of stretch which adds more comfort while you wear it. However, the black trim sections are less forgiving and gave me a little of that muffin top effect around the hips which I’m not keen on. A pair of jeans could cover this, leggings not so much. They aren’t tight enough to be uncomfortable or unwearable and is more of a visual thing for me. On a positive note, it seems to make my butt cheeks jut out like a pair of bubbles at certain angles. Really makes it pop when you slowly take your pants off. Gives off the casual but sexy gym vibe. Oh! And the inner cotton protector lines up perfectly with my bits which is rare for me.
Both can be thrown in with the rest of the washing. One of the nice things about the bra is there are no pads to worry about - I hate fiddling to get them back in place with my other ones. Funnily enough, the bra straps didn’t creak as much after a wash. Like I cleaned the noise away?
These arrived as size S/M, but even as a UK size 8 some of the gear was a tad tight. I thought that M would let it have more give than it does. However, I think this is more due to the snug material and trimmings (could just be my big ass and hips, though). The bra fits well at least and will be in my regular rotation for wear - I just wish it would stop nagging at me…
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: Cool pattern and colours. Quality. The bra overall and no padding to deal with. Ass popping thong.
Cons: Creaky strap adjusters. Black trimming muffin tops my hips a bit.
Bottom Line: I’ll definitely be using the bra, but wish the thong trimming was more forgiving as an S/M size.
by @Mint-Monster , 25/2/2021
Lovingjoy Silicone Inflatable Dildo 6 Inch
I’ve always wanted to try one of these inflatables, but most of them are made from materials I don’t like such as latex or soft plastic. Luckily, this silicone one came along to save the day. It feels soft to the touch and decent quality. The pump, tube and release valve are also pretty well made.
Each pump gives you some noticeable difference, but not enough to be too much too quickly. Sometimes it can be hard to press in - like I need to really crush it. Maybe I just have a weak grip or the way I’m holding it? It’s usually fine, though. The release valve shrinks it quickly with a Whoosh! Another way it will slowly deflate is by pressing the flat base of the dildo, but this seems to be more of an unintentional feature as it makes a deflating balloon squeak as it does. Not the most appealing noise, is it? There’s not much to grab once the thing is inserted, so it’s easy to touch the base this way. A bit of hand adjustment is needed to avoid it. My style with this is more of a tug than a thrust as it works better with a clit vibe, anyway. I didn’t feel the length of the tube was too long or short either which is also good.
Well, I wanted girth and I definitely got it. However, the toy doesn’t inflate equally and has a kind of knot effect with most of the air being in the top end. Does this ruin it? Hell no! For me, it enhances it. I actually love knots and this is the most knot-like toy I have now. Being able to insert it at first and then being near impossible to remove is super hot! Most knot shaped toys require you to insert it first which can be a challenge in itself. But this inflatable allows you to avoid this hurdle and enjoy the fullness from within. I would say this is a great toy for beginners and veterans alike as you can pump to a size that works for you. The air inside gives it a soft bounce that is comfortable to use, too. Quite a unique feeling of being light, soft and firm at the same time. Having it pumped up a lot while climaxing also feels amazing!
As the lump is in one half of the dildo, it gives you a bit more variety with the position than just a standard big dildo. Want to feel fullness just at your opening? Check. Want more deep within? Check. On your G-spot? Check. Pumping it up when it’s inserted all the way isn’t very noticeable until you try and take it out. You’ll be surprised how big it can get! If you want to feel it “growing” then positioning the bulge at your opening is the way to go. While it’s possible to thrust, I prefer to gently tug on it when its ballooned inside me - there’s no way it’s coming out, but I like the pressure there. Even when getting it to my comfortable size limits, I didn’t feel there was a danger of it exploding.
It’s easy to clean for the most part with some toy cleaner. However, the spot under the foreskin traps dirt so more attention is required there. I’m so glad it’s silicone to make it extra hygienic. The tube and pump only require a basic wipe down. The whole set-up can be a bit fiddly to store away or air-dry, though.
As a girth lover, this satiates my appetite for all things that barely fit. It has completed the task and then some! It may not inflate evenly, but that’s one of the main reasons I love it. None of my other toys give quite the same effect. Definitely a must if you’re nuts for knots and gaga for girth.
Overall Rating: 5/5
Pros: Knot effect. Choice of girth. Speedy release valve. Silicone material. Variety of positioning.
Cons: Squeaky balloon noise if you touch the base. A bit fiddly to put away or air-dry due to set-up.
Bottom Line: A unique new favourite that I keep using over and over. A must if you’re nuts for knots.
by @Mint-Monster , 15/01/2021
Womanizer X We-Vibe Silver Delights Limited Edition Pleasure Collection
I was honoured to be sent this to test by LH. Many thanks!
Although you’re saving money in total, take note that this set won’t include everything you would get if you bought them separately. The Premium comes with a storage bag and only one stimulation head. The poor Tango is homeless! It would be nice if you got all the extras. Both look sexy in black and silver. The Premium is chunky but lightweight and the Tango lipstick makes me want to bring out my inner goth.
I hope you like magnetic chargers because here’s two of 'em. Despite the Tango charger’s infamy, it feels more secure than the Premium’s so long as you leave it flat. The Tango had a short battery life of about 4 sessions for me and died without warning. The Premium on the other hand is still going strong. I feel it definitely needs this because suction toys can take a while to position and get used to. The 3 lights also tell you how much power is in it. Handy! Its charge time is a bit longer, but at least it feels fair unlike the Tango’s.
For the Tango’s 8 settings, I don’t think a memory chip was necessary. There seems to be a slight delay in button presses, too. None of the patterns impressed me; which leaves it up to those deep, rumbly constants to do the job. They don’t get me there the quickest, but the hardest. The orgasms hit like an actual bullet! It’s also pretty quiet. However, that rigid casing can rattle loudly against other toys that are in play. It can also pinch your bits in between. Ow! I’ve never had much luck with plastic bullets, so I’m glad the Tango has broken the streak somewhat.
I feel that the Premium can be a hit or miss kind of toy. I enjoyed it the more I used it, but it does require some practice and patience. When it’s good, it can yank orgasms right out of my tingling body. The Smart Silence feature can be impressive; only turning on the motor when it’s close to the skin. Handy if you need to stop that chug quickly. However, it wasn’t always perfect (especially after cleaning). I don’t have to worry about hiding my bedroom habits, so this feature didn’t really benefit me. More of a thing to play around with. I prefer having it turned off so it’s not reacting when I don’t want it to. Don’t let the silent treatment fool you, though. This toy can get pretty loud depending on the level. It can go from a light hum to an attack helicopter. Having a seal softens things, but losing it can make it do that gargling growl. Even on the louder hums, I didn’t find it that distracting. With 12 levels, you’re sure to find something your bean will react to. The jumps aren’t always that noticeable and some of the lower ones can feel a bit inconsistent. The auto-pilot suction mode can be fun. It basically lets it do its own thing. I enjoyed this as I laid back and watched porn or fantasized for extra surprises. It starts off low and eventually builds up with 3 intensities to choose from. Having a high/mid suction on my clit right as I climaxed could be painful, so I would use the auto button as an “emergency escape” to get to a low safe speed and ride out my orgasm in bliss. Much better than removing it.
Caution is needed with lubing the Tango. The smooth coat can make it tricky to grip even before it turns into a tiny eel. Just a dab on the very tip is key. The Premium’s head only requires a little lube to work and I don’t think I re-applied much after that. The way you hold/rest it against your body means that wet hands aren’t a big issue. The larger size can make it a bit more cumbersome at times with other toys. Loved it with my vibrating dildo, though!
Both are relatively easy to clean since they’re waterproof, with the Premium only needing extra care for the removable head. It’s a major lint magnet! As mentioned earlier, the Smart Silence isn’t so smart after a wash. Whenever I used it again, it reacted to its own head - removing it made it go silent again to prove it was still working. It’s like it doesn’t like water or has to recalibrate? This would eventually correct itself by turning the power off and on a few times. Annoying, but I’m not that fussed on this feature anyway.
Overall, I think this is a decent set if you want to treat your clit. However, my personal bullet and clit sucker crowns go to other toys in my collection which weren’t as expensive. I know no toy is perfect, but for the price you would expect them to knock the cheaper competition out of the park. While I think the Premium’s auto-pilot function is fun, the Smart Silence is wasted on me. This then doesn’t give it much edge over what I already have to justify the price tag. I think if you have your heart set on the Premium, then you may as well get a rumbly bullet to go with it and save money (and possibly even more with a any other LH discount). Not my favourites, but still good in their own right. 4 stars go to both of them.
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: T: Quiet rumbles, hard orgasms, cleaning. P: Battery life, auto-pilot, tingling orgasms, storage bag.
Cons: T: Battery life, pinches, patterns, rattles, grip. P: Smart silence, practice needed, power jumps, bulky.
Bottom Line: Two types of clit stim in one sexy package. Pricey - but that’s fame, baby.
by @Mint-Monster , 16/11/2020
OhMyG Rechargeable Extra Quiet G-Spot Massaging Vibrator
Many thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this to review.
This is one of those toys that doesn’t look like a blatant sex toy. In fact, it looks more like a futuristic telephone. It even comes in gift worthy Iphone-like box. A nice bonus is the satin storage bag along with simple instructions. It has a lovely quality and weight, too. The whole thing is solid apart from the soft pearl.
The charging port is pretty phone-like, too. Sometimes it seems a bit temperamental and wants to only accept one way up like a fussy USB, and other times it’s fine? The charge light is actually heart shaped. Cute! This will flash while charging and stay solid when complete. It also flashes if it’s low on power. Charging time is about average, but the battery life isn’t that long. Maybe about 3-4 sessions? Instead of stopping dead during use, mine just doesn’t switch on until it’s had some juice it in. What a diva! The funny thing is that it wasn’t flashing during my previous session, so I wouldn’t know it needed more power until I try to turn it on again. Like the battery drains when it’s not on or it simply refuses to turn on unless there is a certain percentage of battery? Strange.
There’s only 3 settings with one control button to keep things simple. The pearl basically pulses up and down to mimic a fingering motion to stimulate the G-spot. Same type of rhythm for all 3, only the pace changes. I didn’t have any trouble getting enjoyment from all of them in equal measure. It would still be interesting if it had a vibration function or other rhythms. The curved body and prominent pearl make it a great G-spotter in general even when it’s not switched on. So if it runs out of battery, all hope isn’t lost.
It can take some practice to get the pulsing pearl in the right spot. I felt that angling and pressing it firmly upward was the best otherwise I could barely feel it. You don’t have to move or thrust much as the pearl will be doing most of the work - you just need to focus on your position and pressure. That added weight behind it does help in this regard, though. It’s comfortable to hold and doesn’t tire my hand out. I was a little worried about it pinching my insides at first, but it hasn’t done so. Phew! However, it feels like it’s “hooking” me at times if I try to take it out while it’s pumping. It makes a clanking sound if it catches which is a bit jarring. I’d recommend either switching it off first or angling it away to avoid this. The shape and firmness can be uncomfortable if you move around with it inside, too. Being on my front or back were as good as each other once I got the hang of it. The small tip and increasing girth still make it a decent dildo. The pearl also feels surprisingly good on my clit and opening - almost like a tongue or wet finger. It’s a great little tease and I like mixing it up in play time. I’ve even managed to climax with it pumping on my clit which was surprising. The constant tapping on my G-spot builds me up for more intense blended orgasms when paired with clit stimulation. This sensation is even better as I contract. They last longer for an awesome ride out, too. It’s one of the few toys that makes me buck my hips as I climax. Wow! As this is G-spotter, don’t forget to put down a towel or two as there’s a possibility of some heavy showers. At least it’s splash proof. My favourite pairings were with my flickering tongue and squishy wand vibes. Even when I took my clit vibe off to prevent climax, the pearl would keep the fire burning so to speak.
It’s surprisingly quiet. There’s no vibration, so no buzzy bee sounds. It makes more of a ghostly chant with an added tapping noise as the pearl goes up and down. It’s not something you have to worry about people in the next room hearing. The rat-a-tat-tat sound didn’t really bother me - only the clanking when it hooked on something did.
Cleaning is pretty straight forward with some toy cleaner and water - just try to avoid drowning the charge port. A little brush may be helpful for the design indentations. But how do you polish that pearl? Not to worry. You can actually pull the pearl out of its resting position to give it a more thorough scrub. I felt it was better to pull it at the top and bottom rather than at the sides. You can simply push it back in when you’re done. This part may seem a little scary as no one wants to damage their toy by pulling and prodding it. The instructions say you can also press the power button a few times to make it recede automatically, but I’ve never needed to do this.
Overall, this can be a fun and intense toy. There’s a few added bonuses that make it stand out from other G-spotters and the noise level helps, too. I just wish it wasn’t such a power diva! It may look like a funky telephone, but I don’t think I’ll be hanging up yet.
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: Quality feel and weight. No vibe noise. Pearl power for blended orgasms. Squirt potential.
Cons: Battery life and diva-ness. Clanking sound. Can take some practice. Limited settings.
Bottom Line: With some practice, it can be the pearl to your oyster.
by @Mint-Monster , 22/09/2021
Lovehoney Desert Princess Costume
Thank you Lovehoney for sending me this set to review.
The royal colours go well together and the purple complements my pale skin nicely. It’s an overall flowy piece with soft and light materials. The way it was designed makes it look appealing from every angle. Open back, legs on show, low riding waist and bold colours to boot. My partner couldn’t wait to give it a raunchy road test after I showed him the full thing.
I needed assistance with the bra as it’s just all straps like a bikini top. It looked great on, though! Comfortable, too. The cups covered my small breasts pleasantly and had enough material to hide the nipples. It took a little fiddling to figure out which way up to wear it as the edges of the cups were different shapes. After my partner tied it once, I didn’t have to undo and start again as it held the knots even after it got washed. Because there’s a lot of straps (including the hip ones), it was easier to twist them when you moved about which is expected.
I was worried about the long skirt at first since I’m only 5’1 with short legs. Thankfully, it’s a few inches off the floor for me. Yay! No concern of tripping ass over tit then. Glad I didn’t have to lift it up with heels as I think it suits my bare feet more. I like the way it covers the front and back of my lower half but keeps my legs on show from the side. Very sexy look that doesn’t reveal all! The straps on the hips are adjustable and as a UK size 8, I had them tightened all the way. Not too loose on and it wasn’t falling off me. It rides low to show off your belly like an exotic dancer. One thing I will say is that the gold part there is quite baggy. Reminds me of a little pouch or bum bag. It’s not that distracting, though. The long skirt made it cumbersome during sex as the last thing you want to do is put your hand or knee in the wrong place and rip the thing. So if you are going to keep it on you have to be extra cautious.
The thong is attached to the skirt but still manages to sit comfortably. If you want to keep the skirt on during sex (and why wouldn’t you?), then it has to be pulled to the side. This can make it a bit awkward and there’s a chance of chaffing against it when thrusting. We both enjoyed our time with it, but think it would have been better if the thong could be removable.
Ugh! I hate the collar. It’s just a bit of fabric with a Velcro fixture at the back. It doesn’t even line-up properly. The outline goes in around the edges of one side (like a bone shape). So if you wanted to make it tighter, you would have more exposed Velcro popping out on the opposite side. This was a nuisance as it kept pulling on the back of my hair even when I done it up in a high ponytail to keep it out the way. Boo! Kind of an eyesore. It also spun around my neck easily which would ruin the look a bit. I took a bunch of photos and was disappointed to see that the collar had shifted halfway through to make it look like I was wearing a tacky bow-tie or something. My advice is to scrap the thing and just use a proper collar - even a pet one would be better than that.
As it’s one size, most of the parts are adjustable in some way. One thing that did noticeably hang loose were the wrist cuffs. They’re stretchy to get over your hands, but there’s no real way to tighten them. I tried to use hair pins and then quickly gave up. I’m not falling out of them, but they don’t have a feeling of restraint either. Oh, well. It’s just for the look of the costume anyway and they aren’t supposed to be practical. The chains attach to the rings on the hips and you can remove them, too. I like the rattle sound they make as they move - great when it comes to lovemaking. They’re metal and not the cheap plastic kind. Can’t be too rough as yanking them may pull them off your wrists. Their length meant you still had a fair bit of free movement, though. In the same way as the collar, if you don’t like them you can always take them off or replace with something you may already have to be more practical.
As the thong is attached to the skirt, it means the whole thing basically has to be cleaned. Of course, it gets super dirty if you pull it to the side during sex. Instructions say to hand wash it, but I stupidly thought it would be safe on a gentle wash cycle in a mesh bag. Both the bra and skirt went in and they didn’t come out unscathed. Oops! It seems some of the gold parts have lost their shine a little. More of a “dirty gold” now, but I like to think of it as ancient gold to go with the theme. Some gold flecks also got on the rest of the material to add a bit of sparkle. Sort of turned a fail into win there? I don’t think the cuffs and collar will need to be thoroughly cleaned in the same way. A wipe should deal with those.
Overall, we both liked this set but agreed it’s not as golden as it appears. The bra and skirt are great by themselves and has a more belly-dancer vibe to it this way. While the cuffs and collar complete the slave look, they also reduce the enjoyment and dare I say cheapen it. All for show and not that practical so it depends on how you use it. Still very alluring and adds to those sex servant fantasies. Throw me to the dungeon, please!
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: Sexy from every angle. Bra and skirt strong by themselves. Light and flowy. Lovely colours.
Cons: Velcro collar. Loose fabric cuffs. Thong is attached to skirt. Baggy pouch. Cleaning care.
Bottom Line: An alluring set. Just wish some aspects were better. Luckily, the base design can carry itself.
by @Mint-Monster , 1/11/2020
Doc Johnson Silicone Flogger Whip with Dildo Handle
I can’t say I’m exactly into whips and chains, but I do like unusual toys like this. When it first arrived, it wasn’t in its own box - just its sealed bag. Going by the product page, it looks like the box is super long so I can understand why it wasn’t sent in it. I’m not that bothered about this because I always get rid of my boxes anyway. However, it may be something to be aware of in case this was intended as a gift or something.
It can take a bit of practice to flick your hand right to get that whip feel and hit with accuracy. The silicone is exquisitely silky and bouncy so even the tails tend to go all jiggly when they move. But don’t let the material fool you. The weighted ends hit with an almighty thud and can really sting! It’s like being punched by a jellyfish. A more gentle approach is more my thing. I like sliding and wrapping the tassels over my body in a tickly but sensual manner. The dildo/handle is comfortable to hold, too. It’s probably unintentional, but it reminds me of a small squid alien thing when I look at it. I don’t mind a bit of Hentai (or Tentai, in this case), so this with the “tentacles” can add to those other worldly vibes when they’re coiling all over you.
It’s a bit of an odd design choice to put not one but two brand stamps right on the dildo head. I understand this also works as the handle for the whip, but I still think these should have been more out the way. How about near or under the base? Luckily, I can only feel these brandings with my fingers and not my vagina. Even though there’s seams, they are barely noticeable. I actually thought it was seamless at first. I can feel more of the dildo head than the bumpy shaft as it seems thinner there. Girth is more my thing, so I don’t find it the most filling of toys. Despite it being half naughty flogger, I think the dimensions of the dildo are quite beginner friendly. It’s still stimulating - I just want more of it! The flared base rubs my opening the right way so I don’t even need a clit vibe to climax. If you can manage to get your fingers between the tails on the base, it will give you a bit more control and turn it into a decent little thruster.
The area where the tendrils connect to the base is probably the most awkward bit to get into to clean. I can’t reach it with my trusty toy brush, but I can slide my fingers in between for better access. Because everything is jet black, gunk and lint really stand out. At least I can see them easily when the toy is dry so I know where to focus next time, right? Drying the toy is less hassle, though. I usually leave things to air-dry on top of a paper towel on my chest of draws. The four tails can be a bit cumbersome, but they can bent around or left dangling over an edge. I suppose it depends how and where you dry it at the end of the day.
I think a dual use whip dildo is a cool idea. It’s great quality and all that, but the dildo part just doesn’t fit my personal taste in size. So that means that it’s more enjoyable as a whip than an insertable to me. I just wish they were equally as fun as one another. Packing as a whip, but lacking as a dildo.
Overall Rating: 4/5
Pros: Quality. Whip power. Sensual tendrils. Comfortable to hold.
Cons: Cleaning. Dildo girth. Whip needs practice. Brand stamps.
Bottom Line: Double trouble, indeed. I just wish the dildo part was bigger since I’m greedy.
